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Should I Text Him After The Break Up? - The Rules
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Should I Text Him After The Break Up?  -  The Rules

After a breakup, it's a common mistake to jump right back into communicating with your ex. As much as you miss having him around and enjoy the time you spend together, establishing contact too quickly can squash your chances of getting your ex-boyfriend back. If you move too quickly or aggressively, you run the risk of chasing him off for good - and that's the last thing you want to do. Waiting for him to make the first move can be a long and tedious process, but before you say screw it and do it yourself, there are some things that you need to consider first.

You need to carefully look at his behavior and the circumstances surrounding your breakup. Breakups are always varied and there is no cookie cutter recipe or instruction guide that you can follow across the board to make a broken relationship work. You need to examine your options and decide which course of action suits you and your unique situation the best. Perhaps that means waiting for him to reach out, and maybe you can help him along the way. In other situations, you may think that calling him is your only option.

Regardless of what you decide, before you make the first move to initiate contact you have to make that contact as warm and welcoming as possible. The last thing you want to do is call him only to sit there in silence twiddling your thumbs because neither of you knows what to say. Instead of that, try to focus on what will make him more receptive to hearing from you. The simple reality is that if he doesn't miss you, your phone call is not going to go over well.

Choose What You Want Him To See

What you see is not always what you get. While you may be falling apart internally or on the phone every night to your best friend your persona in public can be vastly different. You don't have to fall to pieces every time you meet someone whose name starts with the same letter of the alphabet. You don't have to dissolve into hysterics every time you think you see his car. You certainly don't have to go chasing it around the neighborhood in order to just get a glimpse of your ex - only to find out that it's your old history professor instead. Stop running. He knows he can have you back whenever he likes. Prove him wrong. Take that sense of security out of his hands and put yourself in control of your own future.

Instead of memorizing his schedule and magically appearing at his gym, on the sidelines of his pick-up basketball game or in the parking lot at work, do the opposite from what he expects. Walk away and let it go. This is a vital step that needs to be rigidly maintained - at least for now. Remember that it won't last forever.

When it gets hard to continue because all you want to do is see his face again, keep the goal in mind and power through the difficulty. Take it one day at a time, and mark each day as a challenge that has been faced (and mastered) successfully. The better you are at avoiding contact with him completely the more of an affect it will have. You'll be amazed by the difference in his attitude and demeanor towards you the next time you meet.

If you want to really drive him nuts, let him hear from his friends or family that you're out there living life and enjoying yourself. You're not moping around the apartment crying into your ice cream - you're out on the town and you're having a blast. The good news is that it's not only for his benefit. By being positive and enjoying some of the fun aspects of a single life, you start to feel better about yourself. You're taking action instead of passively waiting around, and that's a good thing. That's going to make your next move even more important.

Avoiding Contact while Increasing Interest

You're naturally curious about things that you don't know a lot about, right? Maybe it's a new product to hit the market or a specific subject in school. Something about it sparks your interest because it is, in large part, a mystery to you. The human mind uses curiosity in very unique ways and mysteries are almost impossible to leave unsolved. If you turn yourself into a mystery to your ex, he will want to find out what you're up to - and it will be nearly impossible for him to stay away.

In order to appear mysterious to someone who used to get all of your free time, you need to remove yourself from the equation. If he's constantly seeing you around time or getting emails about your day, there's nothing to wonder about. He knows how you're spending your time and that he's still on your mind. If you cut off contact for a while, he suddenly has a lot to think about. Are you spending your time with someone else? Is it a new guy? Is it possible that you've moved on before he did?

Those thoughts will start a kaleidoscope of doubt in your ex's mind that will spiral out of control. He's going to want answers but you're nowhere to be found. That's when he's going to have to come to terms with his decision - and think about the fact that it perhaps was not such a good idea after all.

Getting Him to Call You

If you spent some time immediately following the breakup doing everything possible to pursue your ex, it may take longer for him to reach out and reestablish contact. It doesn't mean it's impossible - it just may take longer than you may wish. Pursuing someone who escaped from a relationship for whatever reason simply pushes them further away so you have more distance to make up before getting him back is possible.

Instead of sitting by the phone, try and insert yourself back into his thoughts more often. The more he can start to miss you the more likely he will be to reconsider leaving you in the first place and that increases your chances of reconnecting significantly. You can put yourself back into his mind easily without giving him the impression that you're doing anything at all. If you choose your moves carefully and proceed with caution you can bring your breakup to a close much sooner than you may think.

Your Next Steps

Getting him back can be an intimidating prospect, but now that you know how to make him contact you again, it is time to take it to the next level. You need to turn that contact into a powerful and positive things, making him want to repeat the experience again and again. Being magnetic and mesmerizing to him once again is key here, you can achieve this by using subtle attraction secrets to render your ex boyfriend hopeless to resist you.

Hand in hand with that is making an impression on him. You have to make him want you back to be successful here. It may seem like an impossible task right now, but you have everything that you need at your disposal except for knowledge and techniques, learn those and you will increase your chances substantially. He will then start to show telling signs he wants you back, when you notice these you are on to a winner!

Street Talk

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