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Should You Facebook Your Ex Boyfriend? Good Or Bad Idea?
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Should You Facebook Your Ex Boyfriend? Good Or Bad Idea?

With all of the ways of keeping in touch with people these days, there are certainly plenty of ways to contact an ex boyfriend. If you want to get back together with him, should you use such methods as texting, Facebook, or MySpace? More importantly, should you even be trying to contact him in the first place?

Today's dating is unlike that of other generations. With so many people carrying cell phones and using social media sites, keeping in touch, or getting back in touch, is easier than ever before. With so many different ways of easily contacting anyone at anytime, this raises the question about whether or not it's even a good idea to try to communicate with an ex using one of these methods. Email, Facebook, MySpace,cell phone, text message...you name it, you could probably reach him by any or all of these methods right now, but should you?

This also leads us to the question, what if you were "friends" with your current ex on MySpace and/or Facebook? Should you sever the ties after the breakup, or remain "friends" on those social media sites? If you do decide to keep them on your friends list, should you actually write on their wall or comment on their posts? Or, are you better off simply deleting them and cutting off that form of communication? Hmm, lots to consider here.

*Some Couples Keep In Contact After The Break Up

So what happens when you end up staying in touch , but not necessarily by choice? Chances are if you both use Facebook or other sites, you share friends. This means that you're likely to receive posts from him and your mutual friends, and be able to view photos, comments, and other information. How do you deal with this after splitting up?

This can become an awkward situation, and we all know that staying friends on a personal level is a bad idea, as we'll discuss, but what about staying Facebook friends?

Does this mean you cannot remain friends with him on Facebook and other similar sites? If you can do this, then what about remaining in contact by email? Where exactly do you draw the boundaries, and where do the lines begin to blur? Also, if you remain Facebook friends with your ex boyfriend, how will this go over if you happen to start dating someone else?

*Cutting The Ties With The Ex

Clean breaks are actually best. This can be especially important if you are attempting to reconcile with him. By attempting to remain "friends' with someone you love, you not only subject yourself to emotional pain, you also distance yourself from your intended goal. Friendship roles and significant other roles differ, so if you truly want him as a boyfriend, why play the charade of trying to be his friend? Even being friends on Facebook and other social media sites can blur these lines and cause some issues, and it also prevents you from making a clean break. So, it's best to cut the ties and hit that little delete button.

More often than not, nothing good comes of post-breakup contact with an ex. This holds true for cases in which you want him back or not. Think of all of the information you put out there with your status updates on MySpace of Facebook. You are going to be updated about things in each other's lives whether you wish to know them or not if you continue to keep him on your friends list. This can be especially painful when one or both of you begins to see someone else. Not many people take great delight in viewing photos of how blissfully happy their ex now is with that one girl from high school that you could never stand...who just happens to have really great hair and is thinner than you. Get the idea?

Consider the scenario of when you have finally moved on and found someone new. Chances are your new guy might be aware of who you once dated and had feelings for. Imagine how it could make him feel to know that you are still in contact with someone you once cared so deeply about, or possibly still care about?

Sure the new boyfriend should trust you, but only if you truly deserve to be trusted. Examine your motives and determine why you're actually keeping your ex on your Facebook or other sites. If you really care about the new relationship, cutting your electronic ties with your ex may help him feel more at ease. You don't want to sabotage the chance of finding happiness with this guy by bringing mistrust and jealousy into the new relationship for no reason. To get him back there must be a solid foundation of trust in place.

*What If You Still Want Your Ex Back?

However, if you are not really into the new relationship and are still hung up on your ex, by all means, let the new guy off the hook so he can find someone who is crazy about him. It's not fair to either of you to lead him on. Even if this is the case, it's still a bad idea to keep in contact through social media.

You can really make yourself crazy by spying on your ex using Facebook and MySpace. If you're constantly checking on his new posts and viewing his new photos, you can be sure you're digging for clues as to what he's been up to and who he's spending time with. This can only hurt you.

Imagine seeing a picture of him with this gorgeous blonde. He has his arm around her, they are both smiling happily. They are at some beautiful beach front location. The caption for the photo simply reads "Me and Carrie". You immediately jump the conclusion that this hot blonde, Carrie,(you can barely speak her name the thought is so revolting!) and your ex are sleeping together. You just know they are having nights of wild passion on the beach. How could he leave you and be with someone else so fast, someone so disgustingly pretty?

Well, the part you didn't know is that Carrie is his first cousin and they are visiting their grandma's condo in Florida. See how you can get yourself in a dither, even over nothing? Imagine how you'd feel and react if there actually was something of that nature going on? Why drive yourself bonkers? Just cut the ties and give the guy a chance to actually begin missing you.

Your Next Steps

Cut off all electronic ties to your ex, and being to work on a plan to win him back. Let him miss you by avoiding contact with him through any source. The road to reconciliation will be a slow step-by-step process, so take that first baby step by temporarily deleting him from your friends lists and phone contacts.

There are also key clues to look out for that your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you. If you read these signs he loves you then you will have a good grounding to begin the task of getting him back. Be aware though that there are some things that you have to understand first. Like, why did he leave you in the first place? If you don't understand his reasons now, you will only be doomed to repeat the same mistakes in the future.


Street Talk

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