This Article is About
personality makeover
steady relationship
safe bet
positive attitude
positivity
phone rings
line of sight
bitterness
resentment
curiosity
phone call
frustration
patience
Talking To Ex Boyfriend - How To Handle It
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Talking To Ex Boyfriend  -  How To Handle It

You've been waiting for this phone call for what seems like forever but as soon as the phone rings, all your ideas seem to fly out the window. You're left with nothing to say. Even worse, everything that comes to mind is wrong. You know that what you say is vitally important if you want a real chance at getting back together with your ex-boyfriend but preparing for the call does not guarantee success - especially if you've been listening to the wrong advice. These techniques can guide the conversation along and give you the best possible chance to enjoy a positive outcome down the road.

Positivity is what needs to be at the center of your thoughts right now. Develop and enhance your positive attitude by mentally cleaning house. If you've stored some bitterness or anger over the breakup in a deep, dark corner somewhere, it's time to get rid of it - and get rid of it for good. Resentment and frustration are both traits that can topple a steady relationship from the inside out and they're definitely not building blocks on an already shaky surface. Give yourself a hand and get them out of your mind. Clearly focus on the path ahead and realize that you're better off letting them go than risk losing everything because of the past.

Your next step is probably going to be a hard one to face - and a harder one to stick with. Now is the time to put your patience into play. If you're known to be stubborn, use it to your advantage by absolutely refusing to contact your ex. It's a safe bet that your ex has taken notice of your personality makeover and he's probably been actively interested in what you've been doing since the breakup. What you need to do is keep your information out of his line of sight. That will increase his curiosity and make him start to worry. Regardless of how the breakup ended, no guy wants to face the possibility that they made a big mistake - and realize that it may be too late to take it back if their ex has already started moving on.

Now is not the time to do cartwheels and jumping jacks and think that the worst is over. While your ex may have a growing curiosity about you, that doesn't mean he's ready to jump on the relationship bandwagon. The work isn't over yet, and you need to keep your head in the game. That means forcing a phone call and not settling for a text message. Once he does call (and he will), you need to put your game face on and stand firm. It's not worth risking everything just because you're excited that your plan played out. There's still a long way to go before you can be sure you have his heart again.

The goal here is to feed into the mystery and not spill all of the answers outright. Right now he's confident in his position. He ended the relationship and he feels like it was a good thing for him to do. By contributing to the curiosity even more, he's going to start rethinking his position. If your ex-boyfriend still has any romantic feelings towards you whatsoever, the thought of you getting over him and moving forward is going to be terrifying. That's when he'll have to make a move and he's not going to be inclined to until he fears losing you for good.

When your ex-boyfriend does call you, stick to the principle that less is more. The less you say the more you'll encourage him to talk and since he called, he should be prepared to hold the majority of the conversation. By keeping tabs on what you're saying (or not saying) you can completely bypass the problem of spilling your guts or saying something that won't help your cause. More than anything else, this first conversation needs to be extremely short. It's in your best interest for the sake of piquing his interest as well as avoiding a potentially overly awkward conversation that can put your plans on hold indefinitely.

You should participate in the conversation minimally - in other words, let him know that it's nice to hear from him and ask him how he is. From there, the ball rests in his court. His conversation will probably include a reason to justify the call in the first place. Overall the call should last no more than four or five minutes, tops. When there seems to be a pause in the conversation, let your ex know that you're busy and that you have to go.

Before you're able to hang up your ex may jump in with the possibility of calling you again soon and if he does, you've practically scored. Let him know that you're open to the suggestion but leave the planning up to him. If he asks what's keeping you busy these days, give him a non-specific answer as simple as errands or picking something up. Then take yourself out of the house to celebrate and prepare for the next conversation in style.

Just imagine the look that must be on your ex-boyfriend's face right now following the brief conversation you just had. He's in shock. His expectations that you'd be lingering like a love-sick puppy have been shattered and run over by a dump truck. You are well adjusted and positive and your entire outlook has taken a turn for the better. By shaking up his expectations, you're also rocking his ego and his arrogance in a big way. Instead of leaving the possibility of getting back together up in the air, you just sent it crashing to the ground.

Now the tides have turned. You're in control now by dictating the length of your contact and not allowing it to progress into an hour long ramble. If he feels a teeny bit hurt that you seem to have rejected him, you're on the right track. It's all about forcing him to re-evaluate his comfort zone and taking the control back. Now he has to face some difficult decisions - like how he's going to cope with losing you if he's not ready to jump on the bandwagon and try to get you back. If he still has any feelings for you, he's not going to let that happen.

Keep in mind that the control is in your hands and that means you don't have to stumble over your words and make all the effort continually. Keep it simple and short. After all, it's not as much what you say - as how and when you choose to say it.

Your Next Steps

You need to work out how he really feels about you, this involves reading the signs he still likes you. Another aspect of what you have to do is implement effective get him back techniques. These will teach you how to understand the male psyche and proceed with success.

Also, avoiding these break up mistakes will ensure that you don't make a fool of yourself in front of him.


Street Talk

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