This Article is About
marriage communication
causes of divorce
communication issues
guessing games
mutual understanding
The Number 1 Relationship Killer: Marriage Communication Issues
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Communication ranks first among the leading causes of divorce in the country and it is the root of all the other causes as well. And we ask how come? Communication should be easy. Well it should be, if it meant talking alone. Then again, it’s not.

It goes far beyond mere talking. It involves exchanging of meaning between two people with the purpose of achieving mutual understanding. Couples who have problems on communication usually do not understand what it really means to “communicate”. It is not just about telling your partner how you feel, it also, if not mostly, about wanting to know how your partner feels, so that the two of you can work on a compromise.

Marriage communication issues stem from two extremes. It could be from driving yourself away or from driving your partner away. Either way leads to the same devastating effects on a marriage. Marriage is a partnership. Once you get married, you and your spouse are united as one. So when one party becomes disconnected, the partnership breaks.

One of the extremes in communication issues in marriage is not talking. Oftentimes, people think that by not talking they are helping the relationship, thinking that if they talk, it would make things worse. And that is totally wrong. The more you do not talk, the more it becomes difficult for your partner to understand you. Sometimes by being the “ok” man is not ok at all.

Not telling your partner what you want, how you feel or your preferences, makes you feel aggravated over time. You blame your partner for not being able to understand you, when it is you who decided to keep your feelings to yourself. You have to learn how to communicate your emotions to your partner so that the two of you can find out exactly what the problem is. In marriage, guessing games never really work.

Then, at the other end of the extremes in communication issues marriage is too much talking. Essentially this leads to the same effect as when you do not talk at all. People who talk too much are irritating. I know, especially for women, that it is hard to suppress that urge to just talk and talk and talk and talk because it feels good. But this drives your partner away. And you have to fight that urge to nag. Because if your partner feels that there is no room for his or her feelings in your relationship, they might eventually decide that there is no room for them in the marriage as well.

I know there are people who are naturally not good at talking while others have a particular propensity to nag. But if you want to make your marriage work, you have to work on that attitude as well. If you are not willing to make that sacrifice for your partner, then you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.

Marriage communication issues are the root of all other problems in the relationship. Take time to find solutions that will help you and your partner. When my marriage went down the tubes I turned to marriage classes &counseling. But what helped us the most was an eye opening book called "The Magic Of Making Up". It got us on track so fast. We have never been happier, it feels good to be on top of the mountain together.

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