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What Does It Mean If Your Ex Texts You?
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What Does It Mean If Your Ex Texts You?

When your ex texts you it is easy to get carried away and assume that they automatically want to get back together. Do not take things at face value. There are ways that you can take the guess work out of your ex's texts when you read between the lines.

It's easy to recognize that text messages have taken the world by storm in the realm of interpersonal communication. Over the course of a friendship or a romantic relationship, texts are exchanged and it becomes almost second-nature. You've sent thousands of texts to your ex - depending on your schedule, it's possible that you've sent even more than that.

When your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend ended your relationship, you expected all of those texts to stop dead in their tracks. You thought (like many people do) that all of the contact you and your ex shared had reached an unfortunate but natural end. You were imagining a bunch of options with which to fill all of your sudden free time. Just when you finally started wrapping your mind around the idea of a complete shutdown in communication, your phone alarm goes off. You look down and almost drop the phone in the process. It's your ex, and they've just texted you unexpectedly.

Is there a deeper meaning behind your ex's messages, or should you simply accept them at face-value and be grateful that you're getting a message at all? Should you accept that your ex is simply going for the friendship route, or are they looking for something more from you? Is it even possible to tell at all - or is it just a guessing game that you're automatically designed to lose?

Is there a Hidden Reason They're Texting?

Needless to say, it's time to skip through all of the maybes and get right to the point. Your ex is simply not messaging you innocently. If they're reaching out and establishing contact, it's usually for a reason - and that reason more often than not includes some form of wanting to reconnect - at least in some way. It's not quite time to put up the streamers and throw a "we're getting back together" party. A text message doesn't automatically mean that they're looking to get back together. It is a sign, however, that they're interested in communicating on some level - and that could lead to a form of reconnection down the road a little bit. Jumping to conclusions could be deadly, however. Maybe they genuinely have a reason for reaching out - or maybe they just want a quick one-night stand if they're feeling lonely.

Don't count on your ex to be forthcoming for the reason for their message. If you ask what they're up to, they probably have a built-in excuse in mind. They could tell you that they just wanted to see how you were doing - or try to make a friendship into a convenient excuse. Regardless of what they say, they're making the door of communication open a few inches - and that gives them the ability to slip in should they feel the need arise.

You should take two things as a certainty at this stage in the game. First, it's safe to acknowledge the fact that your ex does miss you on some level. Secondly, if your ex was willing to do more than consider reaching out to actually DO it, you're on their mind - and it's not a fleeting thought, either.

Getting a text-message from your ex out of the blue could be a gigantic indicator that things are headed in the right direction. They're not just checking in - they're keeping an eye on you, whether they want to admit it or not. Reaching out to someone you recently dumped takes some serious guts, and if they were willing to take action on their instincts, they probably have another motive in mind.

Are You Receiving Regular Messages?

If your ex only texted you once or twice, it's possible that their interest is purely materialistic. Maybe they left something behind, or they had a genuine question that only you could answer. Maybe they needed to figure something out that they knew you were knowledgeable about. If that's the case, getting your hopes up is extremely premature.

If, however, your ex is texting you often to say a whole lot of nothing, it's possible that they're trying to reconnect on a more intrinsic level. It's an indication that you're on their mind, and they're having a lot of difficulty reconciling their emotions with the reality of the breakup itself. It's possible that they're attempting to test the waters - to see if you're open to the idea of reconnecting before they're forced to make a move that could end badly if you've already begun to move on.

What Time of Day are They Reaching Out?

Contrary to what you may believe, timing is everything when it comes to constant text messaging from an ex. Do they text you in the morning as they're getting ready for work or school? Do they text you on their breaks, or is their messaging usually in the evening? If you and your ex usually communicated after dark, continuing this trend could be a huge indicator that they're looking for more than just a simple conversation between friends.

If your ex is texting you more on the weekend, they're probably at a loss on how to move forward. They may act like they're bragging about their active social life, or even sending pictures from the bar while they're out with friends. It seems like they're trying to show off, but these efforts are little more than displays of insecurity. If they were happy with the way their life was going, they wouldn't need to include you in it. They'd simply move on and leave your breakup (and you) in the past. If they act like they're trying to convince you of how well things are going, it's probably true that you're not the main subject. They're trying to convince themselves that they're okay without you - and get a reaction from you in the processes that allows their self-esteem to rebound from the breakup and even grow.

Your ex may be trying to intentionally make you jealous - especially if the single life isn't living up to their predetermined expectations. Don't let it get you down, and don't take it personally. They're probably trying to pry for information the only way they know how - and by not giving them the reaction that you're looking for, you're only going to make your chances of winning your ex back more likely.

How Should You React to your Ex's Messages?

If you're positive that you want to win back your ex and put the breakup behind you, your best plan of action is to do nothing at all. It seems contrary to all of your instincts - and that's part of what makes it such a brilliant strategy. Let them dangle the cord of hope in front of you, but don't take the bait. Ultimately, their plan is going to work against them in interesting ways. They're only going to recreate their own interest in you, while you potentially play hard to get. It's easy for them to get the wrong impression, and if you portray even a smidgen of desperation, they're going to take what they want from you - and leave you behind in the dust - again.

If you really want to put your life back on track, don't rely on text-messages in the middle of the night to do it. You need to come up with a whole plan - not just fly by the seat of your pants. Only by preparing yourself ahead of time can you ensure that you're in the best position possible can you act appropriately for your ultimate goal - and put the breakup behind both of you for good.

What's Next?

Hopefully you now understand what it means when your ex texts you. This is when you have to take things up a notch if you want to get them back again. The first thing that you need to be aware of is contact with your ex and how it is crucial to making them desire you again. Get this part wrong and you have very little chance of getting back together. You also need to avoid these break up mistakes if you want to be seen positively by your ex.


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