The breakup took place, despite your protests. Both of you turned and went your own way for a time. You've done your best to move on, and you're starting to regroup after a few weeks of moping around the house. You're getting in shape, you've put the ice cream back on the shelf and you're starting to feel really good about yourself again. Things finally seem to be getting back to normal and you've been keeping yourself busy. It feels good. Then, out of the blue, you get a text from your ex. What is he up to? What does he want from you? Why would he text you instead of calling or emailing or something else? What does it all mean?
The first thing you need to realize is that if he's contacting you, he's definitely showing some signs that he's still interested. Don't let yourself downplay this contact as simple friendly banter or curiosity. After a breakup, there's only one reason that your ex would be reaching out.
Your relationship may have ended, but chances are good that not all of your issues have been resolved. Think of his text as a way that he can stick his toe in the pool to test the temperature before diving in head first. He thinks calling you would be too blatant and he's fearful of being put at a disadvantage. Your ex probably spent a good amount of time selecting which words to use and how to phrase them carefully to level the field and end up on even ground.
Reason for Texting
Your guy probably has been thinking about you for a while. He's been replaying your relationship in his mind and he's probably started feeling lonely. Maybe he has a lot of time on his hands and he's starting to get bored without a lot of extra things to fill his mind, and that's where you crept in. The single life isn't everything he imagined it would be, or maybe he just misses having you around. Your time apart has started to alter his beliefs about the breakup and the relationship in general. He's not ready to fully move on yet and probably wants to find a way to keep his foot in the door of maybe - just in case.
Your ex may be looking for a little more than casual conversation, though, and it's probably not what you had in mind. Maybe he's looking for a casual hookup, and going to his ex is easier in his mind than trying to find someone else. If this is true, make sure that you're prepared to stand your ground. Sleeping with him will do nothing for your chances of getting back together.
The majority of the time, when your ex boyfriend texts you, it is with the pretense of casual, innocent conversation. He's trying to break the wall of silence that has grown between you and trying to discern for himself how you still feel. He wants to see what's going on in your head before making any big moves if he's considering the possibility of getting back together, and he doesn't want to make that leap if you're giving him no indication that you feel the same way.
Does He Want You Back?
If your ex boyfriend sent a text, then there is a reason behind this, especially if it was out of the blue. Text messages remove the level of personal contact that you would expect from someone who wants to reconnect or restart a romance. They're a way of communication that still keeps a safe distance between two people, and it means that he feels a little shy or unsure of himself or his position with you. If your relationship ended badly, sending a text can be a good way for him to find out if you're still upset - if you are, approaching you in person could easily backfire.
The main thing that your ex is after by reaching out and making contact is knowledge. He wants to know what's going on in your world and what you're up to. He's curious about you, and he wants to know if you've moved on or if you still have feelings for him. He wants to know if you're still upset about the breakup and whether or not you may be considering reconciling. If he wants to get back together, finding out if you're already seeing someone else is a vital piece of the puzzle for him.
Take care of yourself, first. Don't give too much away too quickly. If you quickly spill all the information that he's after, he may not choose to contact you again for a significant period of time. If your ex gets the indication that you may be in the initial stages of moving on, however, his interest will multiply instantly. You want to be a little bit of a mystery, and not give too much information away right off the bat. This will expand his curiosity and may even play a little on his jealousy. You're now at the forefront of his mind, and he won't be able to focus on anything else.
Almost any reason that your ex boyfriend is suddenly texting you again is a good thing, especially if you're looking to reconnect and get back together. You're still facing an uphill battle to make him want you again, however, so make sure that you're well prepared and that you have a workable plan in place. The more knowledgeable and prepared you are, the better your chances of success become. Plan your moves carefully and don't make any sudden decision that you may later regret.
It may seem like reconciliation is right around the corner and that you're only a few messages away from jumping back into his arms. The reality is a little trickier - there are still a lot of things to accomplish before you can bet on your reconnection as a sure thing. You need to know how to respond to him in order to have the best possible affect - the wrong message can send him in the opposite direction and ruin any progress that you have made.
Patience is the key here - you can't just jump back into a relationship. There is nothing you can say to him that will send him riding over on his white horse like Prince Charming to pull you from your solitude and go riding off into the sunset. Know what drives him crazy (in a good way) and use that to your advantage. You also have to tread carefully and avoid these behaviors that could possible make him reconsider his curiosity and to stop in his tracks.
Article Views: 17387 Report this Article