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What Should You Text Your Ex? - Top Tips
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What Should You Text Your Ex?  -  Top Tips

Knowing what to say to a recent ex after a breakup can be an anxiety-provoking problem. You know that there are so many "wrong things" to say that could send a precarious situation spiraling downward off of a cliff. With texts especially, it's easy to read them the wrong way, depending on your mood or your current circumstances. You may have a lot of ideas swimming around your head, and there's probably an endless list of possibilities, but these are the most common.

* you want to apologize for everything you may have done wrong

* to say hello in order to recreate a conversation

* a text full of sexual innuendo to try and get a reaction

* something designed to make your ex laugh

* expressing your feelings openly and honestly

* asking (or begging) for a second chance

* intentionally making your ex jealous

* bringing the past back to life in your ex's memory

* insert option 1,000,001 here…

What should you text your ex? Are there some possibilities on the list (or off of it) that are absolute no-no's when it comes to dealing with an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend? Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of tailor-made, easy answers - and a lot of it depends on your situation and your unique set of circumstances. Each situation, and each breakup, is different. There are a lot of common scenarios, however, and it helps to know what you're dealing with - and what steps you should take moving forward.

-It's Been Awhile:

If you and your ex have been out of touch since the breakup took hold, it's normal to want to find a way to "break the ice". You ultimately need to find a way to get the conversation started again, but you don't want to make it seem like you're forcing your ex to participate if they're not ready. Toss them a line - but leave the ball in their court. That way, it's up to decide what to say in response - or if they want to respond at all.

- How Can You Make Your Ex See You as a Potential Partner Again?

You and your ex have been talking, but things seem to be stuck in first gear. They're not making any moves to take the conversation (or the relationship) to the next level - and you're terrified of doing or saying the wrong thing and frightening them off for good. Your best option now is to remind them that the two of you shared a pleasant history together - and avoid the negative aspects of your relationship. Give them a quick flashback, and celebrate the highlights of your time together.

- Your Ex is Dealing with Personal Problems:

As twisted as it may sound, there are ways to gain the advantage when your ex is going through some situation in their own lives that leaves them vulnerable. In order to capitalize on the situation (without seeming selfish in the process), you need to let your ex know that you're there for them. Being supportive in the face of difficulty (especially since it's not your difficulty) helps to recreate the bonds and intimacy that the two of you created while you were in a relationship. You don't want to show up unannounced and force your ex to take you up on your offer - but if you send a message of support and an offer of help that can either be taken or left, the offer is on the table - and your ex will appreciate the offer.

- You Want to Show Your Ex that You're Doing Okay:

This approach needs to be approached with a measure of caution. You cannot simply through caution to the wind and throw the jealousy card on the table and expect it to all go according to plan. The idea is to let your ex realize that they're preconceived notions of you and your life may not jive with reality - that you're not waiting by the phone for the call that lets you know they're taking it all back. In this case, less is more. It's possible to construct a message that conveys far more than you're saying outright. You can let your ex know that you're busy at the moment - or that you're out, and you'll get back to them later. From there, their imagination will take over and do the rest of the work for you.

- You Want to Express Your Emotions:

Emotional texts are difficult to master, and timing is everything. If you send your ex a text message the day after they broke up with you and tell them how in love with them you still are, you're only going to scare them off. If you wait too long, you may have missed your opportunity. In order for this type of text to have the best effect possible, you want to hold off until you and your ex have rebuilt a kind of foundation. You don't want to drop the bombshell on them unannounced. With the proper preparation, however, this kind of text could have a tremendously positive result.

What's Next?

What you should text your ex is only half of the battle. If you want to win back your ex then you should doing proactive things to make them see you in a romantic light again. First of all you need to stay clear of these break up mistakes entirely. A lot of us are doing the wrong things completely and don't even know it.

You should also be on the look out for signs ex still likes you. There are many subtle things that they will be saying and doing that you should be paying attention to. Learn to decipher these things and you will have the upper hand in your quest to reconcile.

Street Talk

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