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Figuring out the perfect text message to send your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend is no easy task. There are millions of possibilities, and each of those individual possibilities comes with its own set of potential outcomes - and your ex's exact reaction is simply impossible to predict. Your brain is going a million miles a minute, and each moment brings more potential text-scenarios to the foreground. These possibilities include (but are certainly not limited to):
*"hello or "hi" as a means of striking up a conversation
* a deliberate attempt to gain a sexual reaction
* putting everything out in the open about your feelings
* begging, pleading or bargaining for a second-chance
* a positive memory or two from your mutual past
* intentional jealousy to make your ex believe that you're moving on
* a joke or funny story in order to get a laugh
* a heartfelt apology of all of your shortcomings
When it comes down to making a decision about what sorts of texts to send to an ex, you need to take the specifics of your situation into account. Not all ideas are going to work out in every situation and you have to apply common sense to your situation - although in an emotional situation like a breakup, common sense may be hard to come by. While every situation is unique, there are common post-breakup scenarios that you may unwillingly find yourself in. If so, the following hints and tips may help to even the playing field a bit - or at least give you a shot at getting back together on your terms.
- Time Has Passed and You Haven't Been In Contact:
If you and your ex have been distant and out of touch since the breakup, you can't just rush back into a full-blown conversation out of left field. You need to find a way to break through the barrier of silence with a simple, friendly message first, without putting any pressure on your ex in the meantime. It's understandable - it took every ounce of courage you had to send that message, but your ex isn't living on your timetable. If you push too hard, you'll push your chance away - perhaps for good.
- You Want Your Ex to Consider Their Options:
After a breakup, your ex does not see you as someone that has dating potential. Even though you're right there, and you've been communicating back and forth equally, their mind is limited. You're an ex to them - or even worse, you're someone they consider to be a friend. You need to change the way that they think of you, and the text message that this conversation calls for is a replay of your best moments together. Send your ex a memory. Recall the details, and bring it to life. Once your ex has the picture clearly in mind, they'll start to realize that the memory goes beyond just the past - it involves emotions as well - and those emotions will be difficult for them to shove back down in the corner, ignored and forgotten.
- Your Ex is in Trouble:
You never want your ex to hurt. In fact, watching them suffer or undergo some kind of personal struggle can be infinitely hard for you to bear. The natural thing to do is to offer to help - even if you're relatively certain that they won't take you up on your offer. The point is to offer - and if they do accept help, make sure that you do what you told them you would do. Whether they're just looking for a shoulder to cry on or advice, be what you told them you would be. That will increase natural intimacy between you and help to reestablish the bond that you once shared that was damaged by the separation of the breakup.
- You Want Your Ex to Realize that You're Out There:
When it comes to breakups, jealousy is often the go-to response if you're trying to get a reaction out of your ex. Unfortunately, it's not an emotion that can be so easily trifled with. You need to be careful when considering jealousy as an option, and it's best done in extremely small doses. You don't need to be obvious, either. If you want your ex to realize that all of your time isn't spent sitting patiently by the phone waiting for a call or text, subtlety clue them in on the fact that you have your own life now. They'll be more than able (and willing) to put the rest of the pieces together all by themselves.
- You Want Your Ex to Understand how You Feel:
It's hard to put emotions into words - especially after the end of a relationship. While it may be tempting to lay it all on the line immediately following the breakup, this type of text is best employed after you and your ex have gotten back in touch. You can't blindside them with the news and expect them to take it will. In fact, if you move too quickly you could frighten them - not bring them back into your arms. Be patient. The urge may be killing you, but it's best to wait it out and give it your best shot when the moment presents itself. You will only win your ex back with patience and willpower.
What's Next?
When you are looking for what sorts of texts to send to an ex you need to be creative. There is an expert system out there that will talk you through exactly what you need to do and say to your ex. Contact with your ex is crucial to make them want you more and start seeing you as a potential partner again.
Contact with your ex is only part of the puzzle though. You need to know how your ex feels about you with signs ex still likes you. Watch out for the clues that will show you where you stand with your ex.
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