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What To Do When Your Ex Isn't Speaking To You
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What To Do When Your Ex Isn\'t Speaking To You

Being the recipient of an unwanted breakup is never a good feeling. It's easy to try and overcome the reality of a breakup by attempting to make contact with your recent ex. Obviously communication is necessary if you're going to get your relationship back - but if your ex simply isn't responsive, an already difficult situation just became a lot harder. Is it possible to overcome the obstacles in your path to get an ex back? Absolutely - as long as you use your head and don't allow your emotions to dictate your behavior.

It's easy to assume the worst, and no one can blame you for the serious blow to your ego. Instead of just assuming that your ex wants nothing to do with you, take a minute to imagine their position. Dealing with a breakup takes time - even when your ex is the one who made the decision to end it. Allow them the time necessary to process their emotions. Being patient right now can go a long way in determining your overall success.

Making Smart Moves:

It's easy to allow your emotions to take over. They're completely overwhelming at times, and your position is understandable. However, emotions should not be dictating your actions. You need to approach a difficult situation from a rational and calm mind-set if you're going to get your ex to want you again - not simply reacting to a painful set of circumstances by any means necessary.

If you want to get your ex back for good, you're going to have to work at it, and the following things should be avoided at all costs since they can severely limit your overall chances.

- Chasing your Ex away:

It may be almost second-nature to try and follow an ex out of the door. You want your opportunity to tell them how you feel and to explain various things that may have gone wrong, but doing this could be a big mistake. The more you follow after them, the more they're going to pull back. It's better to just give them some time to think - without following them around throughout the process.

- Allowing Negativity to take hold:

While you may not be able to keep the depression at bay after a breakup, you can choose how long you're willing to suffer through it. Fighting your way out of a severe depression is hard work, and it often seems easier to just give in and allow it to overcome you.

- Becoming a perpetual hermit:

If you think that sitting at home alone is going to win you points with your ex, you're mistaken. It's hard to put yourself out there in the world after a breakup has driven you to the ground. Simply sitting at home on the couch isn't going to help you accomplish your goal - it's going to make the reality of the situation even harder to deal with overall.

- Trying to change to fit what you think they want:

Changing yourself to become the person you believe someone else wants never ends well. You may be able to fake it for a short while, but it doesn't work out in the end. You don't want to be someone that you're not. Not only does it appear contrived and obvious, it only makes the person you really are less apparent - and that's the person that your ex fell for to begin with.

The Truth Behind the Distance

If your ex seems to be avoiding anything you do or say like the plague, it's usually due to one of two possible reasons. Firstly, trying to spark up a conversation immediately following a breakup actually works against you. Just like you needed time to come to terms with reality and process what happened, your ex needs the same consideration. Moving too soon can work against you overall and make your breakup continue longer than it could have initially. Secondly, inundating your ex with seemingly endless texts, emails or Facebook messages can create an incredibly negative impression. If you absolutely must make contact, go for the "less is more" technique. Allow your ex the time to think through a response - don't just assume you're not getting one because they didn't answer you right away.

Like all things, recovering from a breakup is not an instantaneous thing that can be accomplished overnight. You need to have a plan in place that paints you in a positive light - not one wrapped up with negativity and unnecessary drama. Take the time between different parts of your plan to gauge their successfulness. Read between the lines and try to figure out if your efforts are paying off. The good news is that there are ways to tell how your ex is thinking. Putting yourself in their shoes can go a long way to understanding their own process, and doing so can go a long way in getting them back in the end.

What To Do Next

Knowing how to avoid breakup mistakes is a very important first step that you should take. Too many people ruin their chances of repairing their relationships by making a series of avoidable mistakes. Knowing what these mistakes are and being able to avoid making them will improve your chances greatly.

Reading the signs that your ex still likes you is not as easy as some may assume. Some of the signs will be obvious, other signs will be more subtle. Knowing how to read the signs and signals that your ex gives off will take the guesswork out of the situation.

Winning your ex back is not a simple task. Nothing worth having comes easily. With the right knowledge you can put yourself in the best possible position to get the job done.


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