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Coming up with the right thing to say to an ex in a text after a breakup can be a nerve-wracking decision for anyone. Texts have taken the world by storm in the past few years, and they make contact so easy. The world is literally at your fingertips, but they don't provide advice on what to say - or when to say it. It's far too easy to take a text the wrong way and force an already bad situation spiraling dangerously out of control. You may have a lot of ideas for what to say to your ex in a text, and these are often the most common starting points.
* Just say hello - what better way to begin a conversation
* Find a way to apologize for everything you've ever done wrong
* Something humorous or quirky to get a smile or a chuckle
* Something laced with sexual innuendo in order to turn your ex on
* The textual equivalent to crawling on your hands and knees to beg for mercy
* A heart-felt impression of your true feelings and emotions
* A text laced with memory to try and rekindle all of the positive aspects of your former relationship
* A text designed to try and force your ex to feel jealous or frightened of losing you
* any other text in the world
While all of your ideas are perfectly valid, they're not all going to get a positive result. In fact, some could have the opposite effect and frighten your ex off permanently. How do you know which ideas are good - and which should be scrapped before you ever type them in? It depends on your breakup, your former relationship, and what you're hoping to accomplish. While it's impossible to come up with a guide that applies to every breakup in the world, these scenarios and goals are the most commonly faced by those in your position.
- It's Been Awhile Since You've Spoken:
It's normal for distance to develop once a relationship has come to an unfortunate end. If communication has been scattered (or non-existent) you need to open the door to talking again. You can't just jump into the deeper stuff off the bat. Send your ex a text that gives them the option to respond without adding any pressure or expectations. Leave the response up to them. Perhaps they choose to delay responding - and that's okay. You want to leave the decision up to them.
- Communication has Been Established but You Seem to Be Treading Water:
Maybe you and your ex have been talking semi-consistently since the breakup but things seem to be stuck on one level and you want to up the ante. Instead of jumping the gun and frightening them off, now is the time to rekindle all of their positive memories of you and the relationship in general. Send them a message that replays one of your best moments together. The feelings associated with that memory will not be easily ignored or escaped and your ex will have to deal with them.
- Things Aren't Going Well for your Ex:
Difficulty breeds intimacy on a purely human level - and an intimacy has already been pre-established between you and your ex (although it took a hiatus during the breakup). If your ex is dealing with some painful problems right now, you want to let them know that you're there for them if they need you, but again you don't want to pressure them into accepting your offer of help.
- You Want to Prove that You Have Built a Life Without Them:
If you want to use jealousy to try to force a reaction from your ex, it's best used with caution. A little jealousy goes a long way, and you don't want to shove it down their throat or else they'll clearly get the message - and figure out what you're trying to accomplish. Let them know that you're out and having a good time. Nothing more is necessary. Their imagination is going to kick into high gear and that imagination will take care of the rest.
- You Want to Verbalize Your Emotions:
Emotions exist between two separate hearts when they combine and feed into each other. If you want your ex to know the truth about how you still feel, a heart-felt message may be a viable option. These texts are not appropriate all of the time, however. They have a much higher chance of being effective if you time them right and wait for the opportune moment - and that moment is NOT an hour or a day after they tell you that the relationship is over.
What's Next?
Working out what to say to your ex in a text is only part of the puzzle. If you are serious about getting them back you need a more detailed and effective plan. There are many get your ex back strategies that you need to implement in order to make your ex want you again and see you in a romantic way. You need to stay clear of these break up mistakes for a start. We are all guilty of some or all of these things without even knowing it. They will make your ex see you negatively if you don't nip them in the bud now.
Interested in knowing the truth about how your ex really feels about you? Learn the signs ex still likes you and you will be able to decipher their body language and read between the lines.
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