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What To Say When Your Ex Boyfriend Calls You
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What To Say When Your Ex Boyfriend Calls You

If you're currently involved in an underground ploy to win back your ex-boyfriend, what to say to him to have the best result may be a confusing and frustrating proposition. Since all forms of contact virtually stop after a relationship has ended (or at least they should), reestablishing contact can be particularly difficult. You need to encourage him to dial you up but once he does, what are you supposed to say to your ex boyfriend? The techniques listed below can make an awkward situation easier to handle and get you started in the right direction.

You're going to turn the volume up a notch by changing the rules of the game. If contact between you and your ex has been on-again, off-again since the breakup, it is time for you to stop it in its tracks. You need to avoid emails, texts, phone calls or Facebook messages entirely. The more curious he becomes in your current life, the more interested he will become and by refusing to hand over the play-by-play easily, you're going to bring him out into the open in a big way. He's going to start to feel vulnerable as he realizes that you may be just fine and you didn't need him in order to be happy after all.

Overtime, the dam is going to burst and your ex is going to try to establish contact. If his initial attempts are through email, Facebook or texts, simply brush them off without responding. If he tries to call you after only a few days of silence, brush that off as well. After a few weeks have passed, when the phone rings you need to be ready and that means making sure you are mentally and emotionally prepared. If your ex has been spending all of his time wondering what's been keeping you so busy you couldn't pursue him anymore, now is not the time to gush over finally receiving a phone call. If you do, you've undone every second of your hard work - and you're going to have to start over from the beginning.

When your ex-boyfriend does decide to call, your aim is to keep it short and simple. Your tone of voice is very important - you don't want to discourage him from calling again by sounding disinterested, but you don't want to go overboard with the excitement either. Your best plan of action is to act like your ex caught you in the middle of something, but you decided to answer the phone anyway. Throughout the brief call, allow your ex to steer the conversation and keep him talking. This means you won't potentially put your foot in your mouth and it will give him the sense that, because he called, the conversation is his responsibility.

Since the conversation is up to him, let him ramble. After greeting him pleasantly, ask him a leading question that will give him the opportunity to speak - asking how he's doing is the perfect opening. While the conversation may rest on his shoulders, the timing rests on you. Keep an eye on the clock and after a few minutes have passed, be ready to pounce on an opening in the conversation. You should let your ex know that although it was nice to hear from him, you unfortunately have to run due to other plans. Be vague about the next conversation but let it remain a possibility and then get off the phone.

He may suggest talking again right away before you get off the phone. If he does, greet it positively but avoid hammering down any specifics. Better yet, if he asks what you're off to do, avoid any specific details. Once you've successfully ended the call, get out of the house and go do something. Being away from home will give you the opportunity to reflect without obsessing and give you some much-needed air.

The absolute clincher of this situation should be the way your ex-boyfriend is going to react to this startling and completely unexpected turn of events. Until he actually reached out and made contact, he thought that you'd still be wallowing, waiting for him to return. Now he's starting to think differently. Now he needs to re-evaluate the reality of the situation and that means facing the possibility that you may already be gone, moved on and done with him completely. This will be the catalyst to get him back.

By keeping your conversation limited and brief, it's like you've completely overturned his state of mind and he's the one that has to chase you. He may even feel like you brushed him off instead of talking to him for longer and that's a point in your favor. After the breakup he felt safe and secure and you're showing him in a very real way that things aren't always what they seem. You've taken the control out of his hands, and you're the one behind the wheel. That means that he stands to possibly lose you for good. As long as your ex is still harboring feelings for you that's not going to fly and he's going to be forced to do something to get you back.

When your ex boyfriend calls, you need be polite but brief. Let him talk. Focus not so much on what you should say, but rather how you should say it - and when. Maintaining a positive frame of mind and a confident demeanor is the most important aspect of contact, and now you're coming out on top.

Your Next Steps

You will have to know how to contact ex boyfriend before and after he calls you, this is crucial if you want him to call you again and desire you. Knowing how he feels about you is also key so that you know where you stand. Read the signs he still loves you before you proceed. He will be giving off certain clues that he still has feelings even if he is not aware of it himself!

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