No one says the breakups are easy. In fact, they're one of the hardest circumstances that anyone has to face in their lifetime. Often, they seem completely out of control and there's nothing you can do except sit there in shock and wonder what happened. Breakups often come as a complete surprise, and knowing what to do next when you genuinely want to get back together with an ex can be even more difficult when you can't seem to get through to them to talk.

The worst thing you can do right now is to assume that a lack of communication means that your ex no longer cares about you. It's likely that they still care for you a lot - they're just taking some much needed time away to try and wrap their heads around what's happened. Even though they chose to end things, it doesn't mean that they were fully prepared for all the emotions associated with the end of a relationship. You need time to think things through - and so do they. Once you can realize that they're simply in their own version of the process, it's easier to understand what they're going through - and then you can work on your plan to reverse the process and get your relationship back.

Doing the Right Thing:

While you couldn't stop the breakup from happening (often against your best efforts), choosing how you react to the situation can go a long way in repairing the damage down the road. Instead of overreacting and allowing your emotions to take over, take a moment to assess the situation rationally. Here are some things you can do to put yourself in the best position possible.

- Avoid chasing after them blindly. It's a typical law of nature. If you're being chased for any reason, your first instinct is to run away. Your ex is no different. If they see you following after them trying to convince them to change their minds, they're going to do the opposite of what you're after - they're going to go the other way as fast as possible and probably leave you behind in the dust.

- Don't wallow in self-pity. It's normal to feel the loss of a breakup strongly. Sinking into your feelings now may feel good at the time, but if you're looking to get your relationship back, it's not going to help you. Not only is depression an instant turn-off, the longer you wallow in it the harder it is to eventually overcome.

- Do something with your free time. You may be tempted to sit at home watching a marathon of your favorite movies but putting yourself out there is an important part of the process. Instead of exhibiting to the world that you're ready to move on, it shows your ex that you're still capable of having a good time, and proves that you're capable of looking to the future instead of living in the past. Not only does it give them an idea of what their life is going to be like without you, it also gives them a glimpse into the person you really are - and that more than any other avenue is going to make them start questioning whether the decision to end things with you was a good idea in the first place.

- Reconnect with yourself. Relationships can make people different over time. Think back to the beginning of your relationship with your ex and examine what it was about you that attracted them to you in the first place. Reconnecting with that person can be the key to winning your ex back. Their keys to attraction don't typically change. You attracted them once, and it stands to reason that you can draw them back again if you display the same traits that caught their attention initially.

Why Post-Breakup Communication Seems Difficult

If you and your ex were communicating immediately after things ended, you may have the answer as to why it's difficult to get them to respond now. It's normal to try and fix things too quickly instead of giving them the chance to accept what's happened. Trying to reach out too soon can accomplish the reverse of your goals. Another possibility is that you've simply been trying too hard. Sending one message doesn't really seem like enough. When you don't get a response, it's easy to go ahead and send another one. This overwhelms an ex and makes you appear desperate. Nothing can turn off an ex like a seemingly desperate ex that is unwilling to give them some time. Patience is going to be the key to reopening the lines of communication even though waiting may be difficult to do.

Like everything else, getting back together with an ex is a process that requires many different steps. Each step needs to be completed in turn before you can move on to the next, and you have to take time in-between steps along the way to try and determine if it's working. Learning to read your ex's behavior can be a crucial part of the overall process. If you learn some valuable techniques designed to help you interpret your ex's reaction, you can give yourself the best chance of moving forward and getting them back for good.

What To Do Next

Being dumped is a gut wrenching experience, it can knock even the strongest off balance. With the right knowledge you can turn your situation around and get your relationship back on track again. You need to take the guesswork out of your situation. When you know what what to do you can focus all of your attention on your goal - winning your ex back.

One of the most important things you should gain knowledge about is why you were dumped. Too many people try to restart a relationship without first reflecting on why they were dumped in the first place. You will put yourself in a much better position to get the person that you love back when you gain insight into this issue.