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Why Is My Ex Still Contacting Me? - The Real Reasons
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Why Is My Ex Still Contacting Me?  -  The Real Reasons

As technology marches onward, so also do the means and methods of communication. Texts have taken over the airwaves and have replaced phone calls as a method of choice for conveying messages between two people. It's possible that you and your ex sent hundreds - if not thousands - of messages while you were still together.

Unfortunately, however, your relationship came to an end, and you assumed that all of those texts would stop as a result. Regardless of what took place during the breakup itself, you probably realized that staying in touch continually was probably not in the cards. You thought that the two of you would probably start to move on with your own lives, and gradually become less of a part of each other's. As you're sitting at home enjoying your ice-cream, however, your phone vibrates - and it's your ex.

Why would your ex text you now? What could they possibly have to say after everything that's happened, and why now? Is this just their way of saying hi, or is there something more that they're after? Is it possible that this text is just the beginning of a new chapter, or should you just take it at face value, and do what you can to move on?

Is there a Reason for Their Messages?

You can bet that your ex isn't just messaging you out of charity or as an innocent way of saying hi. Far from it. Whether or not your ex is ready to admit it - or even realize it themselves, your ex has a hidden agenda if they're willing to reach out after a breakup that they initiated in order to reestablish contact with you.

Don't be surprised to realize that a relationship may not be on your ex's agenda - at least not at the moment. It's more likely that they're trying to figure the situation out themselves. That means that they have to figure out where you stand, what their options are and how they can achieve their own goals - even if those goals are not yet clear. They could also be looking for a brief physical connection to try and alleviate some of their loneliness. That's why caution is a virtue here - and it's wise to not jump to conclusions before the moment is clear.

You can count on a couple cold hard facts that stand out like a sore thumb in the midst of all the uncertainty. Take comfort in the fact that you are a constant theme in your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend's thoughts. These thoughts are the driving force that caused them to reach out in the first place, and continuing contact after dumping someone takes a lot of nerve and cannot be taken for granted. Secondly, your ex is experiencing a consequence of their actions that they didn't put a lot of thought into before. They're missing you. If they thought they could walk away from the relationship without a scratch, they were wrong - and now they're left with a gaping hole inside of them that they probably never saw coming.

How Often is Your Ex Reaching Out?

The first step to trying to solve the riddle of your ex's messages is to discard any messaging that fits in with your current situation. For example, if your ex is asking a reasonable question about where something is, what happened with a joint venture or clear up a couple murky points of the breakup, it's probably logical to deduce that nothing more is going on. If your ex is texting you more often than once or twice and their messages have nothing to do with logistics, it's probable that you should start looking for more signs than meet the eye.

What is the tone of your ex's messages? Are they curious? Semi-flirty? Do their messages remind you of the conversations that the two of you used to have when you were dating? If so, it's a good sign that your ex is missing the connection that the two of you used to share - and their actively working toward continuing it indefinitely - or getting it back for good.

Timing is Everything:

Do you find that the majority of your ex's messages happen after dark - a time that the two of you used to spend together constantly? You probably miss your ex the most when you used to spend the most time together - and they do too. The connection that the two of you shared was powerful for you both, and it's not easy to walk away from it - even if the breakup was their idea.

Drunken texts can easily be another story. These texts are usually sent when your ex is at their most vulnerable, but you have to keep in mind that they're not exactly thinking clearly. Your ex wants to know how you feel, but they can't come right out and ask you - so they try to make you jealous, or say things intentionally to try to get you to react. Try to keep a rational mind about the situation, and don't take the bait.

If your ex is taking the time to text you on the weekend, they're struggling with their social life - or lack of one, more honestly. They may jump at the chance to tell you how amazing everything is going, but it's not - not really. If they were as busy as they'd like you to believe, why are they intentionally taking the time out of their schedule to message you at all - and why would you fall for it without giving it a second's thought?

How Can You Reply?

No matter what you hope to accomplish, your response should be simple - nothing. Don't jump to conclusions and allow your ex to manipulate and control your emotions with a simple snap of the fingers.

If you're hoping to get back together, let them ramble on all they want - but don't feel compelled to jump in and respond right away. Give them some breathing room, and give yourself a chance to cool down before jumping into a conversation where it's often easy to betray your goal and let your ex know exactly where you stand.

What's Next?

As you can see, there are many reasons why your ex is still contacting you. If you are still unsure about how your ex really feels about you, then you should think about looking at the signs your ex likes you. These will give you a huge insight into your ex's behaviour around you, what they say and how they say it.

The contact you have with your ex is also crucial in making them want you again. Make sure that you know how to contact your ex properly to encourage them and create desire and mystery. When you start to look at things from a psychological perspective, you will win your ex back much more easily.

Street Talk

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