This Article is About
methods of communication
method of choice
hidden agenda
face value
loneliness
caution
charity
texts
relationship
cards
Why Is My Ex Still Contacting Me? - The Real Reasons
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Why Is My Ex Still Contacting Me?  -  The Real Reasons

As technology marches onward, so also do the means and methods of communication. Texts have taken over the airwaves and have replaced phone calls as a method of choice for conveying messages between two people. It's possible that you and your ex sent hundreds - if not thousands - of messages while you were still together.

Unfortunately, however, your relationship came to an end, and you assumed that all of those texts would stop as a result. Regardless of what took place during the breakup itself, you probably realized that staying in touch continually was probably not in the cards. You thought that the two of you would probably start to move on with your own lives, and gradually become less of a part of each other's. As you're sitting at home enjoying your ice-cream, however, your phone vibrates - and it's your ex.

Why would your ex text you now? What could they possibly have to say after everything that's happened, and why now? Is this just their way of saying hi, or is there something more that they're after? Is it possible that this text is just the beginning of a new chapter, or should you just take it at face value, and do what you can to move on?

Is there a Reason for Their Messages?

You can bet that your ex isn't just messaging you out of charity or as an innocent way of saying hi. Far from it. Whether or not your ex is ready to admit it - or even realize it themselves, your ex has a hidden agenda if they're willing to reach out after a breakup that they initiated in order to reestablish contact with you.

Don't be surprised to realize that a relationship may not be on your ex's agenda - at least not at the moment. It's more likely that they're trying to figure the situation out themselves. That means that they have to figure out where you stand, what their options are and how they can achieve their own goals - even if those goals are not yet clear. They could also be looking for a brief physical connection to try and alleviate some of their loneliness. That's why caution is a virtue here - and it's wise to not jump to conclusions before the moment is clear.

You can count on a couple cold hard facts that stand out like a sore thumb in the midst of all the uncertainty. Take comfort in the fact that you are a constant theme in your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend's thoughts. These thoughts are the driving force that caused them to reach out in the first place, and continuing contact after dumping someone takes a lot of nerve and cannot be taken for granted. Secondly, your ex is experiencing a consequence of their actions that they didn't put a lot of thought into before. They're missing you. If they thought they could walk away from the relationship without a scratch, they were wrong - and now they're left with a gaping hole inside of them that they probably never saw coming.

How Often is Your Ex Reaching Out?

The first step to trying to solve the riddle of your ex's messages is to discard any messaging that fits in with your current situation. For example, if your ex is asking a reasonable question about where something is, what happened with a joint venture or clear up a couple murky points of the breakup, it's probably logical to deduce that nothing more is going on. If your ex is texting you more often than once or twice and their messages have nothing to do with logistics, it's probable that you should start looking for more signs than meet the eye.

What is the tone of your ex's messages? Are they curious? Semi-flirty? Do their messages remind you of the conversations that the two of you used to have when you were dating? If so, it's a good sign that your ex is missing the connection that the two of you used to share - and their actively working toward continuing it indefinitely - or getting it back for good.

Timing is Everything:

Do you find that the majority of your ex's messages happen after dark - a time that the two of you used to spend together constantly? You probably miss your ex the most when you used to spend the most time together - and they do too. The connection that the two of you shared was powerful for you both, and it's not easy to walk away from it - even if the breakup was their idea.

Drunken texts can easily be another story. These texts are usually sent when your ex is at their most vulnerable, but you have to keep in mind that they're not exactly thinking clearly. Your ex wants to know how you feel, but they can't come right out and ask you - so they try to make you jealous, or say things intentionally to try to get you to react. Try to keep a rational mind about the situation, and don't take the bait.

If your ex is taking the time to text you on the weekend, they're struggling with their social life - or lack of one, more honestly. They may jump at the chance to tell you how amazing everything is going, but it's not - not really. If they were as busy as they'd like you to believe, why are they intentionally taking the time out of their schedule to message you at all - and why would you fall for it without giving it a second's thought?

How Can You Reply?

No matter what you hope to accomplish, your response should be simple - nothing. Don't jump to conclusions and allow your ex to manipulate and control your emotions with a simple snap of the fingers.

If you're hoping to get back together, let them ramble on all they want - but don't feel compelled to jump in and respond right away. Give them some breathing room, and give yourself a chance to cool down before jumping into a conversation where it's often easy to betray your goal and let your ex know exactly where you stand.

What's Next?

As you can see, there are many reasons why your ex is still contacting you. If you are still unsure about how your ex really feels about you, then you should think about looking at the signs your ex likes you. These will give you a huge insight into your ex's behaviour around you, what they say and how they say it.

The contact you have with your ex is also crucial in making them want you again. Make sure that you know how to contact your ex properly to encourage them and create desire and mystery. When you start to look at things from a psychological perspective, you will win your ex back much more easily.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Get Your Ex Back From Another Woman - Keep It Secret
You can't count the number of tears that you've cried or the number of chocolate bars you've consumed. Nothing seems to help. You've been dealt a heavy blow. Not only do you have to try and overturn a breakup, you have to find a way to snatch his attention back…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Aug 26, 2012  
4
  Likes: 3

How to Use the No Contact Rule After a Breakup to Get Her Back
If you've just gone through a breakup with your girlfriend and you're wondering if the no contact rule can help you get her back, there's an exact method in how to use it.  No contact is a simple and effective strategy, but you need to be resilient in sticking to…
By: Max Grimnar in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Sep 27, 2011  
3
  Likes: 3

My girlfriend dumped me how do I get her back? Find the answers here….
Restoring broken relationships can be a daunting task. But with the right tools and tips, it can be much easier. Don’t just survive after a break up, TAKE ACTION!! The free tools and tips I am about to share with you are the very same that saved my marriage! YOU…
By: J.M. Shoar in  Relationships  >  Dating   Dec 12, 2011  
11
  Likes: 3

The Benefits Of Baby Signing
Baby Signing is becoming very popular amongst parents as a way of developing methods of communication with their baby before speech is established. Any parent will recognize a baby's gestures as they attempt to communicate before they have any words. This is due to muscle development, a baby's gross and…
By: Harry Dubois in  Home and Family  >  Babies Toddler   Jun 07, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

The One Mistake You Don't Want To Make With Your Woman
When I think back to the relationship about which I question myself the most, I think of Emily. She was an extraordinarily attractive young lady, like a tom-boy version of Barbie. She was sporty (better than me at many sports), intelligent, quirky and independently minded - an impressive mix. However,…
By: D Rhodes in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jul 18, 2012  
0
  Likes: 3

My Boyfriend Is Asking For Space - What Will I Do?
You thought that everything was going fine in your relationship. Sure, you hit a few bumps in the road but that's to be expected. No relationship is perfect all of the time and it is through hardship that people grow closer together. If your boyfriend has approached you with the…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Aug 24, 2012  
0
  Likes: 3

He Still Cares About Me - What Does This Even Mean?
Have you ever wished that your man came with his own dictionary? You're not alone. Knowing what your guy means is almost impossible to determine by simple words alone. Just take a second and think about it. How many times have you found yourself forwarding a text from your guy…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jul 20, 2012  
0
  Likes: 2

How to Get A Woman to Love You
It’s not as hard as you think. You can learn how to get a woman to love you, by simply learning the art of buying flowers for women, would definitely ensure your esteem in their eyes and ultimately seal the deal. Letting a woman know how much you care for…
By: Afees Alli in  Relationships  >  Communication   May 20, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

What To Say To Your Ex Boyfriend - Leave Him Wanting More!
You've been coming up with lists of things that you want to say to your ex boyfriend ever since you broke up. When the time actually comes, however, you seem to be stumbling over your words and every thought you had went flying out the window. Instead of hanging up…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Communication   Sep 15, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

How To Seriously Impress Your Lover’s Parents
When a serious relationship goes a step further and when you begin to talk marriage, meeting the parents of your partner becomes obvious. As important as it is to meet the parents, it is just as scary. You can be all nerves and sweat trying to make impress the parents1…
By: niks1 in  Relationships  >  Communication   Jan 21, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

How can I tell him its Over? Express yourself through Music
The sounds of Music do more than just make you move on the dance floor. The various sounds, rhythms, and beats music transcends can help someone express the way they feel or simply communicate your most hidden secrets.
By: Mike4 in  Relationships  >  Communication   Feb 12, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How To Save Your Relationship
Separation is difficult for everybody. If you really want to keep your relationship then the smartest thing is to prevent the separation firsthand. Preventing a breakup will save the couple heartbreak and the extended process of healing and reconciliation. More significantly, it can assist in avoiding a lot of harming…
By: karen13 in  Relationships  >  Communication   Oct 27, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

What's it All About?
So, I ask the question but I don't have an answer. It seems as though my writing comes in bursts. I write for my local paper, the Sisters Nugget. It is a weekly that comes out every Wednesday. I mainly cover music events, some sports, and whatever else I dig…
By: Jim Williams in  Relationships  >  Communication   Sep 14, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Ways To Tease A Man
Flirting came easy at the beginning you began dating. Just about all words you articulated, bat of your eyelashes and tilt of your head was some sort of flirting. Whether your purpose was some kind of subtle enticement or absolute playfulness, flirtation was the communication of the day, and what…
By: karen13 in  Relationships  >  Communication   Nov 24, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

How To Handle Communication Breakdowns – When To Stop Trying To Persuade Another
Effective communication can be the bridge between what you want and receiving it. There are many ways to communicate. In the workplace and in your personal life, how skillfully you communicate very likely determines how much satisfaction you experience in your relationships. In conflict, our communication skills are really put…
By: Bob Lancer in  Relationships  >  Communication   Jan 24, 2012  
0
  Likes: 2

Article Views: 1505    Report this Article