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Why Would Your Ex Text You After A Break Up? - The Truth
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Why Would Your Ex Text You After A Break Up?  -  The Truth

When it comes to staying in touch, texting has become the not-so-new normal. It's easier than a phone call or a voicemail, and you can do it with the simple press of a button. In romantic relationships, texts are a convenient way to stay in constant contact - the large majority of couples use texts dozens (if not hundreds) of times every single day.

When you were dumped, however, you naturally assumed that all of those texts would stop in their tracks. Whether your breakup went by without a struggle or it was an epic-sized disaster, it's normal to think that all of the contact between you and your ex would stop as a result.

You thought that you and your ex would each go about your own business, and for the most part would leave each other alone. Nothing could have been more surprising than realizing that your ex had texted you - and your phone suddenly feels like it's been flash-heated as you hold it in your hand.

Why would your ex continue to text you after the breakup? Are they just being polite, or is there something more happening that they're not saying outright? Are they looking to stay friends, or is it possible that they have an ulterior motive lurking under the surface, waiting to be uncovered?

Why are They Messaging You Still?

Now is not the time to become mired in all the "what ifs" and "maybes". It's time to cut to the truth. Getting a text message from your ex after a breakup is hardly innocent - and they're not just trying to reach out and say hello. In fact, the truth is probably anything but. Don't assume that they're ready to put your relationship back on track just yet. It's possible that your ex's motives are not exactly pure. They may be interested in a hookup - or maybe just reopening the lines of communication to lead to something more down the road.

Don't expect your ex to tell you flat-out why they're reaching out, either. They'll probably be more interested in giving you custom-built excuses. Maybe they'll say that they're trying to be friendly. Maybe they'll tell you that they were worried about you. No matter what they say, don't simply accept it and move on like there's nothing more there. The truth goes far deeper, and it is often far harder to come to terms with, for them and for you.

You can accept two facts right off the bat. The first fact is that it's perfectly clear that your ex is missing you. They can't help but to miss you. You've been on their minds constantly ever since they broke up with you.

That leads to the second fact - they have been thinking about you long and hard enough to warrant reaching out and initiating contact themselves. That alone is a pretty big deal, and it's not something that can simply be dismissed because it may make them slightly uncomfortable. Your ex took a huge step outside of their comfort level in order to send that text, and that means that they have more invested in this contact than may originally meet the eye.

Are Their Messages Random or Constant?

There are some possible reasons behind contact that should be considered at face-value, nothing more. These can be distinguished by their frequency. After a breakup, things are often left unresolved. The relationship may be over, but the two of you shared property, time and possibly finances. If your ex texts you a couple of times in regards to a joint account or something similar, it's possible that the have nothing else in mind.

If, however, your ex is texting you frequently and their messages seem to have nothing to do with anything that relates to your breakup or your relationship, there's certainly something more happening underneath the surface. If your ex's text messages remind you more of the way you communicated while you were together, it's safe to say that they have something else in mind - but they may not even recognize what that something else is yet.

When are Their Messages Coming Through?

There are a lot of helpful clues to be uncovered in the times your ex chooses to text you, and these clues can be a lot more helpful than the words in the text themselves. For example, if your ex chooses to text you at night, it's a sign of loneliness. They're used to having someone around for them to talk to, and for the time the two of you spent together, their go-to person has been you. Now that you're gone, their habits are more difficult to distance themselves from than they thought, and that could be a crucial reason why they're choosing to reach out.

Another not-so-sly move on your ex's part is to try and force a reaction out of you. Your ex probably knows that you're in a vulnerable, emotional state - and they can easily feed off of that knowledge if they're feeling a bit insecure. If they text you things that seem to be provoking your sense of jealousy, it's more than likely that it's exactly what they're trying to do. They want to know where they stand to you - and jealousy is often the go-to tool to figure it out.

If your ex spends a lot of time trying to convince you how great their social life has become since ending the relationship, don't believe them for a moment. The first thing that you should realize is that if they're taking the time to text you, or try to carry on full-on conversations with you on the weekends, they're probably not busy with much of anything at all. If they were over you and the relationship entirely, why would they choose to spend their time messaging the person they just ended things with? Why wouldn't they be out there enjoying life to its fullest?

What's Your Best Move?

While it may be hard to keep your emotions and reactions in check, that's exactly what you need to do in order to come out on top of this scenario. While your ex may be looking for a reaction intentionally, any reaction that you give them is likely to be perceived negatively. It's unfair, since they're the ones that initiated contact with you, but that's unfortunately the way that the cookie crumbles in situations like these.

Don't rely on texts if you're trying to get back together with your ex. Be proactive and come up with a feasible, workable plan to put yourself in a better position. If you can prepare yourself in advance and recognize positive actions and know what to say, you can certainly come out on top - and ensure that your ex views your efforts positively without the negative perception or residual doubt.

What's Next?

Do you want to encourage more texts and contact with your ex? If so then you will need to do some things to make it happen. Your responses to your ex can either attract them to you and heighten their desire again, or make them realise that the break up was a good idea and turn them off you for good. You DO NOT want to be in the latter category.

Avoid these break up mistakes completely if you want to make your ex want you again. When you get the psychological techniques right, you can win back your ex in incremental steps. Get started now!

Street Talk

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