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If you're in the unhappy situation of saying "my ex is sleeping with another guy," here are five tips that will help you deal with the pain and get back on the road to reconnecting with her.
1. Accept the jealousy and pain.
Realize that there is nothing you can do about your ex sleeping with another guy. It WILL bother you every time you think about it. However, it will bother you most right after the breakup; with time, it will begin to hurt less.
2. Don't put too much weight on intimacy.
Yes, your ex is being intimate with another guy. But the truth is, sex is not such a big deal as people often make it out to be after a breakup. Your ex does NOT have the intense emotional connection with this new guy that she has with you, a connection that can only be formed after years of knowing and being with someone. So anything she's doing with the new guy pales in comparison to what she has with you.
3. Realize that he's a rebound.
The new guy is, no matter what anyone wants to call it, a rebound relationship. Any time you get out of one relationship and leap right into a new one after a breakup, you're rebounding. It's a natural human instinct and women tend to do it more than men because of the emotional drive that women feel (which is stronger than for most men).
She's just broken up with you, and it's very hard to go from being in an intense relationship with someone to being alone. Therefore, she will find a new guy to be with until she sorts out what she wants (which may be to get back with you).
4. Use this time positively.
Right now, you can focus on figuring out what went wrong with your relationship with your ex. Really look at things with a critical eye and distance yourself from the emotional aspect as much as you can. Was your relationship with your ex as rosy and wonderful as it seems to be now that you're broken up, or were there real flaws that needed to be fixed?
Did you feel a lack of passion in your bond with her? If so, how do you think you could bring that back if she chooses to reconnect with you?
5. Distract yourself.
If all else fails and you absolutely cannot get your mind off the pain of your ex sleeping with another guy, use distractions. Ideally, you'd turn to positive distractions such as exercise (imagine the other guy's head on a punching bag!) or work. Now is a great time to wrap up projects you've been putting off.
If you can't focus on work or exercise, call your friends and have a game night, or even go out to a club or something. But beware of calling/texting your ex after you've had a night of drinking; that can set you back hugely in your attempts to get her back after a breakup.
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