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Deleting Your Ex On Facebook After The Break Up - Should I?
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Deleting Your Ex On Facebook After The Break Up  -  Should I?

When you first break up with someone, it is normal to be completely confused about where to turn, what to say and how to act. This is compounded by the fact that you have to work out the many intricacies of Facebook too. What do you do? Should you delete your ex from Facebook? How long should you wait if this is the case? What will I do about my relationship status? Will deleting your ex on Facebook look childish and rash?

There are a lot of problems that you will have to overcome during the break up process and this is one of them. These questions are normal to ask and you will want to know the answers to them pretty quickly. You don't want to risk making the wrong move as it could blow up in your face, making your ex think that you are crazy.

Times have changed, all you had to do a few years ago was delete your ex's number from your phone and that was that, contact after that was minimal to non existent. Nowadays though you have to contend with all of these social networking sites that connect you and your ex together in the virtual world. If you are hoping to get your ex back in the future though, the choices that you make now could seriously impact upon that. That is why it is best to read up on all of your options and how your actions may look from your ex's perspective.

Staying Friends With Your Ex On Facebook After The Break Up

You have probably thought about this loads already and you are no further forward. Staying Facebook friends with your ex should never have been such an agonizing subject. Well now is time to put this issue to bed and make a definite decision one way or the other. The longer you stress out about something so trivial, the more your ex will notice and it will seep into your Facebook profile. The last thing that you will want them to think is that you are worrying about this issue - that will come off as a tad pathetic.

You have to try to get a fresh perspective on things. Your head is all over the place now and making even tiny decisions can seem impossible. Be realistic about being friends with your ex on Facebook and you will soon find that your problems are not as huge as they first appeared.

Why would you immediately log into Facebook after your break up and delete your ex? Ask yourself that question first and then try to think how that will look to your ex. You would more than likely make this decision out of hurt and be trying to get revenge on your ex in some way. I hate to break it to you, but defriending your ex on Facebook will not teach them a lesson or make them coming running back to you. Actually it can make you look incredibly emotional and childish. They will know exactly why you have done it - to prove some kind of point to them. Your ex might actually think that it is funny and you end up looking like a fool in the process - not great is it?

Do You Want Your Ex Back Or Not?

That is an important question and the answer to that will decide your course of action regarding Facebook. If you want to get on with your life and have no interest in getting back together or staying friends with your ex, then pull the plug and don't worry how your ex sees it. Their opinions shouldn't really matter to you anymore anyway. There is no point in retaining this connection if you are ready to move on, it will only send mixed messages to your ex. If you think that it is the healthiest thing to do and that the relationship made you unhappy, then deleting an ex from Facebook could be your best bet. It will enable you to move on much faster and cleaner.

If you want to get back together with your ex down the line then you have to think carefully about your actions. You want to be able to keep tabs on them without having to come out and ask them or sneak around their friends asking for vital clues. That is why Facebook is perfect for stalking your ex (we all do it, don't worry). Just don't allow this to turn into an unhealthy obsession where you monitor every move they make and read into comments on their wall. That will only drive you mad and confuse you even more. Just realise that un-friending your ex now will shut you out of their life in a big way - are you ready to take that huge leap yet?

What Is The Best Thing To Do Then?

Look at things differently, nothing should really change in Facebook terms anyway after your break up. If you want to give your ex the message that you are wounded, go right ahead and delete them, but this will do nothing for your efforts to get them back in the future. You will soon regret it quickly too. You have just cut your contact with your ex off at its root and there is no way for you to see what they are up to after the break up.

The best thing that you can do right now is NOTHING. That's right, seems lazy doesn't it? How are you going to get your ex back by doing nothing? Well you would be surprised. The thing is that most people make loads of errors in judgement after a break up when emotions are running high. They lash out and say things that they later regret. They act on impulse and in the process their ex begins to see them negatively. You want to avoid all of those mistakes if you can, because your ex will need to see you in a positive light to make them want to get back together with you in the future.

A key way to achieve this is to disappear from Facebook for a while, and every other social network for that matter. If your ex sees that you are constantly online they will assume that you have nothing better to do with your life and that you are pining over them. Try to stop yourself from logging in at all or posting silly comments on your wall. Your ex will only think that it is for their benefit and you will have been rumbled.

Instead get on with your life and make it seem like Facebook is not at all important. If you get this part right your ex will start to wonder where you are and what you are up to. Then they will be forced to get in touch with you to see how you are. If you show your ex that you are not obsessing over what they are doing, they will soon think that you have better things to do with your time and get curious. This is when you start to become a mystery to them again, much like you were before you started going out in the first place - sneaky but effective!

Your Next Steps

Now that you understand the basics of staying friends with your ex on Facebook, you will need to do a lot more work behind the scenes to get your ex back. Firstly though you should be looking out for signs ex has moved on. You don't want to be making a fool of yourself in front of them if they are just not interested anymore. You should also be on the look out for signs ex still loves you. This will show you what is working and where you stand.


Street Talk

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