This Article is About
jealousy
signs of infidelity
little monster
low self esteem
i don t care
insult
viewpoint
number 1
Do You Suffer From Jealousy? 4 Tips That May Help
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Do You Suffer From Jealousy? 4 Tips That May Help

Ah jealousy! The little green bloke with teeth.

Do you suffer from jealousy? It eats its way into your heart, doesn't it? Sleeping can be a problem. You want to check up on your partner all the time. Who's she talking to? Why did he hang up the phone as soon as I appeared?

Here are 4 ways to chase that little monster away. If you're suffering jealousy at the moment, what I'm about to say will sound idiotic.

But Number 1. Provided your partner has never shown signs of infidelity, why not sit down in a nice comfortable chair -- and trust them? As long as they don't know you're jealous, then the only person you're hurting is yourself. If they do lie to you, then they're making fools out of themselves. But remember, too, if they're perfectly innocent, it's one heck of an insult to them not to trust them and they'd have every right to rip into you.

Now, I know this isn't easy, but when they tell you they love you, for goodness sake believe them. If you've been checking on their every move, then stop doing it.

Number 2. Jealousy can be driven by low self-esteem. Not always, but fairly frequently.

"How can they possibly love me?" "Good Lord, I'm not worth a dime."

Have you ever watched a gathering of the glitterati on television? This husband and wife have won an award. She's absolutely gorgeous. But he looks like a mud fence. How in the world did he manage to grab her? you think. Well, you aren't her. You can't climb into her mind. Besides which, you're a man.

Well, do you look like a mud fence? Maybe. Maybe not, but your partner saw something in you that 'clicked' with her. You were drawn to each other. Again, by running yourself down like that, you're insulting your partner. Insulting her choice and her intelligence.

Looked at from another viewpoint, there's always someone bigger, better looking, stronger, younger, richer. I don't care how marvellous you are, there's always someone who can better you. Your partner has seen something indefinable in you that has attracted them to you. After all, why are you attracted to them? Don't keep trying to work it out.

Number 3. Low self-esteem can often be the cause of jealousy, but not always. It works the other way too. Those with very high self-esteem may become insanely jealous, if they feel they should always be the centre of attraction. The problem with this type of person is that often they tend to look upon their partner as property.

"I have a nice pretty toy, and you can't share her."

If they see her talking innocently to another man, then perhaps he's trying to take away his 'nice pretty toy'.

Have you ever thought you might lose her? Here again, our imagination rears its head. But instead of simply imagining her loss and then curling into a crumpled heap, take the bull by the horns, and imagine losing her. How would it make you feel? It wouldn't kill you, so you can work your way through the crisis and come out stronger the other end.

Don't follow your partner around like a puppy. Have a life apart from her. I'm not saying ignore her, but never build your life around any one person.

Number 4. Yet other people go out of their way to make their partner jealous. This is playing games, and just isn't on. Never do this. You're putting your partner through what you most dread, which is hideously unfair. If you're always on about how attractive certain women are at work and how they flirt with you, can you really blame your partner for giving you a dose of your own medicine? And when you whine that she's flirting, she's quite within her rights to turn round and say;

"You were always telling me about these other women. Can you blame me?" There's no rational answer to that.

I do hope that this has helped.


Street Talk

franco1  

Good but not complete thought on your article, love the number four outline, but girls are always guilty in that aspect that one's way we guy's used to punish them for their obsolescence attitude.

Reply
  about 9 years ago
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