This Article is About
thunder bolt
shoe was on the other foot
exes
better chance
forgiveness
wrong way
reconciliation
emotions
carpet
few days
consequences
attempts
relationship
truth
Ex Won't Take Me Back Because I Cheated - What You Are Doing Wrong
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Ex Won\'t Take Me Back Because I Cheated  -  What You Are Doing Wrong

My ex won't take me back because I cheated. If you are experiencing this problem at the moment it can be very frustrating because you just want to put everything right and go back to how things were. The problem is that you can't. It is not realistic to expect your ex to forgive you immediately and sweep your cheating under the carpet. You knew that this wouldn't be the case either. Would you forgive and forget that quickly if the shoe was on the other foot? Probably not.

You have likely been making a lot of mistakes after the thunder bolt of cheating hit your ex. It is normal to go about rescuing a relationship in the wrong way because we act on impulse and emotions. Instead of jumping in and hoping for the best you have to understand some things first. Do not keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and hoping for a different outcome. Below are the most common mistakes that people make with their exes after cheating. Examine them and alter your behaviour accordingly, then you will have a much better chance of getting your ex to trust you again.

Not Giving Your Ex Space

The truth is that you are going to have to give your ex some time to get their head around the cheating. You can't just wade in and expect forgiveness a few days later. Your ex needs this time to think about what has just happened, grieve for your relationship and figure out what just happened. Pushing your ex into a reconciliation will only pressure them into making a decision that they are not ready to make. This could have dire consequences for both of you.

You may think that rushing in and declaring your love and regret is the way to go. You want to show your ex that you are willing to fight for them and that the cheating meant nothing. This is all well and good, but your ex does not want anything to do with you right now, they are seething and hurt. Any attempts to cajole your ex into getting back together at this stage will only backfire and you could end up losing them for good.

Instead you need to take a step back and start to see things from your ex's perspective. How would you feel if your ex cheated on you? The last person that you would want to see is the one who hurt you, in fact you want to get as far away from them as possible. You need to respect your ex's need for space right now, not smother them with apologies - your words will seem empty to them anyway.

Regurgitating All The Gory Details Of The Affair

Whether it was a drunken kiss or a full blown affair, your ex will not want you to go over exactly what happened in minute detail. They may ask you to tell them and say that they have a right to know, but how on earth will this help them? They are hurting already and their imaginations are doing overtime trying to figure out what you did when you cheated. Of course you will have to be honest here, but going into detail will do none of you any favours, it will only make your ex see red and wreck your chances of a reconciliation.

Spare your ex any of the intimate details and you spare your ex further hurt and upset. Answer their questions as best as you can (they will probably have a lot) but be mindful of what you say. Use your common sense here, you don't want to end up ruining your ex's self esteem when they already feel pretty rotten about themselves anyway.

Blaming Your Ex For The Fact That You Cheated

This may seem like a no brainer, but in the heat of an argument things can slip out that you never meant to say. Hold your tongue as best as you can. Maybe your relationship had its weaknesses and you were unhappy. That does not excuse the fact that you cheated though. No matter how bad your relationship was prior to your cheating, it does not give you the right to be unfaithful and you probably know this deep down. Instead of doing the dirty on your partner you should have taken the mature route and sat down and discussed why you were unhappy in the relationship. This would have saved all of this mistrust and hurt that you are experiencing now.

In all honesty there is no one to blame but yourself for the cheating. You made the decision so you have to deal with the aftermath yourself rather than projecting the blame onto your ex. Your ex has enough anger and resentment to deal with here. They do not need to hear that they pushed you into sleeping with someone else. That will just make them think that you do not realise what you have really done and that you are not genuinely sorry for your actions. Getting back together after this will be almost impossible.

Continuing To See The Other Person

Eeek! What are you thinking? Your ex wants to know that you have no more contact with the person that you cheated on them with. It is only reasonable to assume that you would nip any contact in the bud if you are serious about giving your relationship another chance. Your ex will want to see that you mean what you say and that you will do anything to make them feel secure and happy again. If they know that you are continuing some kind of covert communication with this person they will doubt your sincerity and become distressed and paranoid.

You should not want this person in your life either, it makes things way too complicated and will always be a bone of contention with your ex. For your ex to forgive you you will have to put your words into action and allay any fears that they may have. If they know that you are still in contact with this person or have to see them, they will ultimately feel that temptation will always be there and that you are liable to cheat again. This temptation has to be removed before you can hope to regain your ex's trust.

You might be guilty of one or two of these things and this is impeding your chances of getting back together. Try to put yourself in your ex's position and see where they are coming from. This will make it much easier to know where you have been going wrong and enable you to put things right. You will have to be patient here, but if you are serious about fixing your relationship, giving your ex time is not that hard to do.

Your Next Steps

To get your ex back after cheating you will have to come up with a solid plan of action to ensure success. The best thing is to plant seeds in your ex's head and make your ex miss you. If they do not miss you then there is no hope of getting back together.

You also have to be on the lookout for signs ex still loves you, this will give you a much better idea of what your chances are and how your ex currently feels about you. Your ex is hardly likely to admit their true feelings in light of the cheating, but there are ways to figure out how they really feel.


Street Talk

Thanks  

OMG,i dont just know how to express this am so happy for getting back my love who left me for 4years this lady has done alot in my life, and i love her so much because she brought in light into my life and we both live together in love and in happiness one day she just came and told me that she is no longer interested in me, i was so surprised because i never did anything wrong to her but i decided to pleaded with her but she insisted not be with me again, i loved her so much and i promised not to leave because this lady is like a blessing to my life, so i have been looking for how to get her back, i have been contacting some fake spell casters who happened to be scams,but on a faithful day i was watching my television and i saw a man named harry giving testimony how dr okpa helped him i was so surprised immediately i took dr okpa's phone number and i called him and told him how i got his number and i need help too,then i told him my problems he just laughed over it and told me that she will come back to me within 24hours as long i have contacted him,i did not doubt him at all because what i saw made me believed him, and i believed he can help me too then i decided to wait, in the next 24hours which he told me i got a call from her pleading to me for forgiveness i was so surprised, and i was happy too,now we are together in love again and in happiness,my friends out there sooner i will be say this in radio station for people to know about him the more because this man is great. if you need his help you can contact him via okpatempleofsolution@gmail. com or cell number +2348056563186. Name:Hudson Country:usa

Reply
  about 6 years ago
Thanks  

OMG,i dont just know how to express this am so happy for getting back my love who left me for 4years this lady has done alot in my life, and i love her so much because she brought in light into my life and we both live together in love and in happiness one day she just came and told me that she is no longer interested in me, i was so surprised because i never did anything wrong to her but i decided to pleaded with her but she insisted not be with me again, i loved her so much and i promised not to leave because this lady is like a blessing to my life, so i have been looking for how to get her back, i have been contacting some fake spell casters who happened to be scams,but on a faithful day i was watching my television and i saw a man named harry giving testimony how dr okpa helped him i was so surprised immediately i took dr okpa's phone number and i called him and told him how i got his number and i need help too,then i told him my problems he just laughed over it and told me that she will come back to me within 24hours as long i have contacted him,i did not doubt him at all because what i saw made me believed him, and i believed he can help me too then i decided to wait, in the next 24hours which he told me i got a call from her pleading to me for forgiveness i was so surprised, and i was happy too,now we are together in love again and in happiness,my friends out there sooner i will be say this in radio station for people to know about him the more because this man is great. if you need his help you can contact him via okpatempleofsolution@gmail. com or cell number +2348056563186. Name:Hudson Country:usa

Reply
  about 6 years ago
You May Also Like
Two Weeks In Germany 1991
In 1990 I received orders to PCS over to RAF Alconbury, England, UK. This base was about and hour from London, and around fifty miles from RAF Lakenheath. I was assigned to the 509th Aircraft Generation Squadron, and assigned the A-10A Thunder Bolt II tail number 81-1990, and given responsibility…
By: Rodney L Stanley in  Travel and Leisure  >  Outdoors   May 22, 2012  
0
  Likes: 2

My Ex Won't Return My Calls - The Real Reasons
If you are facing a breakup that wasn't your idea, knowing what to do to reverse the process can be a difficult challenge to begin with. This challenge is even more difficult when your ex seems unwilling to communicate. Without open and honest communication it is impossible to repair the…
By: Isabella Rose in  Relationships  >  Communication   Nov 10, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Get Your Ex Back – Is Your Ex Leading You On?
So you and you love have been broken up for a month now, you have prepared yourself to expect for everything to be different. However, you find yourself still flirting and doing stuff with your ex as if you guys are still together. You got your mind working over time…
By: Gretchell in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Sep 13, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

To Let Go Or Not to Let Go: Why is This A Question?
If you have occasion to do so, please go and read the profiles of any guy on any dating site and you will see the same sentiment expressed. They do not want anyone who is still "hung up" on an ex. No one who is working through ex related issues…
By: amie nogrady in  Relationships  >  Dating   Jan 15, 2013  
5
  Likes: 0

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Through Texting - Here's How
The heartache that is often experienced when a break up occurs in a relationship is often unbearable. It gets worse especially if your relationship was special and you loved each other truly. As much as you might want to remove all reminders of your ex, there is always that part…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jul 19, 2012  
92
  Likes: 11

Signs Your Ex Is Still In Love With You - Spot Them Here
Knowing whether or not your ex has feelings for you is a good place to start on your journey of getting them back. There is no point in rushing in headfirst if you don’t know how they really feel about you - that could end up incredibly embarrassing and upsetting.…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Love   Nov 07, 2012  
1
  Likes: 3

Why Won't My Ex Take Me Back? - Maybe You're Making These Mistakes
Maybe you are sitting there confused about why your ex wont take you back. You have tried everything short of outright begging and nothing seems to be working - your ex isn't budging. This can be extremely frustrating and hurtful especially if you want to give things another go and…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Apr 26, 2013  
0
  Likes: 3

Forget Your Past For A Bright Future
I hear from a lot of guys that constantly bring up their past as a reason and excuse for not being successful in the dating world today. I hear them blame their exes for the reasons why they are how they are currently. Or just generally blame their past circumstances…
By: Romeo in  Relationships  >  Dating   Jul 30, 2012  
1
  Likes: 0

How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Miss You - Proven Techniques
Want your ex-girlfriend back? It’s not as hard as it seems to make your ex girlfriend miss you. All you’ve got to do is apply some techniques and self-control and she’ll be begging to take you back. So, stop hanging around and read our proven techniques below. Take the first…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Sep 19, 2012  
26
  Likes: 35

I Work With My Ex Boyfriend - How To Handle It
Although professionals advise not to become romantically involved with others in the workplace, I think it's something that happens to many of us. After all, we spend most of our time at work, and when we meet a guy there that we like, at least we know that he has…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jul 20, 2012  
0
  Likes: 10

Does My Ex Still Love Me? - Look Out For These Clues
Your ex is hot and cold with you and you want to know "does my ex still love me?". Sometimes they tell you that they miss you and drop hints that they may still hold a torch for you, other times they seem so disinterested in you that you couldn’t…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Love   Nov 07, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Make Your Ex Attracted to You Again - Here Are the Most Critical Things You Should Keep In Mind
After losing a lover, sometimes all you want is to be able to get them back again. The trouble is, it's hard to know what to do when all you know is that your ex says they don't want to be with you anymore. Even if that's the case, you…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Oct 31, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Tricks to Get Him Back - These Steps Will Make the Process Extremely Easy For You
You've just gone through a breakup. People tell you that it'll get easier with time, but that doesn't help. All you know is that you want your ex back in your life, and you want things to go back to the way they were as soon as possible. What tricks…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Oct 23, 2012  
0
  Likes: 3

How to Win Him Back After A Break Up – Now You Can Left Your Terrible Break Up Pain
Breaking up is never easy to do. If you're coping with the aftermath of a crumbling relationship, all you probably want to know is how you can turn back time, see your ex again, and win him back. The trouble is, your emotional state after a breakup can leave you…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Oct 25, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

If Not Money, Why Do I Work
That poses an interesting question. I have wondered of late why it is that I am still putting myself out there. There has to be a reason other than money. Sure that’s important but I could get by without working. So why don’t I quit? For me it’s a variety…
By: John Stewart in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Mar 13, 2012  
2
  Likes: 2

Article Views: 1832    Report this Article