Breaking up with your girlfriend can be devastating, frustrating, and painful. But thinking there is no hope to get back together can make things even worse. You need to have some hope, and you also need to have a plan.

Once you believe in yourself, and believe that hope does exist, the next question will be, "Ok, now what's the best way to get my ex girlfriend back?"

Here is the 2 part answer to that question:

1. Be Calm and Strong. This is very important, please do not gloss over this! This is the exact mindset you need to be in if you want to get your girlfriend back. Calm and strong. The number one mistake that guys make is that they become desperate and annoying. The ex girlfriend wants nothing to do with desperate and annoying. It drives you away even farther from her. Being calm and strong allows you to get back together with your girl as quickly and effectively as possible.

2. You HAVE TO go in with a PLAN. Now there is no "one size fits all" plan that will work for every guy because everyone's relationship is different. But, there are general plans that you can follow, and apply to your situation, which will work magic. The main thing is to have a plan. Either formulate a plan of action on your own, or get help to put together a good plan that you can execute smoothly, effectively, and as quickly as possible. There are a few very effective online "get ex back" type of programs that really do work extremely well. Now a plan does NOT consist of trying one tactic and that's it. This is an example of what a GOOD plan will look like:

• Contact your ex using method #1 (could be texting, or email, whatever you feel works best based on your relationship)
• If initial contact IS positive then initiate follow up tactic #2. If initial contact is negative, then allow 24-48 hours to pass and re-group with a different tactic (which will be a less committal, easy initiation that you can virtually guarantee you will get a response to, which will be huge in bringing communication back to the front and center).

This is the start of a good plan. Notice that it is NOT just a one attempt model. There are backup tactics. If one thing doesn't work, you smoothly switch to a different tactic. You can make this switch because you are acting calmly and strongly, and have a positive sense of HOPE . From here you will continue on to the point of meeting up with your ex, and from there you will carefully and systematically become a couple once again.

Putting together a good plan to get back with an ex entails sitting down and writing out your actions, and maintaining a positive outlook. Remember to be flexible and not rely on a one shot only approach. To maintain a positive outlook, it helps tremendously to read a good positive thought/self help book focused on taking on relationship challenges. Visiting a relationship blog which focuses on how to cope with recent break ups, and enlisting the help of family and friends for moral support while you go through the challenges of trying to rekindle your relationship with your ex, are also very helpful options. The more positive your outlook is on the situation, the better armed you will be to formulate a solid plan and execute it as smoothly as possible.