This Article is About
time and patience
new girlfriend
advice columns
natural ability
right off the bat
good times
emotions
feelings
match
relationship
He Has Found Someone Else Already - What Will I Do?
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

He Has Found Someone Else Already  -  What Will I Do?

You thought you knew exactly what you were doing. You read all the advice columns and you knew the process behind getting an ex-boyfriend back. You knew that he would have to start missing you first. You knew that you had to remind him off all the good times you shared and to let him know how much he meant to you. Now it seems like your intentions may have been in vain. You heard from a friend of a friend that he's already found someone else. He's been going out with someone else, and he seems happy - for now. The normal techniques won't work now - or will they?

The truth is that you're going to need a little something extra to win an ex back when he has found someone else. An already difficult process is compounded by the added complication of contending with someone else. You have a lot of difficult steps that need to be tackled one at a time to not only break his current infatuation as well as rekindling his interest in you as a match. In the end, this is going to require some clever ploys but you have a lot of tricks up your sleeve and you're prepared for a fight.

One of your key advantages here is your natural ability to pull out all the stops. While you don't want to come right out and admit that you're willing to play with your ex's emotions and pit his residual feelings for you against the new ones he's developing for his new girlfriend, you do recognize that special circumstances require some unique solutions. You'll need to reconnect and open the lines of communication but due to his new relationship you can't do it out in the open. This requires time and patience while your ex figures out if you're someone that truly can be trusted - otherwise opening up will be next to impossible.

Initially you have to put your patience into practice in a way that is going to be hard. When you look at their relationship and how close they seem to be getting you'll want to throw a wrench in the process right off the bat but if you go that route you're only going to end up frustrated. Relationship super-glue is strongest in the beginning stages as they're reveling in the beginning of something new. You're not going to be able to break that apart now.

The best thing you can do for everyone is to take a few steps back and give them that time. Once the shiny newness has started to fade, your ex-boyfriend is going to be much more open to the possibility of reconnecting with you, although he'll be wary at first. You need to be convincing and give him the impression that you're over your relationship with him. Then he'll start to let you in, rather than be concerned that you're going to work to undermine his new relationship.

You're not just going to strand his new relationship; you're going to scuttle it. But that will come later on.

While keeping an eye on the prize is certainly important, it is equally important to understand that the steps that lead you there are an equal and integral part of the process. Before you can start imagining your life a few years down the road complete with white picket fence, you need to put an end to the contact break and reach out.

Knowing how to contact him initially is tricky in order to avoid any drama on the part of his new girlfriend. Think of a good (and believable) excuse to send him a quick message via email. When you're crafting your masterpiece remember that less is more and make it something that he needs to respond to - like a question or comment. When he does email you back, you can start to move the conversation forward - slowly and surely but steadily in the right direction.

You get the chance to recreate the bond between you and your ex in a way that limits the risk - his girlfriend won't know what's going on behind the scenes. If she comes up in conversation, make sure that he's the one bringing her up and don't ask questions. He's going to be curious to see your reaction and acting impartially is a key part of your strategy. If you lean towards any negativity at all, he's going to be on edge and think that you're acting like a jealous ex - don't give him the ammunition he's looking for to stick you in the "friend zone" and limit your possibilities completely.

At this point you can start realistically expecting that things will begin to progress. Emails may cease being sufficient forms of contact for your ex and he may reach out via a phone call or a few texts - but only when he's got some time alone. Don't give him the impression that you're just waiting by the phone - if you're available to talk, pick it up and be sincerely glad to talk. You want to make these conversations as pleasant as possible for both of you and start establishing a mutual comfort level, building an underlying bond between you.

If your ex-boyfriend starts spilling the beans about all his new girlfriend's bad habits you may literally have to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from responding in kind. It is absolutely critical that you not give in to the temptation to match his complaints word for word. He's relying on you as a "friend" that he can turn to. You don't want him to get defensive if he thinks you're attacking his relationship or his current girlfriend.

When it comes time to see each other in person means that you're almost at the finish line. Your first few meetings may have a few moments of tension or awkwardness - it's probably been awhile. Remind him that you're still the same girl that he fell for and put your best face forward. Try to keep your conversations upbeat and enjoyable and let him talk about his life and what he's into. By encouraging him you are allowing him to recognize that he's comfortable spending time with you again - and it's not just something that he felt over the phone.

After the first couple meetings things may start to move faster. Just relax and let things take their natural course. It will be better for both of you to remember to breathe and slow down - there's no rush and you've waited far too long to get to this point without risking it all on a whim.

Timing is everything. In order to know when the time is right to strike you need to watch the way your ex-boyfriend acts instead of going by what he says. There are tell-tale signs that are evident through body language and nonverbal communication that speak louder than words ever could. When he starts letting you know that he's open to the possibility, return his signals in turn. All of a sudden a moment will turn into a firestorm of electricity and these will only be intensified by the fact that he's still in a relationship with someone else.

Your Next Steps

Now you know the basics, it is time to step things up a gear. To reconcile with him you need to start using get him back techniques that are so powerful he wakes up to his mistake and does everything he can to get you back.

One of these techniques is making him want you back, until this happens he will not give up his new relationship for anyone. You also should clue into how he actually feels about you. If there are any feelings there he will be showing signs he still likes you.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
What If You Cheated on Your Wife And She Will Not Talk to You
Getting back with your ex is always a difficult task when cheating is involved. I'm sorry to have to meet you in these type of circumstances, but lets look at what we can do to get your wife talking to you again and avoid divorce.... The first thing you need…
By: J.M. Shoar in  Relationships  >  Marriage   Jan 10, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Texas Holdem - How to Start Out In the Poker World
Imagine playing a card game for a living? Well with the game Texas Holdem on such an up-rise this is quite possible. like anything though it is going to take a lot of time and patience. In this article I am going to explain the ups and downs of Texas…
By: steven4 in  Gaming  >  Computer Games   Jun 17, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

I Would Never Buy Twitter Followers
If you are using the Internet to make money, and you regularly post to Twitter, you may have considered buying Twitter followers. There are several sites that offer various follower packages. You pay a given price for a package, and with that package, you get a certain number of followers…
  Likes: 1

When We Recovered From An Affair,we Will Be In A New Normal
If you think that what I write is an overdramatization of infidelity than you have a very long way ahed of you. It will be a long journey with a lots of bumps in the road. It will be the rollercoaster of a lifetime. An affair changes who you are…
By: aniko in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Sep 19, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Relationship After Cheating - How To Rebuild Your Relationship As Quickly As Possible
Is there even a chance of your relationship after cheating surviving? It really boils down to the two people invovled in the relationship. If you both are not willing or able to forgive and forget, than in all likeihood it will not work out between you both. Once lost, trust…
By: Garry2 in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Jan 17, 2012  
1
  Likes: 2

Online Trading Investing
If you would like to try online trading investing, you need to think out of the box and take action but based on informed choices. Maybe you have been disappointed by many online investing programs such as high yield invest programs and other Forex and option trading schemes pedaled by…
By: Lawrence Kiragu in  Investing  >  Day Trading   Jun 16, 2012  
0
  Likes: 2

Bichon Frise Adoption
Is Bichon Frise Adoption Right For You? If you are considering a Bichon Frise adoption there's a few keys things to consider. Obviously, you want to be sure you have given the idea a lot of thought, and you are ready to make a serious commitment of your time and…
By: Carrie Cassidy in  Pets  >  Dogs   Feb 19, 2013  
2
  Likes: 1

Save Your Insanity, Work AT Home!
It can literally be insane to work a lot of hours with no appreciation. Have you ever had those moments at work where you just wanted to pull your hair out? Are you at the end of your rope and there is nothing else to give? Well say no more,…
By: Professor.Workathome in  Home Based Business  >  Network Marketing   Nov 30, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

The Significance Of Internet Marketing - Propel Your Business Ventures Forward!
The significance of internet marketing can't be overdone. Whether your business ventures are offline or online, comprehending the conceptions of internet marketing will assist you to move your business enterprise to broader levels. The beneficial things are that a lot of the formulas you are able to apply online are…
  Likes: 0

Tips for Making Healthy Drinks
There is a lot of writing on juicing in the press lately. The health benefits of getting freshly squeezed fruit and vegetables juice in your body is tremendous. When you decide to make the transition in your and your family's life, it is necessary to give time for those changes…
By: Piroska Varga in  Health and Fitness  >  Nutrition   Aug 18, 2013  
13
  Likes: 21

How To Really Lose Weight Without Dieting
It's a question that most of us have if we've been on one diet after another for many years and are looking to become naturally slim - how to really lose weight without going on yet another diet? I think it is important to give yourself a break first of…
By: Joanne Mayhead in  Health and Fitness  >  Weight Loss   Sep 03, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

3 Strategies to Enjoy Playing Piano
Playing the piano can be one of the most enjoyable instruments to play. It is the most used instrument in any bands and the acoustic sounds often pleases the ear. Whether young or old, any people at any age can entertain themselves and others. Evolving ever since the harpsichord was…
By: John007 in  Arts and Entertainment   Mar 30, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Save Your Relationship, Or Find Out If Its Even Possible
I'll have to start this off with an apology. I'm sorry. The fact that you are reading this must mean that you are having difficult times in your relationship. I know that can be very difficult. If you want to know how to save your relationship, I have some tried…
By: Julie Tamberson in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   May 24, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

10 Quotes to Make You Happy
After a hard day of work, many of us need a cup of joe or a few glasses of happy juice (aka beer) to help us relax. But it's pretty interesting to see people going through their day while constantly being faced with vein-popping stress and not even touching the…
By: Jordan Haygood in  Self Improvement  >  Personal Growth   Dec 26, 2011  
1
  Likes: 2

Storage In the Off Season
It's almost that time. The dreaded non riding season (well for the northern American states anyway). The weather is about to become unpredictable, cold, rainy, windy (hurricane season) and most people will be putting away their "toys" (vs horses) for a few months. This is when you find out who…
By: Kenny DuBose, Jr in  Automotive  >  Motorcycles   Sep 06, 2013  
0
  Likes: 1

Article Views: 2303    Report this Article