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Healing After A Break Up
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Healing After A Break Up

I have always noticed that every time a relationship breaks up, one individual suddenly jumps into another relationship. When the first relationship falls apart, and without any thought, they begin another relationship. It's like a cycle. They never took the time to heal from the first relationship that didn't work out. Not only that, but they bring their baggage from the previous relationship into a new one. This is the reason why the new partner gets blamed for something that the previous partner did, even when they had nothing to do with it. The process of healing from a broken relationship is often not dealt with appropriately.

There are a few reasons as to why people jump from one relationship to the next. One reason is because they don't like to be alone as they have always been with someone. The thought of being alone scares them as they wouldn't know what to do with themselves. The other reason is because they like the sense of being with someone .They have someone to talk to. They have company when they want to go out. If they didn't have a partner, they would find something to keep them occupied. It could be a phobia of being alone. For something like that, they should seek professional help.

It's okay to heal

After being in a very long relationship, even a short one, its best to heal from it before going into a new relationship. If you have been the one who was hurt, then you really need to heal. If you don't take the time to heal, not only will you hold grudges against the person that hurt you, but you will also label all men or even women as being the same. You will feel like they all are no better than the one that hurt you, and that is not fair to the ones that are good. How do I know this, because I was that individual that held a grudge? As a result of all the hurt I endured, I labelled every man as being the same. After talking to other women that have experienced what I went through, they let me know that not all men are the same. They told me that there are some good men out there, and I do agree.

How do you heal from a bad relationship? The first thing you need to do is take responsibility for the part you played in the break up. The next thing you need to do is take a good look at yourself. Look in a mirror and ask yourself, what is it about men or even women that I don't like - When you do this, be very honest with yourself, because if you are not honest, it will not work. Once you find out what it is that you like or dislike, begin work on changing. The best place to start is with your heart.

If you have hate, bitterness, hold grudges, or don't know how to let go, you have to work on that first. Do not rush into trying to change because it's not going to happen overnight. It is a process. Do I know how long the process is? No, it’s different with every person. It's up to you. You have to want to do it. One thing I noticed is that, if you don't want to change for the better, then every relationship you enter into, will not work out because you will be doing the same things repeatedly. If you want your next relationship to work out, begin to work on yourself first.

Leave the Baggage Behind

So now that you have examined yourself, made some changes in your life for the better, you are now ready to go back to dating. When you have found that special person that you chose to be with, leave the baggage of your past relationship behind. You cannot bring that into your new relationship. That's a big no. When you bring your baggage into your new relationship, effectively what you are doing is using what you went through in your past relationships and comparing it to your new relationship. Eventually, you will wind up being alone again. A man, or even a woman do not like to be compared to the people you have dated in the past. They are not those you dated. They are different people. If you do that, then it means that you have not completely healed from the breakups of your previous relationships. If you don't stop, they will eventually get tired of it and leave. You will soon find yourself alone again.

Something to Remember When Being In a Relationship

One thing that I have learned when it comes to being in a relationship is that it's not about money, it's not about materialistic things, and it's not about the look, but it is what is inside the heart. If the heart is filthy, the person cannot love others, nor can they love themselves. They have to love themselves before they can love others. What that entails is searching the heart, taking out everything that does not belong there. Whatever it is that is causing you to not be able to love yourself, you have to deal with that first. Once you deal with that, then you can begin to learn how to love others. The other thing is, not looking at a person for their looks or what they have. Only then will the relationship work. Don't get me wrong, don't think a person will not have flaws, yes they will, you just have to learn how to deal with them if you can. No one is perfect. You have flaws as well and they have to deal with them. Compromise and communication is the key to it all. Good luck in your relationships.


Street Talk

Good job! Indeed, forgiveness is a healing gift we give ourselves. It's applicable in every relationship and in every situation we find ourselves in.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Yess you are right. You have to forgive them, but leave them alone.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Hey very nice article, I think men do have that basic similarity, but hopefully they are different in ways that count.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

men need to take the time to heal from a relationship as well.

Reply
  about 9 years ago
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