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herpes virus
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How And When To Tell Someone You Have Herpes
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If you have herpes you know how delicate if feels to talk about it. Dating is even more scary for you because you feel like you have the plague. It's so common that there are even dating sites out there for those who have the Herpes Virus. While this is a good thing I suppose, I don't think you should feel you have to limit yourself to only those who share the gift that keeps on giving. I think that's like the biblical days when they separated the lepers. What are the chances of the love of your life also having Herpes? Not so great I would guess.

So when to tell someone you have Herpes. If you don't have it, you will probably say, oh the first date. "I have a right to know". That's all fine and well, but understand this is a very personal thing. Those that have Herpes have been conditioned by society to feel great shame in having such a virus. If there is something you feel great shame about, do you talk about it on the first date? I doubt it.

To tell someone you have Herpes, there has to be a degree of trust. Ask the woman or the man who has made the mistake of telling the wrong partner about this. The partner then shares this with everyone and their brother and the person who trusted enough to share suffers great humiliation. If you don't think this happens, think again. Then there is the partner who seems to understand, only to later use it as a weapon to wound, bringing it up in fights etc.... It's enough to make a Herpes infected person not want to date at all.

If you are just going on a date and don't know if the relationship will or will not progress, revealing at this point may not be necessary. After all, there may be no spark and it may not move forward, therefore, spilling may be pointless. If you are a woman and the man keeps moving forward, asking you on dates, calling and truly investing into getting to know you, then it's time. If you are a man and the woman continues to accept dates and is enthusiastic to hear from you, this when to tell someone you have Herpes.

Waiting to long to tell someone you have Herpes is not a good idea. They more than likely will become upset that you didn't tell them earlier and feel you did not give them a choice. It's important to be straightforward and give your partner a choice, even if you don't like that choice.

As far as how to tell someone you have Herpes, just state the facts, calmly and in a softer voice tone. People tend to listen more when you lower your voice. Explain that it can be controlled. Encourage and answer any questions and above all, don't expect an answer immediately. Be willing to give your partner time to process this information. Talking about Herpes should not be that difficult. When you talk about Herpes, view it as a chance to share and actually bond with your partner. It is a very revealing time. You may find out in the 10 minutes it took to have this conversation, what might take others months and months to know about their partner.

Herpes is not the end of the world and if you are reading this, I hope that you feel no shame in it. It's actually a great tool for weeding out those partners in life that aren't willing to see you for who you really are. May I mention also that the shallow minded won't make it with you, and that can't be a bad thing. Herpes in some ways is not a curse, but a blessing.


Street Talk

Sant Mali  

hi robin,, great stuff here..

Reply
  about 7 years ago
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