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negative vibes
successful relationships
drama queen
spending time
ordeal
boredom
crises
turmoil
scenarios
rocks
pleasure
perspective
How Can I Get Back Together With My Boyfriend?
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How Can I Get Back Together With My Boyfriend?

After a break up you have to face up to the fact that something in your relationship was wrong enough to make your boyfriend leave. This is a hard thing to swallow, and it is tempting to try and blame him for the failure. But remember that the only thing you have the power to change is yourself, so looking at your own part in the breakup will give you something positive to work on.

Successful relationships are ones that show give and take on both sides. For it to work, both of you need to be getting your needs met, so try and look at it from your boyfriend’s perspective and see what it was he found lacking. Step back and take a long cool look at your relationship and why it went wrong. The more clearly you can understand the problems, the more chance you have of making the changes that will help to solve them.

Men are often lazy about relationships and just let them jog along, but there are some common things which can damage a relationship and make a man pull away.

  • If you do not give enough to a relationship it will run aground on the rocks of boredom. When a relationship goes stale, being single again starts to look more attractive as it offers the possibility of change.
  • If you are too possessive and needy, a man will feel claustrophobic and stifled, and decide he needs to break out. Don’t be the kind of girl who needs to be with her boyfriend 24/7; instead have you own things to do so that you are both happy spending time apart.
  • If you are a bit of a drama queen, then your boyfriend may find that your daily crises are starting to wear him down. A man wants to feel good when he is with you, and if your life is in constant turmoil then you will be setting up lots of negative vibes. Eventually he will come to see being with you as an ordeal rather than a pleasure.

So look back honestly and ask yourself if any of these scenarios is relevant to your breakup. You need to be clear-eyed with yourself about what it was that drove him away. Where there are issues that were your fault, you have the chance to change your behaviour.

Of course people are not perfect and there are likely to be faults on both sides, but if your boyfriend left you then the harsh truth is that there was something you did or didn’t do that drove him away. You have to acknowledge that there was a reason why he left, so that you can work on being able to take that reason away.

If the biggest problem between you is something you are responsible for then – be encouraged, because your behaviour is something you can change. Leave aside the issues that relate to him for now and think realistically about how and whether you are able to change enough to remove the stresses and strains which have driven you apart.

Remember that you need more than just good intentions to repair a broken relationship. You won’t get a second chance at making up, so be very sure that the necessary changes are things that you really can follow through with and make into reality. You have to be comfortable with what your boyfriend wants from you, and it must ‘fit’ easily with the person you really are. Otherwise you will never be able to sustain it.


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