You broke up with your boyfriend and it broke his heart. You never meant to hurt him but the relationship just wasn't working for you. You thought it would be better to end it now rather than dragging things on and on. Now he's hurting and you're having a hard time forgiving yourself for being the cause of his pain. How do you forgive yourself for breaking his heart?
Forgiving yourself is one of the most difficult lessons people have to learn. It's even harder though when you need to forgive yourself for something that was an unintended consequence of your actions. You know that your feelings had changed and that you were no longer in love with your boyfriend. You believed you were making a choice that would be less harmful in the end rather than drawing things out. But still you managed to hurt him and you don't know how you could have ended things any better without causing him the same pain in the end.
It's not an easy place to be but there are things you can do that will help you forgive yourself for breaking his heart. The first things you need to do is realize that sometimes what is best for you isn't what is wanted by the other person. That doesn't mean that it's wrong or even that you should feel guilty over it. In fact, staying with him when you don't love him will only cause him more pain down the road than what he is going through now. Sometimes it really is best to make the tough decision now in order to save yourself and your boyfriend even greater pain in the future. Even if you end up changing your mind in the future and decide what you really want is to get your ex back it's best to do what your heart is telling you now and there is no need to feel guilt over that.
But here's what you need to do to forgive yourself for breaking your boyfriend's heart.
1) Accept that sometimes it's better to cause a little hurt now rather than a lot more hurt later. You were doing what you thought was best for you by ending things now. To draw it out will only lead to a world of hurt and countless bad feelings between you in the future. 2) Be as gentle as possible when dealing with him. There are all kinds of things in life we realize after the fact could have been handled better. Don’t allow running into your ex while you're out and about be among those. Be as gentle as possible when dealing with him in the future in order to avoid even more guilty feelings. 3) Don't give him false hope. No matter how much you think the guilt will overwhelm you don't try to make him feel better or apologize for breaking up. Don't make him feel like you still have a chance if you know you do not.
On the other hand, if your guilt is tinged with a hint of regret and a whole world of second thoughts then maybe you should be looking for ways to make it up to him and even win him back instead? It's not too late to work things out and make your relationship work as long as you stand strong and don't allow your guilt to consume you.
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