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How Do You Make A Relationship Work - Tips For Inexperienced Women
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How Do You Make A Relationship Work  -  Tips For Inexperienced Women

If you're new to the dating world, or just can't seem to make a go of it with any man, you might be wondering how do you make a relationship work. While being in a relationship may seem thrilling at the beginning, sooner or later problems start emerging. The man may feel that his girlfriend's constant chatting about her friends is a total waste of time. The woman may feel that her boyfriend gives more importance to his buddies than her. These types of feelings are usually repressed by both the partners until something brings all the repressed emotions to a head, which may threaten the relationship.

How do you make a relationship work? The answer lies in the way men and women are wired by nature. Men, by nature, are independent minded and they absolutely hate being dominated. If you start trying to control him (where he goes, what friends he hangs out with, how often he calls, etc.) his mind will start to perceive your orders as a threat to his independence.

He will begin to feel that you are encroaching on his manhood. And you never want to make a man feel like he is not a man, or that you see him as less then a man. Men will turn and run from a woman who makes them feel that way. (It's a biological thing after all.)

Remember that men have a lot of pride and want to be treated like an adult. And men even want to be treated like a hero; they want to feel like you depend on them a little bit. But in a good way, not in some clingy, need way.

On the other hand, when in a relationship, many women tend to hand over the entire responsibility of herself to her man. I think this has to do with the fairy tale we are told as girls, that prince charming will rescue and take care of us. Those fairy tales set us up to be totally dependent upon men, and that's a bad thing.

Men want women (in this day and age at least) who are independent, have their own lives and friends, and who add another dimension to the relationship.

So how do you make a relationship work? Here are some tips:

DOs

  • Give your man plenty of independence. He'll appreciate that you consider him responsible and mature enough, and he'll be even more attracted to you since he'll see you as confident, independent, and trusting of him.
  • Appreciate your man's qualities and tell him what you admire about him. However, be careful that the qualities which you are appreciating really do exist. False praises can be easily spotted.
  • Ask for his help every once in a while. Men are by instinct helpers. They want to help out with problems and/or fix things that have broken. (Really, is another biological thing.) So ask him every now and then to help you with a problem or fix something that is broken. Let him get out his intellectual tools or his house-fixer-upper tools. It will make him feel needed and useful.

DONTs

  • Avoid frequent nagging. It irritates the hell out of men. Emotional outbursts are understandable every once in a while and men do not expect their women to be laughing and smiling all the time, but nagging everyday is just too much for the nerves to handle. And men will dump women who nag to much.
  • Avoid criticizing your man in front of his friends. He will never forgive you if you do that. And he will start thinking that maybe you're not the woman to spend his life with.
  • Try to control your jealousy if you see your man talking to another woman. It's probably some small professional matter. Do not make a big deal out of it. However, you may have a discussion with him in private if you do feel he's up to no good.

So, how do you make a relationship work? By keeping the above pointers in mind. With experience you will learn more about what men like and what drives them away, and you will get better at handling relationships. The best thing is to remember to treat a man how you want to be treated - with respect and with love.


Street Talk

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