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psychological principles
hot buttons
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heartbreak
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feelings
anger
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How To Get Back At Your Ex - Proceed With Caution
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How To Get Back At Your Ex  -  Proceed With Caution

When someone breaks up with you there are a lot of feelings of anger and resentment, especially if it was messy and mean things were said and done. A lot of people then start thinking - how to get back at your ex. It is a natural and understandable reaction to heartbreak and no one could blame you for wanting some kind of revenge. Making your ex feel as bad as you do may seem like an appealing option right now, but you have to stop and think about how your actions will reflect on you, how you will feel about what you did later on down the line and if it will ultimately ruin any friendship that you can have with your ex in the future.

That being said, there are certain things that you can do to get back at your ex, but they are not the usual actions that people take. These actions are a lot more effective and subtle. This is a better option for two reasons. Your ex won't ever know that you are trying to get revenge on them (it is that subtle), and your ex will end up regretting the break up, try to get you back and apologise for their behaviour. Doesn't that sound like a much better outcome?

The last thing that you want to be doing is to rile your ex, reinforce their decision to break up with you, make yourself look like a crazy psychopath and destroy anything that you have with your ex. These techniques work because your ex will NOT be expecting them, they also work because they are based on psychological principles that push your ex's emotional hot buttons and make them react in a positive way.

Don't Act Rashly

You may be thinking that the last thing that you want to do is to maintain any kind of relationship with your ex, but right now your are thinking emotionally, you are hurt and you want to lash out. You have every right to do this, but your feelings will change in the coming weeks and months. Now is the time to bide your time and stay cool, if not in private then in public and around your ex.

Doing anything that seems out of character or spiteful will only reflect badly on you. This is why you have to stand back and wait a while. Planning out your revenge is the safest thing that you can do right now. Once a little time has passed you will be much more stable, be able to think clearly and might even change your mind about getting back at your ex. You may have heard of the saying, 'revenge is a dish best served cold' and that certainly applies here, so take a deep breath, remove yourself from the situation and come up with a plan.

Ways To Get Back At Your Ex - Not What You Think

You have probably heard people saying misguided things about spreading rumors about your ex to make them look foolish. Friends or family could even have suggested that you damage their property or even hurt them physically in some way. This is NOT the way to go and will only get you into a lot of trouble and the situation could quickly spiral out of control. Your ex may have hurt and damaged you beyond belief and it is therefore natural that you want them to feel just like you are, but believe me, this doesn't work. The following ways to get back at your ex are a little controversial and unorthodox, but they work and they work well.

1 - Act Like You Don't Care About Your Ex, The Break Up Or What They Did

Sounds crazy right? How on earth could acting like it doesn't matter get back at your ex? Well if you understand a little about human psychology you will soon see how powerful it can be. Your ex will be expecting you to act in a certain way after the break up, they have almost counted on it. They will be looking out for you to slip up emotionally, see you crying and shouting at them. They will expect you to plead for them to take you back, look for answers and stalk you.

When you don't give your ex any of these things you are dramatically taking the power back and putting it in your own hands. You see, your ex's ego will secretly want you to do these foolish things because it makes them feel good about themselves, makes them think that you still have feelings for them and that they have a certain amount of control over you and can affect your emotions.

When you don't show any emotion or act in an expected way, your ex will suddenly sit up and take notice of you and be confused. This will be a huge knock to their ego and make them think that you didn't really care about them at all. This is one of the most effective ways to get back at your ex because it challenges their views of the relationship that you had and makes them feel vulnerable. The best thing about this technique is that you haven't done anything at all except for exerting a little self control.

2 - Talk About A New Love Interest Or Start Dating Again After The Break Up

Nothing will get back at your ex better than them seeing you with someone else. Of course you don't want to be using anyone just for this purpose. You could just go on a few casual dates or arrange for a friend of the opposite sex to spend time with you. This is completely innocent but your ex doesn't need to know this. As far as they are concerned you have moved on from them really quickly and seem to be happy again. How do you think this will make them feel? Pretty crap.

Even if you think that your ex doesn't care about you or has no feelings left, seeing their ex with someone else will be a huge shock and make them second guess the break up and how they treated you. They don't want to see anyone else moving in on their territory, no matter how the relationship ended. This will also be a big knock to their ego and ignite feelings of jealousy. They will feel utterly helpless and start displaying signs that they are not happy with it. Watch out for these signs from your ex and you will know that it is working.

If you don't want to date someone else again so soon, all you have to do is start dropping hints that you are interested in someone else. Tell your friends and family that you like someone, flirt with people and look happy. It will soon get back to your ex that you are moving on and that you are not interested in them anymore. You will subsequently look more appealing and attractive to your ex but this time they will know that they can't have you. This is the best kind of revenge there is because you are seen in a positive light and not a vindictive one. No one likes to see their ex moving on in front of them, it makes them feel depressed and bad about themselves.

Your Next Steps

These are only two techniques to get back at your ex. They may be unconventional, but they are proven to work. Do not let your anger or emotions run away with you as you will only end up feeling even worse about your ex and the break up.

There are other things that you can be doing to get back at your ex and this is to make them pine for you. When you make your ex miss you it will give you the upper hand and you will see a change in the way that your ex treats you and they will soon be showing signs of regret. There are also techniques to make your ex want you and these are also very powerful. You should also be learning make your ex jealous techniques. These are clever and it's the best kind of revenge.


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