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It doesn't matter if you've been with someone for six months or six years, breakups are difficult to go through. You might feel as though your life won't ever be the same, and end up spending all of your precious time and energy brainstorming ways to get him back.
Unfortunately, after a difficult breakup, most people aren't really in their right minds. It might seem like a good idea to text your ex and stalk his social networking profiles, but is that really going to bring him back to you?
Nine times out of ten, things like that are counterproductive, at best. Instead, there are a few other ways to get him back that you need to know about.
First of all, the absolute most important thing you can do is resist temptation. That means no crazy-calling, no Facebook stalking, and no grilling mutual friends for information on what he's been up to.
You might think that knowing he isn't dating anyone else yet will put your mind at ease, but put yourself in his place-- would you want to go back to and stay with someone that didn't seem to have a life beyond keeping tabs on you?
Second, avoid the urge to perform an about-face. A person who recently lost a lover and is desperate for ways to get him back might be tempted to revamp everything about themselves-- new haircut, new friends, new hobbies, new clothes.
While a small change to your lifestyle or appearance can help intrigue your ex (not to mention give you something besides him to focus on for a bit), changing everything about yourself at once won't make you or him happy in the long run, and isn't that what matters?
Next, remember that relationships and people change. Are you still the same person he fell for? If you used to be a fit, toned gym-rat, now might be the time to get back into a healthy lifestyle.
If you used to have interests and hobbies that you left by the wayside, now is a good time to pick them up again. Your ex was attracted to you back then, and one of the best ways to get him back and keep him is to remind him of the vibrant, interesting, desirable you that you were when you met.
Lastly, don't try to have the last word. If you and your ex were a big part of each other's lives, your most recent “Goodbye” probably isn't going to be the last time you talk to each other.
Fight the urge to ask questions about the breakup, or pull an “I just wanted to say...” Show your ex that you've moved on, even if you haven't.
People want what they can't have, and one of the most helpful ways to get him back is to avoid letting on how much the breakup has impacted your life. Be as relaxed, happy, and upbeat as you possibly can, and let him see what he's missing.
Too many people give in to their desire to contact their ex too soon, and their ways to get him back often involve guilt, desperation, and even blackmail.
Just remember that, no matter how bad you're feeling right now, it will pass. Once you've followed these tips and had an initial contact with your ex, you'll be ready to use more advanced ways to get him back that will let you build a stronger, happier relationship than you had before.
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