This Article is About
jealousy
ticking time bomb
no doubt
self respect
How To Survive An Affair: Why You Must Gain Control Of Your Jealousy
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How To Survive An Affair: Why You Must Gain Control Of Your Jealousy

Finding out you've been cheated on is like being hit by a freak storm: One minute the sky is blue and clear; the next minute, your relationship has been reduced to acres of debris.

It's how you go about cleaning up that debris that determines how you survive an affair. The debris consists of your outrage, confusion, humiliation, and of course, jealousy -- all of which can steadily devour your self-respect. But what you may be finding equally troubling is the intensity of what you've been feeling.

Consider the case of schoolmistress Jean Harris, who was convicted of murdering Herman "The Scarsdale Diet Doctor" Tarnower. After he broke their engagement, they continued their relationship, though Tarnower never concealed from her that he was also having a relationship with his receptionist.

After Tarnower told her he was taking the receptionist to a testimonial banquet -- and to "stop bothering" him -- Harris mailed him a letter, wrote some suicide notes, packed a gun, and drove five hours to his home. She found Tarnower alone in his bedroom, but she also found the receptionist's nightgown and toiletries in a bathroom. Harris threw them about the bedroom, an argument ensued, and she shot him four times.

No doubt there was a time when Harris would have told her own students, “It’s only human to get jealous and angry about being cheated on. But you’re supposed to have enough common sense and self-esteem to know where to draw the line.” And I have no doubt that you would have agreed with her a thousand per cent. Now that you know how it feels to stand in Harris’ shoes, however, do you still agree?

What Harris did "wrong” was not confront the ticking time bomb that her jealousy had become. It had so thoroughly distorted her moral compass and depleted her self-esteem that once she eliminated Tarnower, suicide became a moot issue.

You can’t survive an affair if you can’t manage your jealousy and your revenge fantasies. Go ahead and think about them, even write them out. But then you must also decide to refuse to take them any further than that. You’ll end up being as much a villain as your cheating partner or spouse, and it doesn’t really solve your problem, does it? After all, the point of learning how to survive an affair is to get to a place where you can make decisions about the future of your relationship based on what your brain and heart are telling you, not your emotions.


Street Talk

babarah  

GOD BLESS THE DAY HOW I GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK Hello my name is Babarah from CANADA. i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster…so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn’t believe in all those things… then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo. com spells is for a better life. again his email is ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo. com OR call him with this number+2348112060028

Reply
  about 5 years ago
babarah  

GOD BLESS THE DAY HOW I GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK Hello my name is Babarah from CANADA. i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster…so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn’t believe in all those things… then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo. com spells is for a better life. again his email is ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo. com OR call him with this number+2348112060028

Reply
  about 5 years ago
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