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Learning that your husband cheated with your best friend is one of the hardest emotional blows you can take.
Not only have you lost your husband's trust, but also that of your best friend. You feel betrayed, in pain, confused... and completely devastated.
In most cases, your husband will also feel this way. Hurting you is not something he wanted. He simply got a need met from this woman that he didn't get from you - because he didn't know how to tell you.
So here's how you can deal with the devastation and get your relationship back on the right track.
1. Allow yourself to deal with the emotions and heal.
You need time to process and accept what happened. Allow yourself to feel the pain and hurt - and then, let it go.
Set quiet time aside to meditate and breathe deeply. Focus on your breathing, especially. It will help you to feel grounded and stable again. Make sure you have a private place, alone, where you can eliminate distractions.
It's good to turn to friends, as well. Confide in a close friend about what you're going through. Share your feelings. Vent your anger. Your friends care about your well-being and want to support you, so it's okay to confide in them.
2. Think about what you want.
At this point, you need to ask yourself: can I forgive my husband for this? Can I work through the pain? Is it possible to repair our relationship?
If you say yes, and you want to forgive him and move on, it's important to recognize that this is a long process that will take time, patience, and love.
You're rebuilding a broken trust. And it isn't easy. But if you both truly love each other, and are willing to work through the steps to rebuild this trust, you can get your marriage back on track.
Make sure you solidly understand what you want out of this marriage - and that you communicate it to your husband.
3. Try "dating" again.
I know that dating your husband might seem like the last thing on your mind, but one of the best things a couple can do to rebuild their broken marriage is to get into that fun, easygoing mindset of a date.
Pick a spot that's familiar to you both. It can be the place you had your first date, for example. Just make sure it's somewhere you have fond memories of. Or, a place like a comedy bar - somewhere that will make you laugh.
If you go to see a movie, see a comedy. The key is keeping your dates positive, light-hearted, and fun. Like two kids who are dating for the first time.
This will help you recapture the romance and love in your relationship.
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