This Article is About
conflict
heroin addict
soul mate
home jobs
pen and paper
hurdles
4 months
6 years
three months
addiction
happiness
parenting
drugs
I Like To Think I Am A Conflict Pro
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I have to give you a little back story before you could believe the conflict I have endured and hope many can learn from all this soul-mate stuff, etc.

Although, before I start, I did have a revelation this morning and had to realize, wasting my energy on the recent arguing just isnt my battle to fight and waste energy. I think the more we as a couple put out that energy, the worse it will get. I have to learn how to just brush it off and trust me, I know about conflict well BECAUSE of my mouth. Strong women are hard to handle (had to throw that in there) lol.

I met my sons father (the man I am with today) in 97'. He was in prison and locked up with a friend of mine so we just started writing as friends. We wrote pretty consistantly and then we realized we were feeling more then friendly. I went to visit him, waited 8 months and hours on the phone and even MORE hours with a pen and paper! He was released March 2000.  I was pregnant immediately.

You might say, you cannot know a man in prison. Trust me, I know him better then he knows himself. His flaws actually work to my benefit in many ways. One as an example, he over explains, or says things that he shouldnt that may come back to bite him later.  He became a heroin addict and I left him when my son was 4 months old...

Only to find out, he got locked up again because of his addiction. I recieve a letter and I am believeing he will NEVER do drugs again and we wait a year. I realized he was high the first week, he was out of our lives.  He seen his son last on his 2nd Birthday.  Our son turns 11 in December. We have decided this many years later, that we were going to get back together. I moved to Florida for 6 years and we re-connected so three months later and every single lifes hurdles, between parenting, loosing a home, jobs, mannn you name it. WE have argued and we have talked it out, then it goes back to the screaming, which as of recent becomes very verbally abusive and here I am, forsaking my own happiness for my son.

My son has now found his father and he is King of the world. My son has said to me "if you leave dad, I am moving with him".  Of course I cant tell him, well your dad wouldnt have a pot to piss in, nor would I let you, because everything in the home is mine.

That was just a little background. I am 31 years old, married still to another man (we have been seperated almost 4 years, but still), an 11 year old son and I am stuck in this place. I am conflicted with life, let alone all the conflict. Once you cross a certain line in any realationship, even verbally, sometimes you cant turn back.


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