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When I found out years ago that he was bringing his "friend" over to his house to stay the night, I went berserk. This friend of his was a girl and his parents were not going to be home that night. I immediately called him and told him to pick me up. Why would he do this to me? I knew he had to be up to something. When I arrived to his house where she was, I was so nauseated and sick to my stomach that I couldn't even function. I spent the rest of the night sick in the bathroom and eventually passed out from exhaustion. That was my first reaction to a jealous fit I had in a past relationship. Since then, I have been very anti jealousy considering the relationship ended up going sour in the end. Jealousy only hurt me more.
In any relationship I have had since 2006, I have always made it very clear that I do not tolerate jealousy. Most guys that I come across don't get it and some love that. I feel that jealousy hurts a relationship more than anything.
But if you don't get jealous than you don't love me!
That is the most UNTRUE statement of the year. Jealousy comes from anger and causes issues. Here's how I look at it. If you are going to get jealous, than there are obvious trust issues. Those trust issues say a lot more than your original fit over talking to some guy or girl. When my partner gets jealous, I don't feel good. Most people thrive on jealousy in relationships and feel that if they can make their partner jealous, they will be in it for the long run.
Do not be fooled...
When a partner gets jealous it takes a lot of energy out of someone. For me, I don't have the stomach for it anymore. I feel enraged and less of a person. No one should make me feel that way, especially not on purpose! Some say that there needs to be a balance of jealousy in a relationship to show that you care for the other. I disagree with this too.
While relationships are hard and often difficult, we don't need to add the complication of jealousy to formula. In my opinion, if you want to go flirt with someone else than so be it. No reason for jealousy on my part because you're not worth it than. Why should I get so upset that you are talking to someone else? I am honest and you should be too in a relationship. I tell people, "Look, I don't tolerate jealousy and if you don't wanna be with me than just say so." Be done with it. You will only end up getting hurt in the end if you let it get to you.
Do you feel jealousy is necessary? How much is tolerable?
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