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Learn To Love Your Partner^s Ex---not Really
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Dear Readers,

Many of the things I share with you, I do write from personal experience. (Not everything of course, in case you are wondering). Indeed, the following experience does fall into the first category.

Ok, so lets be honest (not that you are not honest but it fits the beginning of the paragraph, hehe) dealing with an ex-wife (or your partner’s “ex”) can be very complicated, draining, overwhelming, annoying, fastidious, disappointing, and all other applicable terms. Believe me, I know, as this is the second time I have to deal with a partner’s ex-wife. For those women out there who have had to deal with such or will be dealing with; I hope this will bring some insights into your situation.

1. Understand your situation. I guess it doesn’t have to be difficult, does it? It is what you chose it to be. Sometimes it is hard to accept your partner’s situation, but you can make an effort to understand, if not accept, the reality of it. You don’t have to accept your partner’s “ex” either, but you can accept reality. Right? After all, she is not going anywhere and if you and your partner have a long-term relationship, you will deal or continuing dealing with her no matter what.

2. Do not dwell (aka obsess). Live in the present, not the Past. You cannot change what happened, (and insert all other over-used phrases about what is Past is Past). This is one of those things that it is easy to say BUT very difficult to do, right? Perhaps it’s human nature (or perhaps it’s just women, or perhaps it’s only just you and I), but I find myself sometimes obsessing over things that have past and I cannot change (like someone stealing my nice road bicycle, grrrrr). Truly, dwelling in the past is counter-productive. Instead, look at your present situation. Focus on what you have and not on what you could have had or what could have been. I once heard someone say, "you cannot change your circumstances, but you can chose how you react to them" (forgive me for not giving proper credit. I really cannot remember who said that).

3. Learn to let it go. If you are like me, you probably have a really, really good memory, right? I don’t forget things, situations, or for that matter, aggravations or insults very easily… or ever, hehe. It is difficult to forget or forgive, is it not? But, what good does that do? If you are constantly thinking or bringing up how your partner, consciously or unconsciously, has hurt you, you are living in the past and thus, you are not enjoying the present. Letting go is a skill that needs to be learned, and if you don’t learn it quicker rather than later, you will waste time.

4. Control yourself. AH! This takes a lot of effort …What I mean by this is, you cannot control his “ex’s” actions, even if you think that would be most ideal (yes, I agree with you, I wish I could control “her,” hehe). But whether you think she is trying to upset you, make you jealous, or antagonize you, if you let her “get to you,” she “wins.” Don’t allow her to because in the mean time, you and your partner’s relationship will suffer the consequences. If she sees you do not react to her attempts, she will get tired of it and drop it (or more than likely she will find something else to annoy you with, heheh). If you have tried to ignore her and her actions yet you cannot stand the situation or her, then find how YOU can annoy her … hehe (just kidding).

5. Figure out who or what are you mad at! Sometimes we get angry and we don’t know who or what we are mad at. There have been plenty of times when I have had to stop and consider, am I angry about the situation, am I upset with my partner, am I angry at his “ex;” Am I mad at myself? Am I angry at everything and upset with everybody? Once you figure it out, then you can really take steps (like punch some walls, noooooo, just kidding) to breath, and cool off.

6. Communicate with your partner. It is really crucial for you to CALMLY share your perspective of how dealing with your partner’s “ex” or for that matter, HIM dealing with his “ex” makes you feel. If you approach your sharing conversations/communication in a hostile manner, there is nothing productive to come out of that. The “communication channels” will close and neither of you will get anywhere. So do express your feelings But do it in a civil manner.

7. Establish some “rules.” Think about what is going to make you BOTH feel comfortable (and by this I really mean what makes YOU happy, hehehe). No, seriously, how both of you can make the best of the situation. Maybe he has not thought about how he is making you feel or how he can make minor, or perhaps major changes, that would make you and him feel more comfortable when dealing with his “ex.”

8. If all else fails, pack your stuff! Great idea, go and take a vacation, by yourself, or better yet, WITH HIM. After all, if you really love this man, and you do want to be with him, there is nothing better than reconnecting and taking time to be happy with each other and perhaps you might even learn to love his "ex"..... nope, not really ...

Best Regards,

Maya


Street Talk

babarah  

GOD BLESS THE DAY HOW I GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK Hello my name is Babarah from CANADA. i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster…so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn’t believe in all those things… then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo. com spells is for a better life. again his email is ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo. com OR call him with this number+2348112060028

Reply
  about 4 years ago
babarah  

GOD BLESS THE DAY HOW I GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK Hello my name is Babarah from CANADA. i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster…so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn’t believe in all those things… then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo. com spells is for a better life. again his email is ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo. com OR call him with this number+2348112060028

Reply
  about 4 years ago
bianca1  

my name is mccart i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her email is traditionalspellhospital@gmail. com, she is a woman and she is great

Reply
  about 6 years ago
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