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My Boyfriend Wants To Go On A Break - Should You Do It?
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My Boyfriend Wants To Go On A Break  -  Should You Do It?

Unfortunately, not all decisions made within the confines of a committed relationship are mutual. If you've ever been the recipient of an unwanted breakup you know how powerless situations like that can seem to the party that is taken by surprise.

While you may not be facing down the possibility that your relationship is reaching an end at the moment, you're left to wonder if that eventuality is eminent. Does a break always lead to a breakup or do people get back together? Is what's left of your relationship salvageable or should you just move on? Most women handle this situation badly. They either realized that a change was on the horizon and prepared themselves for battle or they were taken completely by surprise and opened their mouths without thinking things through first.

Either path is a dangerous one if you want to keep any chance of reestablishing your relationship in a productive, healthy way. You have a lot of questions and that's to be expected - but there are no easy answers. You certainly aren't going to get the answers you deserve from your guy who set this whole roller coaster into motion.

To Do Or Not To Do

On top of your "avoid at all costs" list should be putting up any kind of a struggle. Now is not the time to dig your heels in and fight for the future of your relationship. If you do, you're basically acknowledging that it doesn't have a future to fight for. If your boyfriend feels threatened or pressured, he's going to back away and it's going to happen at the speed of light. You'll be left holding the bag and he will eventually hold you responsible for ending a relationship before its time.

If you can't argue or go against his wishes what is the best thing you can do? Simple - give him exactly what he's asking for but don't do it in a way that is easily anticipated. You want him to miss the place you filled in his life and the only way that can become a reality is if you remove yourself from it first. You can't expect him to realize what he's given up if nothing is different.

You need to stop responding to him on his timeframe - or at all. Don't give in to temptation and let a few phone calls slip by when no one's watching. Cutting contact completely is the only way to make him realize that he's missing something - and that something is you.

Grant His Wishes

Your hands are tied and someone took away the key. You've been bound up in an impossible situation and it doesn't seem like a way out is possible. The more you struggle the deeper entrenched you become and it's starting to look like a losing battle. There's a reason for that, although you don't want to hear it. The reason is you. You've allowed him to make all the rules - but his own rules only apply to you, not him.

He doesn't want you to enjoy the same freedom he's reveling in. He doesn't want to have you out there somewhere enjoying yourself. He wants you at home in case he decides on a whim that he wants to stop by. If you're not, he's probably going to call you on it. If you are, he's going to feel justified and continue his selfish and uncaring behavior indefinitely.

He didn't decide to end the relationship because he wanted to see what was out there first. He's keeping you as a backup plan just in case - and you shouldn't be anyone's second-choice. You need to make him reevaluate his position in a way that will stop the madness and getting him to miss you some of the time simply isn't enough.

Take Back Your Power And Make Him Want You

You're most recent ex-boyfriend is not going to change his tune unless you force his hand. Your attempts at subtly working your way back into his mind may have worked short-term but they aren't changing things in the long run. That's why you need to throw subtlety out the window and start flying.

All that aggression and frustration that you felt initially when you couldn't put up a fight can now come into play full-force. Don't direct it at your ex - channel it constructively into something that makes you happy. Take up boxing or martial arts to work off all the chocolate you initially consumed. Start a new hobby or join your girlfriends for drinks over the weekend.

You're not chained to the phone anymore. Turnabout is fair play and in situations like this it's necessary to put yourself on the line with some drastic and unconventional actions. If your boyfriend starts to wonder what you're up to, he's going to start looking for you. The last thing he wants to see is you enjoying yourself without him. If he notices that you seem to be at the top of your game, he's going to doubt how important your relationship was to you in the first place.

Guys by nature are insecure when it comes to their status in relationships and you're preying on that underlying instinct in a big way. He's going to start thinking about who you're spending your time with and wondering if he's been replaced while he wasn't paying attention. Those thoughts are eventually going to spark a need for action and it's all because you decided to take control of your own destiny and not hang your hopes on the chance of a "maybe."

There's a lot to say for establishing (and sticking to) a concrete plan while still remaining open and flexible in case of unforeseen hurdles that may come your way. By enabling yourself to act without succumbing to feelings of being victimized, you're asserting yourself in ways that you probably never imagined were possible - and your ex certainly couldn't picture them either. Success or failure shouldn't rely on one person's instincts or another person's decisions. Your chances hinge largely on your own mental strength, self-confidence and your ability to adapt to change.

Your Next Steps

You now need to take things up a notch. This involves working out how he really feels about you first. Read the signs he still loves you, from there you will be able to see what is working and what chances you have of getting him back. Then you need to make him want you back. It is simpler than it sounds and concentrates on using male psychology to your advantage.

You are never going to get your ex boyfriend back if you don't make him miss you first though. He has to feel a void in his life in some way or he will not be moved to get you back. This is crucial. The sooner you can make him realise what life without you is like, the better for you. Taking action now will give you the best possible chances of success.


Street Talk

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