You're just broken up and now your girlfriend wants no contact with you. How on earth can you stay away when every instinct you have is to fight to save your relationship? It isn't easy to stand back and watch the woman you love walk away. It doesn't even matter why she says she's leaving. All you know in your heart is that you want her back and you want things to be as close to the way they were as possible.

The problem is that the way things were just wasn't working – at least it wasn't working for her. If you really want to get your ex back and make your relationship work you're going to have to redefine your relationship to some degree and find a way to make it work for both of you. A relationship where only one person is happy isn't a great place to be either. You need to find somewhere in the middle where both of you can be happy, challenged, and feel loved. This is the place where a relationship can thrive.

But before you can get there, you have to deal with the no contact part of things. You're never going to win her back if you can't manage to stay away long enough for her to really miss you. So how do you stay away from your girlfriend when your relationship is on the line? Perhaps that's the first thing you need to know or do to make it really hit home for you. Convince yourself that your relationship really is on the line if you can't manage to stay away. In other words, make sure you understand that if you don't take a step back and give your ex girlfriend the space she needs, you'll never be able to get your ex back.

For most men in your situation that is enough. It's still painful but the promise of possibilities in the future in exchange for staying away today can make all the difference in the world. But if you need a little extra nudge in the right direction think of it this way. The time you spend apart is time you can spend coming up with a great plan of action for winning her back.

When you look at things from that point of view it will be much easier to give your girlfriend the space she needs during the "no contact" period you agree on. It's also a sign of good faith for her that she can trust you if you ever do decide to work things out and try to save your relationship.