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Playing The Coping Game
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Playing The Coping Game

I hate playing pretend games. You know, the ones you used to love as a child. 'Pretend that I’m a princess ballerina and that I have magical powers'. It used to be fun right? It didn’t end up in tears or repeated listening of Adele. But now, as an adult, it becomes 'let’s pretend that knowing my ex is out having a great time with other women doesn’t bother me at all'. I mean, seriously? Yeah, I’m happy. Well, no you’re not. I will tell you what you are however, trying to cope.

Now everyone either expects to not cope at all or to cope well. For some reason a spiteful shit decided to remove the middle ground for the majority of heartbroken folk.Yep, go ahead and make it even more difficult, it’s ok, I’ll pretend my way out of it.

But here’s the thing, it’s ok to be just trying to cope, it’s ok to feel hurt.

Yeah that doesn’t really make it any better but at least you know you can leave your Wonderwoman cape off for the moment. The news is you don’t have to be coping well to be coping.

What is it that annoys us about the fact our ex partners are out there having the supposed time of their lives? Do we feel less important? Jealous? All of the above? Are they really having such a good time?The thoughts just keep coming don’t they. So of course we turn into independent stalkers that would put the government to shame in terms of getting information and keeping tabs on people.Oh we’re the mistresses of facebook and gossip alright.

Ok time out. What is this achieving, really?

The thing about pretending as a child is it isn’t about denial. More about stretching one’s imagination and creating the things you want. It’s usually a positive game.But this little pretend I’m not hurting and I’m going to pick everything to death and analyse it until I find out that he never loved me anyway so I don’t hurt anymore game; Excuse me, but what?

Does it mean he loved you any less? No. Does it mean he’s not hurting? No. Does it mean you should get your ass off the couch and away from Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant and that bottle of whisky immediately and do something you love? Um, yes.

So right now I think instead of pretending I’m ok and visualising ‘the worst’ I’m going to pretend I’m an awesome writer and a talented musician who is hurting. Or I could just believe in myself, love and let the rest follow suit.


Street Talk

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