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Relationship Is On A Break - Find Out Why
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Relationship Is On A Break  -  Find Out Why

My relationship is on a break - why? It can be difficult to get your head around the reasons for your break. Maybe you thought that everything was going smoothly and you both were happy. To find out that your partner wanted to take a break may have come like a bolt from the blue. Maybe you thought that there was nothing that you could do to rectify the situation, you just had to accept the break and wait patiently until he or she decided what they wanted. This is unfair to you but what choice do you have?

The truth is that you do have a choice in what happens to your relationship. If you want this break to discontinue you are going to have to do something about it quickly, not just assume that your partner will come to their senses on their own. While you are on a break there are lots of powerful techniques that you can put into place to make them realise that they miss you and that this break was a stupid idea.

To be able to do that though you need to first understand why your relationship is on a break and why your partner may have been unhappy or confused about your future. This will enable you to put things right in the end. Take a look at the scenarios below and be honest with yourself, was your relationship suffering from any of these things? If so you can use this time productively to iron out any problems and lay a solid foundation for your future. Here goes.

It Just Wasn't Fun Anymore

Every relationship has its highs and lows, no one can expect fun all the time. There is a huge difference between being comfortable within a relationship and having a situation where things have just become boring and frustrating. Maybe your partner felt a little suffocated and didn't see their future as happy being stuck in a relationship that wasn't challenging them anymore. You are not a mind reader, maybe they didn't tell you that they were unhappy. Think back to how your partner behaved before the break, did they seem dissatisfied or drop hints that they wanted more from life?

You don't have to be a constant party clown to make your partner happy, nor should you have to be. Their happiness is not all down to you. Maybe it is a personal issue and they have to work through it themselves. You can inject more fun into your relationship by trying new things and making plans for the future, then maybe your partner would not feel so disillusioned with the prospect of staying in a relationship with you.

This is all well and good, but you cannot make plans with someone who wants space from you. It is essentially a break up if you are being honest with yourself. This is why you have to take matters into your own hands before they take the next step and make the break up official. Making them realise that you are fun and interesting should be your main priority here. Let them see that you aren't taking the break too badly and that you have a life to get on with. When they are on the outside looking in, they will soon get jealous of the fact that you are doing all of these things without them and wonder why they are not part of your life anymore.

They Are Confused About Their Feelings

When the honeymoon period has waned feelings seem to calm down and you become more comfortable with each other. Maybe your partner has dropped some hints that things are not the way they used to be. Did they stop being affectionate towards you before the break? Did they always seem to be busy with somebody or something else? If your partner wasn't interested in spending any quality time with you then you can be sure that they were conflicted about how they really felt.

Although you can't make someone love you, there are ways to keep the fire of passion and attraction burning if you know how. Of course relationships are based on more than physical attraction and lust, but sometimes they need that little extra spark to keep them alive and maintain the devotion of the other person.

Your partner needed this time apart to work through their feelings and determine what their future would be with you. You can't push them into making a snap decision here as it might not go in your favour, but at the same time, you shouldn't be expected to sit back and let them make all the decisions about your relationship.

Give them the space that they need, but don't sit at home worrying about the break. They need to see you as attractive like they did initially. Go out and have fun, become mysterious again and make your partner realise what they are missing out on. If they think that there is a chance that you could move on with someone else, they will call an immediate halt to the break and see the error of their ways. This doesn't mean that you should start trying to make your partner jealous either, that could backfire. Just play it cool and get your confidence back, this often has a huge impact on how they view you.

Their Needs Are Not Being Met Anymore

Whilst this can seem extremely selfish, your partner will only be looking at your relationship from their perspective and how it fulfills them. When they stop feeling the contentment that they once did they will start asking themselves why and go through a lot of turmoil and confusion until they come to a conclusion. This is usually when someone decides that they want a break - they want to work through what is causing this confusion and they best way to do this to put some distance between you both.

Did your partner express feelings of dissatisfaction prior to the break? Did something radically change in your relationship that shifted your priorities like a new job, child or friends? If you were not giving your partner enough attention they may have started to feel like second best but couldn't express these feelings to you for fear of sounding selfish or needy.

Your Next Steps

Maybe you are still confused about the reasons why your relationship is on a break and none of the above scenarios are applicable to you. Whatever the reasons are, you will need to be clever about what you do next and make your ex realize that they made a huge mistake in asking for a break. This will not come about through force, but by implementing little known psychological techniques that will make them miss you and chase you again.

The contact that you have with your partner during your break is crucial here. You don't want to risk pushing them further and further away from you. Study the no contact rule and why it works to create desire again. Being on the lookout for signs ex is over you is also advisable. You need to know if you have any hope of winning back their affection before you put all of this effort in. There are telltale clues that will illuminate how they are really feeling about you.


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