You probably can't imagine anything worse. Seeing your ex boyfriend with another girl is not what you expected so soon after your break up. All of these valid questions are running through your head - Is he over me already? Why is he dating again? Will I ever get him back? Does he love her more than he loved me?

It is normal to think like this and you have every reason to be concerned. You were probably hoping somewhere down the line that your ex boyfriend would see sense and come back to you. This hasn't happened and you are at a loss about what to do next. Well there is some good news in this realisation that he is seeing a new girl. It might not look like it now, but you have to understand that not everything is as it appears to be on the surface.

If you want to get him back then there are a few things that you need to get right and QUICKLY. The last thing that you want to do is to make a fool of yourself in front of him and let slip how much this is hurting you. You need to be cleverer than that if you are going to get him to see you as a potential partner again. This is why you need to implement specific techniques and avoid certain damaging behaviour, so let's get started.

Control Yourself In Front Of Him

When you first find out that your ex boyfriend is seeing a new girl, your instincts are to have it out with him or demand answers. In his eyes, it is probably over completely between you both (for now anyway), but you were hoping for a reconciliation at some point in the future. When you see him with his new girlfriend it can come like a bolt from the blue and a huge kick in the stomach. Nothing prepares you for this hurt and the last thing that you will be thinking about is controlling yourself when all you want to do is cry or lash out.

You must remember that this is crucial though if you want to get him back in the end. It is no good running your mouth off, insulting him and picking out her flaws, this will get you nowhere. It will also make your ex boyfriend wary of you and he will not know how to act around you. You do not want to create an uncomfortable situation and make it impossible for your ex boyfriend to reach out to you in the future, that is why control should be your middle name. He will actually admire you for it.

If you run into them together then you have to be prepared to act in a certain way to come out of it looking favorably to your ex. You want to be natural and breezy, as if seeing him with a new girl has not had any affect on you whatsoever. Be mature and dignified and DO NOT give him what he expects - a fight. By the same token it is important that you do not veer off in the opposite direction either. Being overly nice will come across as unnatural and he will wonder what you are up to. Paying his new girlfriend compliments and acting as if you are best friends will not wash. It will make both of them highly suspicious.

Avoid Them Like The Plague - Even Better, Pretend He Has The Plague

This may be impossible if you know the girl or your paths cross on a regular basis. You must do whatever you can to stay away from them both at this time. Your instincts will only get the better of you if you are constantly in their company. Something sarcastic might slip out and he will then know how you really feel about his new girlfriend. You do not want that to happen. That is why staying away gives you the best possible chance of not making any blunders or saying anything out of turn.

It is also good for you personally. The last thing that you want is to be tormented looking on from the sidelines knowing how happy they seem together. Don't put yourself through this if you can help it - it is just not worth the trauma. You need time to heal and to come to terms with his new relationship. The best way for you to do this is by giving yourself some space and time.

The upside to disappearing from his sight will motivate you. Your ex boyfriend will be expecting some kind of resistance from you, or at the very least some questions. When you don't seem that interested in his love life, his confidence will take a nose dive and his curiosity for you will suddenly be piqued. No one wants to think that their ex girlfriend has moved on without so much as a second thought for them - it damages the male pride. He will consequently start to become interested in you again and what you REALLY think about him.

Once you have managed to stay out of sight for long enough, your ex boyfriend will begin to miss you and wonder what you are up to. I know that it hurts to stay out of his life and feel as if you are being pushed to the sidelines, it is a necessary part of the plan if you are serious about getting him back. Your lack of contact and disappearance from your social media profiles will put him on edge. He might start to question whether you liked him in the first place or what is keeping you so busy that you haven't been around. When his curiosity gets the better of him, he will be the one that reached out and makes contact with you.

Your Next Steps

If your ex boyfriend is not trying to contact you or you can't get a response from him, it would be useful to understand why he is ignoring you. That way you can correct your behaviour and make him want to get in touch again. You also have to be careful about not making any of these deadly break up mistakes. The problem is that most women do not even know that they are doing anything wrong and continue to make bad decisions. Avoid these and you will be on the right track.