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Should I Delete Him From Facebook After The Breakup?
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Should I Delete Him From Facebook After The Breakup?

Breakups used to be a lot simpler than they are today. Although the process has always been heartbreaking and difficult to cope with, the advances in social media sites like Facebook have made breaking up even harder to process. It's harder than ever to just leave your ex behind you. It used to be as easy as simply losing their phone number - or more likely incinerating it in a backyard bonfire along with his favorite shirt and all the pictures of the two of you together.

In this modern world, however, getting someone out of your life is a much more drawn out process. It's not as simple as just throwing their phone number into a trash can - you have to delete them off of your social media sites, get rid of their email address, and delete their texts and more. Even that is no guarantee that your paths won't cross unintentionally. If you share a mutual circle of friends, they could pop up unexpectedly in comments or statuses - even pictures that are displayed in your news feed. All of a sudden they seem to be everywhere whereas in your relationship you could rarely find a word about them. Irony is a cruel mistress sometimes.

But what if you're not happy about the breakup to begin with? What if you really want to get back together with your ex because you still have strong feelings for them? Can staying friends with them on Facebook or other sites really help you get them back? And what in the world should be done with your status?

Having An Ex Boyfriend on Facebook

Knowing whether or not to delete your ex boyfriend on Facebook has become an intricate and time consuming process. Truthfully, it's a process that shouldn't be this difficult. People experience anxiety over this simple issue and go back and forth with different options and the consequences of whatever decision they end up making. The more you waffle about your decision, the more immature or desperate you're going to appear to your ex, and that's not going to help you get them back at all.

Why do you feel a need to get onto your Facebook immediately following a breakup and delete any trace of your ex from your page? Why do you feel the need to delete your ex from your friend's list? You became friends when you were dating, and then things took a wrong turn somewhere. Why does that have to mean that you can no longer swim in the same social circles?

Running to see which one of you can delete the other first seems overly childish when you take some time to really think about what you're doing. If you are afraid that you'll be hurt by seeing some of their posts, hide them from your news feed. There's no need to race each other in the deletion game.

Oh, by the way? Updating your status to "single" the second that the word "breakup" comes out of his mouth is rather juvenile. These do nothing to showcase your good qualities - they just make you appear scorned, hurt and immature. Your ex probably knows you well enough to realize that you did that to get back at them - not for any personal reason.

The best course of action is to take no action whatsoever. If you're afraid of being hurt by something you see on a social networking site, don't visit them for a little while. Go experience your life away from the computer. That will keep the stalking tendencies at bay, so it's a win-win situation. Just let it go and allow your ex the possibility to build up a natural curiosity about you when they don't see you posting constant statuses about how heartbroken you are that your relationship is at an end. Whatever you do, for the sake of everyone else on your friends list who ISN'T your ex, please don't post a myriad of videos portraying all your favorite breakup songs.

How Does Your Ex React to Being De-Friended?

Defriending your ex boyfriend immediately following a breakup does nothing but display how you really feel about the situation as a whole. You broke up when you probably wanted nothing of the sort. In essence, your ex took some scissors and successfully severed you from their life. It's a natural instinct to want to do the same. Revenge is very powerful motivator. But your ex doesn't see it the way that you do. Overly dramatic or emotional behavior like this that may later be regretted does nothing to improve your chances of reconciliation - they limit them significantly. Reacting in this way may be a natural instinct but it is not beneficial to either one of you.

The only thing you're proving to your ex by deleting him from Facebook immediately after breaking up is showing them how childish and immature you are. They'll see the hurt underneath the calm exterior you might have shown them during the actual breakup process, and they'll get an inside look into how you really feel about the situation as a whole. It makes you look angry, petty and vengeful and this can ruin your opportunity to reconcile your relationship down the road.

The most common reaction to being defriended is simply humor. Your ex is just going to laugh at you. They're not going to sit at home crying that they're not on your Facebook friends list anymore. It's not going to wound their spirit and make them want to change their mind. They'll shrug it off and forgetting about you will be even easier - you've taken a very powerful tool away from yourself in the process of getting back together, and you haven't accomplished any of the things you were intending. If you have no interest in getting back together, though, then defriending your ex is one of the best things you can do to start the process of getting on with your life and leaving the past behind you.

Step Away to Regain Interest

One of the best ways to regain interest from an ex is to step away from these advances in technology and walk away from social media. Your daily status updates give your ex a front row seat into your life and your emotional state. Deny them that, and they will naturally start to be curious. If you show your ex that updating your Facebook status is a low priority item because you're busy with bigger and better things, they'll start to think that maybe you're getting over them and starting to move on.

Don't catch yourself fin the endless loop of stalking your ex's status messages. That shouldn't concern you anymore, and you don't need to sit there thinking about every single thing they're doing. Concentrate on yourself for a change and take any steps you can to improve yourself, the quality of your life and your situation. You need to make sure that you're ready to face the world and that you're the best version of yourself possible. That will greatly increase chances of getting back together, and it will make you feel great about yourself as well.

Manipulating your Facebook or other social media sites to try and get your ex's attention never works. It's time to move into the big leagues and leave the childish stuff behind you. Chances are it didn't work for you in Jr. High or High school - and it's not going to work any better now.

Next Steps

Your next steps are dependent on whether or not your ex still has feelings for you. If he still has any interest for you, vital clues will be visible if you know where to look. Being able to read the signs he still loves you will dramatically help your cause as you will know where you stand.

You can also try some proven methods to make him want you and chase after you again - using these techniques is working constantly all over the world. Also, avoiding some of the worst break up mistakes that girls make is a crucial part in getting him to go back out with you. If your behaviour is pushing him away, you will need to stop doing these destructive things now.


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