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Sleeping With Your Ex To Get Them Back - Will It Work?
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Sleeping With Your Ex To Get Them Back  -  Will It Work?

Sleeping with your ex to get them back may seem like a good idea initially. Surely your ex will miss being intimate with you as much as you do? This may be true, but it still doesn't deal with the underlying issues that caused your break up in the first place. Sleeping with your ex may make you and your ex forget about these problems for a couple of hours, but they will still exist and no amount of sex is going to solve them.

Many people make the mistake of thinking that physical intimacy will bring you closer to your ex and make them realise what they are missing out on. In the real world however this is rarely the case. Sure, if you had a relationship that was based on sex then it might temporarily jerk your ex into seeing you differently and wanting you again. If however your relationship was based on more than sex, sleeping with your ex will not really bring you closer together like you had hoped. It might even leave you feeling more alone, used and confused than before.

Before you even consider sleeping with your ex to get them back, you have to look at the bigger picture and the consequences that this might have on your chances of getting back together down the road.

Don't Use Sex As A Tool To Get What You Want

Sex can sometimes be used as a tool to trick your ex into doing something that they are just not ready for. When you use sex in this way then neither you or your ex will feel any good about the experience. In the end this will only cement the break up in your ex's mind and they will end up pushing you away for good. No one wants to be used by their ex for an easy lay - it tends to make them feel like they cannot trust you anymore.

There are much more effective ways of getting your ex back without using the allure or promise of sex. You also don't want to be turning sex into something cold and dishonest. It should be between two people who love and trust each other. Once you start messing around with your ex's feelings and tricking them into something that they aren't ready for, it will only blow up in your face.

Is Your Ex Using You?

You have to think about sex from your ex's perspective for a minute. Maybe you are genuine and want nothing more than to get back together with your ex. Maybe sleeping with your ex is the only way that you think can get them back and make you close again. What if your ex does not see things the same way as you though? What if your ex isn't interested in a romantic relationship and just wants sex without strings? How would that make you feel?

Although it isn't pleasant to think about, you have to face the reality that this could be possible. If your ex is the one that broke it off with you, why would they be interested in the emotional closeness of sex with you again? Maybe they miss the physical side of sex and the easiness of doing it with an ex makes it a very attractive option.

Don't be fooled that your ex has changed their mind about you or the relationship if they are ready to jump into bed with you. You could have a very rude awakening in the morning with the post sex talk. Don't make the mistake of being used here. Not only will you think negatively of yourself and be ripped apart by the upset and anger that you feel, your ex will not respect you either. You have to value yourself more highly before your ex will ever start to see you as a romantic partner again, and someone that they want to sleep with out of love - not just sexual gratification.

Don't Rush Things

I know you are probably feeling like you want your ex back yesterday, but you need to look at the bigger picture and accept that it isn't as easy as just clicking your fingers. Whatever problems that you had, these will need to be worked out and space and time need to be experienced by both parties before you can ever hope of being physically close with your ex again.

When you rush into sex with your ex it might feel good for a few minutes. You have to think about how you will feel afterwards though? Realistically, do you think that your ex will jump back into your arms with the promise of sex? Maybe they will, but your relationship will just be built on superficial lust and this will never last in the long run. If you want something deeper and more meaningful you will have to bide your time to make your ex see you as more than just a meal ticket.

If you rush into sleeping with your ex after a break up it can leave you feeling very confused. Things will inevitably get awkward between you and your ex and you will likely become emotionally involved again. Do you really want to go through all of that hurt again? It will be like breaking up all over again.

Sleeping with your ex can also leave you in a no man's land of not knowing where you really stand. Maybe your ex thinks that it will be a cushy little arrangement but that they don't have to commit to you properly. In their minds they are convinced that you are still broken up and that they don't have to answer to you at all. Maybe you will automatically assume that you are back together and pick up where you left off with texts and dates etc. This confusion can lead to a lot of unnecessary hurt. If you are determined to sleep with your ex then you need to have the discussion before anything happens. If you don't you could only end up ruining what could have been a friendship or being labelled as a bunny boiler or user.

Friends With Benefits - The Truth

Truth be told, this type of arrangement will only ever work if you both have moved on and neither of you have ay kind of romantic feelings for one another. The likelihood is that one of you will become attached to the other and remember how sex felt when you were both in love. These feelings could inevitably manifest again, leaving you confused and vulnerable to heart break.

If you are hoping that sleeping with your ex to get them back will work in your favour, you are setting yourself up for a huge letdown. There is always the danger that you misinterpret your ex's feelings towards you during sex, thinking that they want the same thing as you. Don't expect your ex to hold you afterwards or call you the next day - it just doesn't work like that anymore because you are no longer in a relationship.

If you want to get your ex back then you should never use sex to achieve this - nine times out of ten it will fail and you will be the one left looking like a fool. There are smarter ways to go about this but they do require more patience and legwork on your part though. Luckily these techniques work most of the time and will create a solid foundation where your ex actually wants you back and is not just swayed by the promise of sex.

Your Next Steps

Before you do anything else, it is time to understand something about break up dynamics and why people act the way that they do. Researching how the opposite sex thinks after a break up is a good starting point. There are effective ways to make your ex want you again, you just have to understand psychology and how to use it to your advantage.

You also have to be aware of the signs ex has moved on. There really is no point in trying to win them back when they have no feelings left for you. Be able to read the signs so that you can avoid rejection and hurt all over again.


Street Talk

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