This Article is About
calming your mind
time window
strength of character
t text
desperation
time period
good time
harmony
emotions
relationship
The No Contact Rule - How Long Is Necessary After My Boyfriend Dumps Me?
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

You might be wondering, with the no contact rule, how long you'll need to instigate it.  Basically, no contact is a time window in which you don't text, call, or email your ex at all.  You keep contact with him limited to simple "hey" and "hello" if you have to see him.

30 days is what you should shoot for with a no contact period.  This is a good time period because it allows you to:

1. Calm your mind after a breakup

2. Give yourself and your boyfriend a break from the fighting

3. Formulate a plan to get him back

Calming your mind after a breakup is critical.  You really need to allow enough time to let these turbulent emotions fade before you try contacting your ex again. 

Why is this so important?  Because if you go after your ex again right after the breakup, you'll be contacting him in desperation mode, repeatedly texting and messaging him trying to figure otu what you did wrong.

In reality, the breakup probably wasn't anything you did at all; rather, it occurred most likely because he did not feel admired.

Men will check out of a relationship when their basic need to be admired isn't being met.  They will then seek this out in another woman.  This might seem egotistical or something, but it's really an old inborn biological trait from our earliest days.  Men would go out and hunt, then return home to their women, and the women would admire how hard their men worked.

These days, of course, we don't do that.  So without continually reminding your boyfriend of his accomplishments or simply his strength of character, it will be very hard to keep him. 

Now, no contact is also important because it gives you both a chance to escape the pattern of fighting in your relationship.  By instigating a no contact period of about 30 days, you can change the pattern to one of calm and harmony within your relationship.

You'll do this by ultimately contacting him again after the no contact period has elapsed.  When you do, however, you don't want to contact him saying, "let's get together for a while" or anything like that.  Your only goal with meeting him again should be to get seen by him after you've allowed enough time to pass after your breakup.

In addition, you should be focusing on yourself during the no contact period.  You should be allowing yourself to eat healthy, work out for 30-60 minutes as many days as you can, and hanging out with friends.  Now's your time to enjoy yourself and be single again, even just for a little bit.

You can also try going on a date with someone new.  You're no longer obligated to your ex-boyfriend to do anything.  So pick a new guy, ask him out, and just have fun with it.  Even if your new date doesn't go anywhere, it will remind you of your own capability, and the fact that you are totally attractive to a lot of people besides just your ex.

Most people forget this after a breakup.  But it's yet another reason the no contact rule is so useful.  Really take advantage of the time you've got apart from your ex, and try to live your life to its fullest. 


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Yoga will help with your Stress relief
How does Yoga help with stress relief? We all deal with stress and I'm sure you have heard of "fight or flight" response when your adrenaline starts pumping through your body. Breath work helps calm you body. What do you do when you get stressed or angry? You usually stop…
By: Randirae in  Health and Fitness  >  Pain Management   Jul 14, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

How to Get My Husband Back After Separation - Do You Need A No Contact Period?
If you're unsure of how to reconnect with your husband after a separation period, here are some basic guidelines to help you get back on track with life. First of all, you should allow a time window of 30 days of no contact from your husband after separation. This time…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Sep 01, 2011  
168
  Likes: 102

Tips for Online Shopping of Books
Online shopping of books is convenient and fun. To make sure that you get the best deals, there are some things to be aware of. Online shopping has become very popular as you end up paying less in comparison to what you would have spent if you had made the…
By: Philip4 in  Computers and Technology  >  Personal Tech   Oct 04, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

5 Highly Effective Steps In Getting Back With Your Ex Boyfriend
If you are reading this it probably means you are going through a difficult time with someone you cared a lot about. If you’re feeling kind of hopeless, I am here to give you some good news. There is always hope for getting back with your ex boyfriend, all you…
By: Lucas Heart in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 05, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Tears Never Work to Get Your Ex Back – Try This Instead
It's true. Tears are never a good idea as a weapon to get your ex back after a breakup. Tears are too scripted for many women and men learn to distrust them over time. In fact, some men find tears to be the biggest kind of turnoff in the world.…
By: T Dub Jackson in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Mar 13, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Can Cheating Be Good for A Relationship?
More frequently than not, the kneejerk response to this query is "No way!" At least, that's the fresh interpretation of the response. Nevertheless, there are moments when fornication can be positive for an union. This is the case, concording to investigation performed by Dr. Lucielle Ostertag from the Italian Institute…
By: karen13 in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jan 19, 2014  
0
  Likes: 0

Where Can I Find Help For A Troubled Relationship
Sometimes relationship problems are difficult to handle. So where can you seek help for troubled relationship? If you are still in touch with your other half, it would be a nice idea to meet over a dinner at your favorite restaurant. There you can exchange your points of view, and…
By: carthage in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Nov 23, 2011  
1
  Likes: 1

Why Your Female Friends Are Sabotaging Your Chances of Getting Him Back After Separation
If you're feeling despair, or just that terrible empty feeling when your husband is not home, I can totally understand this. Losing someone we love, even just in a separation, is extremely difficult. You are not alone. Countless women separate from their husbands and have to deal with the trials…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Sep 02, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Abuse Of A Teenager
You found him right! At last.The one and only knight in shining armor, who was made just for you ,love at frist sight. When he smiles it like a ray of sun shine. He eyes make you feel as if you are drowning in them. You heart hammers so fast…
By: Merle in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Feb 23, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

6 Easy To Follow Tips For Getting Back With Your Ex Girlfriend
When a long term relationship ends it is probably one if the most painful experiences you could go through. If you are reading this article it probably means you want to know about ways of getting back with your ex girlfriend. Although the situation you are going through may seem…
By: Lucas Heart in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 05, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Signs That My Husband is Having An Affair - 3 Keys to Watch For
Has your husband seemed withdrawn or secretive lately?  You may be looking for specific signs that your husband is having an affair.  Certain behaviors do indicate cheating in a marriage, so here are some things you should keep an eye out for. 1. Emotional distance If he seems more distant…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Sep 19, 2011  
0
  Likes: 3

Your Relationship is Over - But You Want Your Ex Back
Have you and your boyfriend or girlfriend separated, and now you want to get your ex back, because you know that you still love them? Here are a few things to help get your ex back, and fall in love with you again. Most of us feel, that when we…
By: Elaine Roger in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jun 18, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Winning Love Back - Making Him Love You Again
The best approach to getting your man back is to accept that you can only change you and that by doing so can cause him to change. If you try to change him you will fail. Simple as that. Men do not mind change but they don't like being changed.…
By: Ken Damon in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jun 05, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Save Your Relationship From The Grim Reaper – How To Stop A Divorce From Happening Now
The grim reaper has finally come to claim death to your marriage, but you’re still not willing to give up. That’s awesome. You’ve been together with your spouse for as long as you can remember, and the last thing you want to do is get a divorce. You love your…
By: Lucas Heart in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 23, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

I Called it Off – How Do I Live With the Regret?
You called the whole thing off. You ended your relationship. You told him it was over. Now YOU want him back. How do you live with the regret of ending things too soon? It's hard being the one who ended your relationship and dealing with the regret that often follows.…
By: T Dub Jackson in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 23, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Article Views: 8258    Report this Article