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breathing space
good person
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self esteem
The No Contact Rule - How Long It Takes To Get Her Back
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If you've heard about the no contact rule for healing a breakup, you may be wondering how long it takes to work, as well.  In essence, you'll need about 30 days to clear your head, and allow your ex time to clear hers.  But the most important thing about this rule is how effectively you use it.

The importance of no contact

The reason no contact for 30 days after a breakup is so critical is that it allows you to regain your self-esteem, clear your mind, and break the pattern of arguing with your ex.

Conflict leads to arguments.  Without a break in that pattern of fighting, you can't establish a new, healthy relationship.  So you've got to allow enough time to pass for both of you to rest, recover, and emotionally have some "breathing space."

No contact lets you refresh yourself

Another great benefit to going no contact for at least 30 days is that it lets you refresh your mind and body.  You should be:

1. Exercising

2. Eating healthy

3. Focusing on your favorite hobbies

4. Doing the best you can at your job/work

While you're in no contact, you should be focusing on those four things especially.  Taket his time for yourself and don't let your thoughts go to your ex all day long.  Another person doesn't need to rule your life, no matter how long they've been involved with you.

No contact lets you see that you are a self-sufficient person.  You don't need your ex's validation to feel worthy about yourself.

Practice the affirmation, "I love myself," and, "I am a worthy person" in the mirror every day.  Remind yourself that you are a person of value.  Affirmations will help you remember that no matter what hurtful things your ex says, you are a good person.

No contact helps your sanity

Wouldn't it be nice just to have a break from the fighting and chaos that led to your breakup?  Or if it wasn't a chaotic thing, to have time to figure out what went wrong, and how you can change in the future?  Going in a period like this, where you don't contact your ex, allows you to do just that.

Your sanity will improve greatly if you allow yourself a time window where you don't talk to her.  Just cut off contact entirely if you can't minimize your conversations to a simple "hi" or "hello."  If you have to see her, make it cordial, but brief.

Ultimately, when you want to know how long the no contact rule should be implemented, 30 days is an ideal target to shoot for.  You can use more or less, depending on how well you feel after a month has gone by. 

Street Talk

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