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frequent mistake
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negative emotions
grave errors
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exes
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What Not To Do After A Break Up If You Want To Get Your Ex Back
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What Not To Do After A Break Up If You Want To Get Your Ex Back

Most of the time we concentrate on what we should do after a break up to get our ex's back. It is a good idea to think about what you shouldn't be doing after a break up too. Lots of people make grave errors in judgement in the days and weeks following a break up because they do not think before they act. This is entirely normal because a plethora of negative emotions are bubbling up under the surface.

When we omit rational thinking from the equation and act on our emotions things will inevitably take a wrong turn. This is probably why you find yourself in a dilemma right now. Have you said and done all of the wrong things up until now? Is your ex not budging? Do they seem like they are slipping away? This is a direct consequence of your behaviour following the split. Don't worry though, things can be put right if you learn a few things and avoid these huge mistakes that most of us are guilty of.

1. Don't Lay The Guilt Trip On Your Ex

Unfortunately this is a frequent mistake made by a lot of exes in your position. They think that they can guilt their ex into taking them back by pleading on them and appealing to their conscience. Bemoaning your current misery and telling your ex that you cannot live without them is not a great idea here. How do you think your ex will view you if you take this route?

Not only will this make your ex pity you (which is highly unattractive by the way), it will make them resent you in the long run. This is no basis on which to found a new relationship and it will inevitably blow up in your face down the track.

Of course you are miserable and feel like the bottom of your world has dropped out, but your ex does not need to know this. In fact it is better that they have no clue how badly the break up has affected you. Trying to guilt anyone into being with you will NEVER work and you probably already know that. You want your ex to be with you out of choice or you will only end up second guessing yourself or being paranoid about little things that don't really matter.

2. Don't Communicate With Your Ex After The Split

This is likely the first thing that you want to do. Hearing their voice or seeing them again is all that you have on your mind right now. The urge to pick up the phone or call by their house is very tempting but you need to fight this urge with all of your mite. If your ex reaches out to you to make contact you shouldn't spurn them though and hang up - you will look like a grade A twit.

There is a fine line that you need to walk here to maintain your ex's respect and pull them towards you again. If you push too hard your ex will not take it kindly and they will end up thinking that you cannot accept the break up. Not only will this make you seem childish in their eyes, it will ultimately turn them off you and they will start seeing you in unattractive terms. This is what you DON'T want to happen. This is why post break up communication with your ex is to be avoided as much as possible.

3. Don't Become The Dreaded Stalker

You might think that stalkers lurk behind bushes in full blown camo gear with guns and have disturbingly few social skills. This is the traditional image, but you couldn't be more wrong. Stalkers take many forms and statistics show that exes make up a substantial number of them. Is this you? Take a cold honest look at your behaviour over these past few days and weeks. How does it look to your ex?

Maybe you think that you are being subtle and that your ex won't know what you are up to - how could they possibly see you driving past their house multiple times from their window unless they are looking through binoculars? How could they tell that their anonymous caller was you when you didn't even say anything? Your ex isn't as clueless as you think. They expect you to act in a certain way after the break up, especially if they dumped you. If they suddenly bump into you a lot or receive all of these weird calls THEY WILL KNOW THAT IT IS YOU. It won't take them long to work it out.

How would you feel if your roles were reversed and it was your ex that was stalking you? It may be cute at the start and your ego might be boosted but would you view your ex positively? You would probably pity them and want to give them a wide birth. It is the same for your ex so nip the stalking in the bud before you ruin your chances of a reconciliation completely.

Your Next Steps

Now that you know what NOT to do after a break up if you want to get your ex back, it is time to learn what you MUST do to win back your ex. There are lots of proven psychological techniques that you should be implementing now to speed up the reconciliation process. One of these is to make ex want you back - this is essential if you are to be successful.

You also should be on the look out for signs ex has moved on. There is no point in making a fool of yourself if your ex is already over you. Take a look at the bahaviours that your ex will display if they are not interested anymore.


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