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You’ve recently discovered that your husband is cheating on you. After knowing it you are in a very hard and painful perspective. You’re angry, you feel betrayed, down and you only want to divorce from him because the situation is completely unacceptable. Besides you think that he doesn’t love you anymore. For doing such an awful thing, he mustn’t love you a bit… or maybe he still cares about you?
Before doing anything, it is crucial for you to understand that causes of cheating are so very different from men to women that they must be considered as two completely independent cases. Please consider this completely proven fact about men’s infidelity: in the men’s case, they not always are in love with the person they are cheating with. This is so very important that I’d like to put it in different words: A cheating man doesn’t always love the woman he is cheating with. Maybe you don’t even imagine this, but though he cheated on you, there are big chances that your husband still loves you, and in fact that woman doesn’t mean anything to him.
It is very possible that he even doesn’t knows her complete name just because he wants from her anything but a serious relation. Please, understand this basic fact before doing any life decision about your matrimony. Your husband maybe was looking for relief from some unsatisfied desire he had and could not be fulfilled with you, or maybe he was in the mood to, because some disagreement he had with you, but it is almost an undeniable fact that first, he doesn’t really care about that woman anymore but for having maybe the chance to have another discreet meeting in some, undefined moment in the future, and second, he still loves you and he would never wanted to abandon you.
Why is this so very difficult to understand for a woman? Because they analyze this situation from a woman’s point of view. For a woman to accept having a relationship with a man, she must admire him, find him attractive or maybe love him before having any relationship. In short, a woman must feel something for a man before accepting having sex with him. That is why after finding out that her husband is cheating on her a woman immediately thinks that her husband doesn’t love her anymore. But men don’t think the same way as women on the subject of having an affair.
Just think about this: aren’t you thinking at this moment “he must be in love with that woman” or “he doesn’t love me anymore”? The simple, real fact is that men can have sex with a woman EVEN IF THEY DON’T LIKE HER. Men don’t need to be in love with a woman to feel in the mood to have a casual relationship with her. Besides if a man is married they hardly is interested on her more than from a physical point of view.
This is a very hard to understand fact for women, and it has caused so many marriages to unnecessarily broke up. Maybe from your point of view, this is not a very reasonable suggestion, but it can’t be stressed enough for you to re-evaluate your case and try to see things from this different point of view.
It isn’t an easy to quantify fact, but from known divorce cases it is not hard to estimate that at least 60 percent of divorces are caused by cheating men who weren’t interested enough on the person they are cheating with, they have regret very badly being unfaithful to their wife, and besides, they still love their ex-wife and want to get her back.
If you, after making an effort to follow this advice, feel convinced that it is worth, please avoid divorcing with him. It is easier to understand what was wrong in your marital relationship and learn how you can get your husband in love with you again, than breaking up a relationship where both of you still love each other. Calm down, not everything is lost, maybe the only thing he needs is confidence to ask you what he wants from you. But please, give him a chance before thinking about divorce. You can still fix your situation if you reconsider things out.
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