Relationships end for all kinds of reasons. Some of them end because your girlfriend wants to change you somehow and you believe you're find just the way you are. There's an old line somewhere that talks about how women find a man that has a ton of potential and marry him hoping to shape him into the man they want him to be while men find a woman that's perfect as she is and they hope she'll never change. That’s the main struggle that couples face today. It's the meeting in the middle between the two.

Change is inevitable. It's a force of nature that happens. You stop trying as hard as you become more familiar with each other. The masks come off. The bad habits start to show up more and more as efforts to hide them become less and less important on both sides of the relationship. You feel that she's nagging and forcing you to change. She feels that you're not keeping your end of the bargain. Somewhere in the middle there's a nugget of truth on each side. That doesn't take the sting out of the fact that she doesn't love you as you are or the fact that she's trying to force you to change.

But the one surprising thing about all of this is that so many men still never stop and talk about this and how they feel about it with her. They just allow the resentment to grow, the continue ignoring her rather than confronting the issues, and then, when it's all gone south they are left thunderstruck wondering what on earth has happened and what on earth it's going to take for them to make it all better. All you really want is to find a way to get your girlfriend back and make your relationship work.

Well guess what? You're going to have to learn to tell her what's on your mind for the relationship to work. That isn't about trying to force you to change but more along the lines of forcing you to participate. She needs to see that you're willing to fight to save your relationship. If you give up without a fight, she's going to think that you don't believe your relationship is worth fighting for.

But, before you can do that – before you can fight to save your relationship, you're going to have to learn to let go of what you think your relationship should be and embrace the idea that the two of you need to sit down and make your own definition of what your relationship should be before you get your ex back.