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rude behavior
defense mechanism
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Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Acting Like A Prat? - Learn What Is Going On In His Head
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Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Acting Like A Prat?  -  Learn What Is Going On In His Head

You've probably wondered why your ex is suddenly acting like a world-class jerk. It's like the guy you invested so much time and energy into has suddenly become someone you don't even recognize. He is rude, mean and downright cruel, and you want to know why. Where is the guy you cared about? Is he even in there somewhere? Where is all this behavior coming from?

It's obvious that the breakup took its toll on both of you, but why is he being so disrespectful? Chances are you never saw this side of him before, and it's taking you completely by surprise. Part of you still cares about him a great deal, and you probably still miss him. But it's impossible to continue to reach out to him when he seems determined to do nothing but hurt you more. The only way to move past his sudden change of behavior is to truly understand where it's coming from, and what's causing it. In order to stop his negative and rude behavior, you first need to understand why he's being like this in the first place.

Defensive Behavior

There are lots of reasons why a guy may act like a jerk - even if he's been the epitome of a gentleman in the past. Some guys are just born that way. But if you and your ex had a loving, respectful relationship before the breakup, chances are he wasn't a part of the "natural born jerk" category. Many men act like a jerk as a defense mechanism - and sometimes they aren't even aware that they're doing it. If your breakup was especially difficult or painful, it's possible that he's built a barrier around himself emotionally to prevent further pain. This wall prevents you from getting close to him again, and in his mind that equals not getting hurt again. This can be one of the main reasons he's suddenly treating you badly.

It seems horrible to think about treating someone you used to love in a casual and careless manner. The thing is, he may not even be aware of his actions - or the impact that they have on you. Seeing you can cause him an immeasurable amount of pain, especially if he still has feelings for you that he's having trouble dealing with. In his confusion or pain, he lashes out at you unwittingly. While it's not an excuse for bad behavior and it's certainly unfair - it is a plausible explanation for his sudden mood swing. Recognize that it may not be intentional. We all react to our emotions differently, and his may be manifesting themselves in a way that is negative and disrespectful, and he might be overwhelmed by it.

Acting out of Hurt

If ending the relationship was your idea or he caught you cheating, chances are he's still severely hurt. There is a remarkably thin line between hate and love - if he treats you as though he hates you, then he probably still has intense feelings for you and you're still affecting him.

Acting like a jerk can be a tell-tale sign that he is out for revenge and trying to cause you the amount of pain he feels that you inflicted on him. While it isn't mature or healthy, it is an entirely human reaction to feeling pain. While the breakup may be all on you, it is vital that you stop this kind of behavior as soon as it starts. The longer this kind of negativity keeps up, the longer you will continue grating at each other and it will ruin any chances of relationship reconciliation - or even a friendship.

Give it Time

Don't allow yourself to get caught up in his spiral of negativity. His choices and his actions are his responsibility, and it's not your problem to fix. It is no longer your job to try and work through painful situations with him and try to make them better. It is especially vital for you to leave the negativity behind you if you're still having feelings for him. If you stick around for all of his rants about how bad of a person you are and he doesn't understand how you could treat him this way, he will lose any trace of respect for you that he may still have.

More importantly, that kind of verbal trauma grates on our own conception of ourselves, and can easily get old. For your own mental health and his, it's better to leave before the rant gains traction. Not standing up for yourself can be a horrible mistake - people treat us the way we allow them to, and if he's continually allowed to treat you badly he will continue to do so. If he loses all his respect for you, then there is no chance of getting back together later, and after suffering through countless rants about your character, why would you want to?

If it gets really bad, you may want to think about breaking contact with him for a period of time. A break can be just what you both need to catch your breath and cool down from the heightened emotions you're both feeling. Giving him space can let his emotions settle and give him a chance to think about his actions and behaviors. Don't make yourself available to be his verbal sparring partner. Only by putting your food down and standing up for yourself can he come to realize how much he does respect you as a partner, this will allow you to get him back. A quiet period of no contact can be helpful for both of you.

Your Next Step

There are ways to make him realize what a jerk he's being. Regain control of the situation, and make him chase you in a positive way instead of a negative. By making him miss you and reminding him of what made him fall for you in the first place, he'll quickly realize what a jerk he's been and soon be eating out of your hand.

Understanding the motivations and causes of his behavior are key factors in determining and appropriate solution. He may not realize what a jerk he's being - give him the chance to think about what he's done and realize what a mistake he's made. Soon he'll be begging for the chance to apologize. And id he doesn't? Then you have to take matters into your own hands and give him a taste of his own medicine. Use the no contact rule to show him that you are not at his beck and call.

Street Talk

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