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Why Use The No Contact Rule After A Breakup?
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Why Use The No Contact Rule After A Breakup?

Breakups can be excruciatingly hard to deal with for one partner. Even though breakups are hard on both parties, the one who was let go usually has a lot to overcome opposed to the partner letting go. This article will deal with the importance of why you should use the no contact rule after a breakup.

There's a lot of terrible advice out there about the no contact rule after a breakup. Many of those who write them have never even used no contact nor the strategy they're even marketing. I can usually spot them with ease.

So let's begin with why you should use the no contact rule after a breakup. For most people, it seems they believe that they should stay as close as possible to an ex to have any hope of getting an ex back. This is, unfortunately, one of the main reasons why most fail to get an ex back.

Remaining in your ex's life or agreeing to stay friends with an ex is a death sentence if you still have feelings for your ex. When most people get dumped, their only focus becomes getting their ex back. They become obsessed with it. How do they go about getting an ex back, however.

They become a nuisance. They become stalkers and harassers and constantly text or call their ex trying to change their minds or convince them they were wrong in breaking up with them. Don't terrorize your ex. It's a sure way to push them away forever.

The no contact rule after a breakup is damage control. The more you interact with your ex, the more stupid things you'll do or say to upset them. Yes, it's quite easy to do when you're emotional, and if you're in denial about being emotional after a breakup, you need to start accepting that fact pronto.

Not only is no contact after a breakup damage control with your ex, this tactic also lets you take a step back and get yourself back together. Yes, you'll have to heal from the pain of the breakup and get yourself back to a good place.

You see, all the terrible information out there about the no contact after a breakup tends to focus the tactic on your ex. No contact is more about you than your ex. It helps you from committing further mistakes as well as gives you the space to heal from the breakup and get back to yourself.

However, the no contact after a breakup is more than just cutting off communication and disappearing. There are actually rules of no contact after a breakup to help you get through this stage.

The better you follow the no contact rules after a breakup, the better you'll be set up to re-attract your ex and win them back. The less you know about the rules of no contact, the less chance you'll have of ever getting them back.

Most people learn the hard way of the importance of the no contact rule after a breakup. Don't be one of them and damage any chance you may have of getting your ex back permanently.

Street Talk


Hi there...this maybe a grey area, but there are two concerns here. You have stated that he doesn't want a long distance relationship and makes no effort in coming to visit you. You two are also dating other people, but still have strong feelings for one another. It sounds like you two have mutually agreed to just be friends, and that's how you should approach your unique situation. Using the no contact rule in this situation all depends on if keeping in contact with him is delaying your ability to move on from the intimate aspects of the relationship. If he's only into things when it's convenient for him, he doesn't sound very serious about making an intimate relationship work. This can also be said for a friendship also. Any kind of relationship goes both ways. A healthy relationship, no matter if just friends or intimate, is never just one-sided. I don't think no contact is necessary in your situation, unless you find it extremely hard to move on from him and this impacts your ability to find another meaningful relationship with another. It sounds like he has made his choice about wanting to be with you, and that was answered with - "I don't want to be in a long distance relationship." I would keep the situation as a long distance friendship, but start to move on and not make any effort until you see him make more effort.

  about 3 years ago

I have what I "think" is a grey area problem. I was in a "perfect" relationship with the love of my life, but we had some other issues. One issue was I moved to his city and lived with him after courtship. I was going to school in that area and it made sense to do that since we were "in love". No problems, no cheating, abuse, neglect or anything, just love. The area is which he lives had no jobs and my kids and I had to move back home, because my son wanted to graduate with his friends he grew up with. This was something I promised him when we first moved. My love had just been hit with some financial issues and could no longer help if I stayed. He was devastated and so was I. However, he did not want to be in a long distance relationship, especially due to the fact we had no idea when things would clear up, so we date others and keep in touch. I have been to see him twice, because my kids wanted to go back and visit friends. However, he has not come visit me once. I have tried to just cut him off, because I have felt if we are not going to make plans to end up together we might as well move on, but we both still feel love for one another. How should I handle him not coming to see me. I have your system, but not sure how it applies to this situation. Let me add: He has stated he wants to come and will come, but never seems to make the sacrifice. He seems to be all in if I fall in his lap, but not willing to go out of his way. What should I say to him? Is this grounds for the NO CONTACT RULE?

  about 3 years ago
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