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relationships
self esteem issues
boyfriend girlfriend
low self esteem
9 times out of 10
right move
psychological problems
sponges
nerves
relationship
stress
You Don't Have To Stay In Bad Relationships
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You Don\'t Have To Stay In Bad Relationships

I have noticed that there are so many people who think its okay to stay in bad relationships. So many people think that they should fight for the boyfriend/girlfriend to come back to a bad relationship. I totally disagree with both Statements. If the relationship has turned bad, and it's not getting any better, it is not a good idea to stay together, especially when there are children involved. Staying in a bad relationship when there are children involved is bad for you as well as for them. I will tell you why.

Being in a bad relationship is very stressful on the part of the person who is trying to straighten the relationship out. Stress can cause a person to become very sick in their body, They can become depressed. Children are sponges. When you think they are not hearing you, they are. They hear everything you are saying. You cannot underestimate what they know, because you will find out, they know more than you think. Children will begin to wonder why you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are arguing, and if the argument is about them. You don't want them to have that in their mind. Your children can also begin to have psychological problems behind it. You will wonder why they are doing things that they normally don't do, they will also act out for no reason. Be mindful about staying in a bad relationship.

I also have come to realize that 9 times out of 10, the spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, will never change. They will keep doing what they are doing, and you will be the one, fed up with it and leave. Sometimes they do things on purpose to get on your nerves enough, so that you will want to break up, instead of telling you themselves that they don't want to stay. The reason why people fight for a relationship that they know is bad, is because they have low self-esteem issues, and they feel that the person they are with is right for them, even though they are not right.

Move On

It's okay to move on when a relationship is not going anywhere, or if you have been hurt by the person you are with. This is where I don't agree with fighting to stay in a relationship. When a person has hurt you real bad, you can forgive them for what they did, but it's not a good idea to stay with them. Who is it to say that they won't hurt you again. It's better to live a stress free life, than to live stressful. It's better to have a piece of mind, instead of losing it.Your children need to be in a stable home, so they can live happy lives. The person you are breaking up with may not understand why, don't be afraid to let them know. They may beg for you to stay, but stand your ground and keep moving. Don't waste your time.

My Story

I was visiting my friend for a few hours. We were playing cards as we always do. Then she got this phone call from a friend of hers, a male. She began talking about me to him, and he became interested in talking to me. As I started talking to him, I grew interested in him as well. So he came to her house and we all talked. This man and I began talking and started dating. Everything was fine at first.He helped me move into my new place. We spent a lot of time with each other. I met his mother and his kids. They were between the ages of 8 and 12 years old. I would let his kids spend the night at my place, since he was living with me. I know it was too soon, but it felt right.

I got along with his family as they got along with me.I traveled to South Carolina, to meet his other relatives. We went out when we wanted to to.Then we had our daughter. When I was pregnant with her, I winded up becoming a high risk pregnancy because of the stress I was under. I winded up staying in the hospital until she was born because my placenta tore and she was not getting any food. There was a test, that the doctor recommended that I take, to see if the baby was going to have any birth defects. The test never happened because I found out the talk show host Ricky Lake was having her first child on another floor.

I winded up having a c-section with my daughter later that day. Because of her weight being low, she had to stay in the hospital. She weighed 3lbs 13oz. When I came home, this woman I don't even know, but saw, called me and told me she hoped my daughter died. That let me know he was cheating on me with her. I don't know how long, but I know she put him in jail for Domestic Violence. I found the paperwork. She would call my house harassing me. I tried to file charges, but they didn't stick.

One of his baby mothers kept calling my house and was saying stupid stuff. I didn't know that he was trying to get back with her. I acted like a woman should act in problems like this. The funny thing is, she can talk on the phone, but when she saw me face to face, she would act like nothing happened. There were other problems that came about. There was a surprise that came out too. I had another baby when I didn't know I was pregnant with. I went to the hospital because I was having pains. The doctors said it was cramps. So I went home.

On Thanksgiving, when he didn't show up to pick me and my kids up to go to his nieces house, I winded up cooking at home. When I finished eating, I went to sleep. I kept waking up in the middle of the night because I was having stomach pains. I kept going to the bathroom, thinking I had to use it but the stomach pains were still there.

I decided to take a bath. In the mist of it, I had my daughter in the tub. Thank God, she was alright. My oldest daughter saw me and I had her give me my phone to call the police. The funny thing was, I had to leave her and my second daughter with the cops so my mother can pick them up. My oldest daughter cried because she thought she was going to jail. When I arrived at the hospital, They checked me and the baby out.We both were fine. Everybody was amazed at it. I was too.

That didn't stop him from cheating on me because he continued. The last straw was when he cheated on me with a woman and got her pregnant. I packed his things up, put them at the door, and told him he had 30 days to picked them up. When he didn't come and pick them up, I through them in the trash. I was not going to allow him to use my house as a storage for his stuff. It felt good letting him go. It didn't make sense staying with him when he was not going to change. I didn't want to be stressed out over something that is not important. My kids did not need to see me stressed out.

They Will Try And Come Back

After you have broken up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, they will realize that, they lost a good thing. This is what happened to me. I was good to my kids father, and he took it or granted. Now he realizes what he had that was good, he lost. He is now stuck with the woman he cheated on me with because he married her. I am happy and he is miserable because she does not do the things I did for him. When you make that decision to leave the relationship, stick to it, no matter if they try to convince you that they have changed. It may not even be true. Stand your ground and tell them to move on because you already have. There is no sense in working it out when it won't work. Let them work on themselves for the next pers


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