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Your Ex Boyfriend Texted You! How To Handle This If You Still Love Him
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Your Ex Boyfriend Texted You! How to Handle This If You Still Love Him

Your hands are shaking and your legs feel limp. You're staring at your phone because you just received a text message from the one person you love more than life itself. It's your ex boyfriend. He's texted you after a period of silence. Maybe he just wanted to say "hi." Perhaps he's taken it a step further and texted that he really misses you. Regardless you can't even form a response at this point because you feel as though all your dreams are coming true. It's hard not to see his text message as the beginning of a new connection for the two of you. It's what you want and his interest, via text, is proof that he wants the very same thing, right?

Before you start planning a romantic dinner as a backdrop for the two of you to proclaim your love for one another, stop. You have to take a step back, try and disengage your heart and handle his text in exactly the right way. You can only do that if you really understand the motivation behind his actions.

Wait Before You Text Your Ex Boyfriend Back

When your ex boyfriend texts you it's almost impossible not to text him back immediately telling him how much you miss him and want him. You have to do everything in your power to avoid that temptation even if that means turning off your phone or going for a walk without it. The speed at which you respond to your ex boyfriend, and also the response itself, can aid you in getting him back. If you handle it the wrong way, you could actually scare him or push him into pulling back again.

It's wise to wait at least a few hours before you respond to his initial text message. The reasoning behind this is two-fold. First, and most importantly, you need to gauge his reaction. If you allow some time to pass before you text him back, you're giving him the opportunity to consider whether or not you're as interested in him as he might have assumed you were. You don't want him to get the impression that you'd race over to his house to see him at the drop of a hat. If your ex boyfriend has to question your level of interest that will help you in the long term.

The other reason why you need to temper your response to your ex boyfriend is for your own emotional balance. When you first realize that he's reaching out to you, the flood gates of your heart are bound to open wide and you may say everything you feel. To a man just testing the waters of how an ex girlfriend feels, this is going to be too much, way too soon. By taking a few hours to really think about your reaction, you'll be able to respond in a much less emotionally driven way.

Pace Your Actions After He Texts You

Before you can even begin to plan how you're going to get him to want you back, you have to reignite his interest. In order to do that, you have to be willing to do the things that don't necessarily come naturally.

Many an ex boyfriend will text their respective ex girlfriend's to say, "I miss you." How could this not pull at your heartstrings when you spend hours each day imagining being with him again? The problem is that he may just be saying he misses having a girlfriend or he misses you as a friend. The words "I miss you," can be absorbed in many different ways and that's particularly true in the context of a broken relationship.

You can't know for certain how he's intending those words to be taken unless you do one simple thing. Don't respond in kind to him. If you say, "I miss you too," you may lose his interest on the spot. You'll fare much better if you ignore the remark and instead ask how he is, or inquire if he's got anything exciting happening in his life.

By doing this, you'll be throwing your ex boyfriend off balance. He's likely waiting for you to tell him just how much you miss him. He may be expecting you to tell him that you can't live without him, that you're lost on your own or that you're devastated and heartbroken. If your ex boyfriend is fishing for an ego boost and you respond by pouring out your lonely heart to him, he's got what he came looking for and he'll disappear into the distance again.

Call Your Ex Boyfriend's Bluff

If he suggests, through his text messages, that he truly longs for your company or he regrets the break up, ask him to meet up to talk about things in person. If your ex boyfriend does want you back, he'll be ready to schedule the meeting as soon as possible. If he's just looking for some reassurance that you're not over him yet, expect him to shy away from the idea of anything more than exchanging text messages.

Sometimes, depending on how serious your ex boyfriend is, you can actually bait him with text messages that suggest you're not completely sold on the idea of reconnecting with him. One of the best ways to get him to want you back is to treat him exclusively as a friend. Respond to his random text messages as you would any friend, by being cheerful and non-threatening in terms of emotions. Call him, "Bud" or "Pal." Don't race to respond to his text messages and if he starts saying romantic things, don't jump off the deep end by asking him to get back together. Keep your heart safe, and your distance and let your ex boyfriend show you the real reason why he texted you. He eventually will if you can show him that you have emotional self control and patience.

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