Oh dear, someone thought it was a good idea to create a fantasy name generator. No wonder fantasy books are now populated with Eulum's and Ghaxril's and Argoroth's.

Newsflash: these are not "cool" names.

Okay, sure, they are kind of cool. But they're generic, bland, and uninspired.

So is Wonder. Darkth. Morbidum. Dread. Hope. Lightning. Fang. Snow. Vanille.

A cool fantasy name follows 3 rules:

1) It's fun

2) It's great for screaming out loud ("Morivaaal!!")

3) It's got soul, not just personality

After that, anything goes.

Here are 10 examples.

10. Vantrekke

Ew, what the hell is that? That someone's name?

Yeah, actually, it is. What you might find interesting is that that's the elongated version -- the full name. But this fellow happens to go by another name. A more common name.

His friends call him Van.

9. Isonno

Sounds like a mobster. Where'd he come from, Sicily?

Har, har, har.

Isonno's actually a man of the Sixth. Sixthmen tend to have double "n's" in their name and three syllables. His father is Lannister, who prefers to go by Lan.

That's something else you might want to think about.

8. Gurteus

"It sounds like someone just threw up on my computer screen." - You

Gurteus is a bad guy. His name exudes it, though not outright. It's got a touch of sophistication to it, like it's a really, really old name, and maybe the malevolence would be gone if you were speaking another language. You could easily imagine some gallant warrior or mage going down in the history books with that name.

Gurteus the Ascended One. Oooh.

7. Eyel

ee-YEHL?

No, AHYL.

One of the things about reading a story is that you don't get to hear the pronunciation of certain fantasy terms, which can either make or break the term. I didn't know until Dissidia that Tidus was pronounced TEE-duhs; I always thought it was TY-duhs. The transition was painful.

6. Louqe

Now there's a name for your daughter. That's right, it's a female name. If you thought this was just another alteration of Luke, you were wrong.

That's another way to spin names: give girls boys' names with more elegant spelling, and vice-versa.

5. Noa

Surprise! Another girl's name.

But this one has some history, doesn't it? Indeed, you can tie this name to its biblical origin however you like. Or not. It's not the same name, after all.

When giving your name soul -- that individualistic "it-ness" -- you don't have to completely omit its personality -- its history, roots, or meaning. The most memorable names are a healthy mix of both, which is why memorable names are so rare.

Prime example? Cloud.

4. Jephrey

Talk about modern. This name could run an ad for itself.

"Jephrey, the modern name for modern fantasy stories. Use Jephrey for your everyday Prince of post-apocalypse America and watch your audience's eyes light up. Shorten it to 'Jeph' for memorability. Order now and we'll throw in 'Oliver' for free! It's the perfect holiday gift. Jephrey. Call now!"

Lulz.

3. Morival

Gandalf ain't got nuthin' on him. Morival's the man. Morival of the Fifth Sun, who defeated Gurteus the Ascended One and locked the Gates of Elwaye. Morival of the Fifth Sun, who trained Lloyde Esmonde into the legendary warrior that he was. Morival of the Fifth Sun, who rescued Princess Lokelia and single-handedly brought down Arcouda Mackie's Inter-Alliance. Yeah, what you got on that, Gandalf? Morival knows the lightnings. He can... He can...

Wait, what? Morival is a she?

Well I'll be a wizard's beard.

2. Arcouda

Speaking of Arcouda, that's one helluva name. It's completely original -- all soul, with its own personality -- and it's got that ancient-yet-modern feel to it. Forget Jephrey, I want to talk to King Arcouda. What's an Arcouda, anyway? A snake? It sounds like a mythical snake. Or maybe a dragon. Oooh, the Arcouda Dragon. Where do they roam, the Mu Kasa? The Highlink Caverns?

Arcouda's parents named him well, they did. Or maybe her parents? Always a possibility.

1. Ariel and Elira

These are sisters. Ariel is the younger, Elira the older.

Both become mage-agents for an organization. Their codenames are Agent L and Agent R, respectively.

They die and get reincarnated. Agent L, Reicht Lesache, a princess. Agent R, Lokelia Rula, a princess.

Ariel L Reicht Lesache R Lokelia Rula Elira.

Arelelarelarlelarelelar.

These names all follow my own tips for choosing character names -- the three "rules" listed above. I had fun coming up with them, they're great for crying in anguish, and they've got soul, not just personality. No, you don't have to follow them. Go to your local fantasy name generator and pick one out if you couldn't care less what it sounds like.

But let's face it, you won't find a list like this anywhere else. That's because this is the stuff you pull out of your own noggin -- the real fantasy name generator.