So, did anyone else catch the irony in the wildly popular song "All the Single Ladies"? Great song! I run to the dance floor every time it plays, but the irony is that she is singing about the "joys" of being single and yet, the whole song is about how she is hopping form man to man. Is that single? Not so much....its man hopping because she, of all the beautiful women in the world, is too insecure to be alone.

Now Kelly Clarkson's new one: "Stronger" is more my speed!

I have been Single for almost 5 years (of coarse of and on, because I also, get lonely and fall into bad relationships) I have been happily single for a little over a year!

Happily single defined: not continually looking for the next best man, instead working toward self-improvement without needing a man i.e.: work outs, more sleep, career, mind, body, spirit, being completely satisfied without the worry of having someone to go home to or call your "own".

Have I wanted the perfect man to come and sweep me off my feet for the past year to help me get over the heartache of the last bad relationship? Absolutely!! However, I refuse to go "looking" or "hunting" for a man, because my past experience has shown me that when I am looking, the man I find, is NEVER the right one.

In general as women, we know we have the "power"......we have our choice, usually, so we narrow down our options and "attack". This leaves men passive in general, because they know that the women will make the first move. This is bad news single ladies! Make them work! They should be pursuing you, and not just for the night, but every day for the rest of your lives if this relationship is going to move on past anything from tonight!

The next time you find yourself single, fight the urge to "fix" the problem and put "gloss on your lips and a man on your hip". Hate to break it to you Beyoncé, but that is NOT defined as single, it's defined as desperate! Put gloss on your lips and go out all you want, but go out with your girlfriends and chalk it up to a night you will actually remember full of memories with your best girls, not some stranger who just wants you for the night.

Let them come to you, let them come to you all night long, but only the one that keeps pursuing you for weeks to come is worth you giving up your very sacred time and single label for!

In short, I'm saying lets kiss dating as a science goodbye! Dating is a waste of our valuable time that we could be spending on ourselves: work, play, friends, family, bodies, minds, souls, dreams. You have the time to fight for your dreams, right now! Use your time wisely, so you don't just resent the next best thing that comes your way. You are a beautiful woman, your time actually single is precious, so protect it, and the next time you are asked out, make him work for it!

Remember when you were young and the world was your oyster? Go back there! Go find that girl, and the man who find you on your road to discovering all of your dreams, will be the perfect one that waking up next to everyday will just happen naturally!

Here's to all the happily single ladies!